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Sweetleaf
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25 Dec 2021, 3:52 am

Is it bad that if a cousin of mine ended up dead I wouldn't care and in fact would probably celebrate?

To give context he's a freaking psychopath, he killed my dads dog for no reason when he had to leave the dog home to go to his job. And one time I saw him attack my dad cause he was staying at my grandparents house, but they had told my dad to take care of some things around there while we were staying there on the property but sleeping at my uncles house, and so he went over to do some work on the house they had asked him to and my psycho cousin attacked him...my uncle got him to stop but only after he threatened to smash his head in with the hammer he had, if he kept beating on my dad. So as you can see 'great' family dynamics on my dads side of the family, yes that is a bit of sarcasm. But my moms side is not great either.

So yeah if that cousin died I would not be sad and might even celebrate like 'hooray he's dead' like I just wish he'd fall into a swamp and not be able to get out. Like first I recall meeting him he well was joking about me hauling a bunch of logs in or so I thought while drinking, and then got mad when in the morning when 5'0 95 pound me at the time didn't get up first thing and actually haul the logs that would have been too heavy for someone my size to haul anyways. I did not really talk to him after that, just whenever he was around heard the gross sexist tirades he went on even around our grandma.

So I guess is it bad to feel like if a nasty relative died, you wouldn't care...and might even celebrate? Or do I need psychological help for feeling like that?


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hurtloam
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25 Dec 2021, 4:09 am

John Wick says no it's not wrong.

I totally understand. You feel a family connection, but you know he's a bad person, so you're conflicted.

It's totally ok to set boundaries and see people for who they are.



Redpaws
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25 Dec 2021, 4:27 am

No, you don't need help for that! When anyone just kills a dog or attacks your father, it is okay to despise them, and look forward to their demise.

I had a grandmother who I never was close with, and after she bad-mouthed my mom while talking to a friend right in front of me, I despised her. I wasn't the least bit sad when she died. My aunt, her daughter, asked if i didn't wanna come and visit her grave, I said no, and she got upset. It caused a quarrel, and later two of my cousins got involved in the issue as well. I'm not a fan of the paternal side of my family. to say the least.

It's not wrong to feel that way about relatives who have wronged you or your loved ones, just like you would any other non-related person who did the same.


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HighLlama
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25 Dec 2021, 4:30 am

I agree with Redpaws. This guy was a danger to others and it's appropriate to feel relief or joy with him gone. A threat has been removed. He encourage people to dislike him through his behavior.

I also relate to the story about Redpaws' grandmother. Mine was particularly nasty and two-faced, often putting down family members and controlling them. I was glad when she died because I didn't have to deal with her choice to behave horribly. I never went to the funeral either. I wish things had been different, but that was really up to her.



Jakki
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25 Dec 2021, 4:38 am

Many months a older lady who was keeping a ex-con adopted step son by a previous marriage, in her back yard in a tent, just a few yards over from mine, this older lady knew my situation of living alone . And made sure this exon knew of it too. So I became his stalking target . It was almost impossible to go out in my rather big yard, that required lots of care without this man verbally or otherwise harassing me. And the police never seemed to catch him when he was just standing out in front of my house doing these activities . It aggravated a already bad case of PTSD
I had , but for the older lady it distracted this man from dealing with her instead . To have him coming after me.
He was 60 something years old . And just recently died in front of the liquor store, where he would gather other overgrown juvenile deliquents, who looked up to him, as he was their bad guy image, these other people wanted to be like .He would remove things from other peoples yards and sell them. Using the other younger wanna be bad guys as look outs. And take other peoples property and sell or pawn it.
I felt torn with my own emotions, was it bad for me to have the relief from this man and his buddies , and feel good that he had died. or Was it bad to feel relief .. I knew this was a good thing to be relieved of this stress .But to feel good cause someone has died.???? I do agree with the principal ideas in the above thread.


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Sweetleaf
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25 Dec 2021, 4:41 am

HighLlama wrote:
I agree with Redpaws. This guy was a danger to others and it's appropriate to feel relief or joy with him gone. A threat has been removed. He encourage people to dislike him through his behavior.

I also relate to the story about Redpaws' grandmother. Mine was particularly nasty and two-faced, often putting down family members and controlling them. I was glad when she died because I didn't have to deal with her choice to behave horribly. I never went to the funeral either. I wish things had been different, but that was really up to her.



He is still around though, i am just thinking ahead about kind of hoping he meets an untimely death before he can harm too many people or more animals than he probably has. Like he is very much alive but also just very sh*tty since he tricked my dead grandparents into giving him the property also.


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HighLlama
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25 Dec 2021, 4:45 am

^Sorry, I didn't mean to lose sight of the facts. But I do think your feelings are normal and understandable.



Sweetleaf
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25 Dec 2021, 5:04 am

HighLlama wrote:
I agree with Redpaws. This guy was a danger to others and it's appropriate to feel relief or joy with him gone. A threat has been removed. He encourage people to dislike him through his behavior.

I also relate to the story about Redpaws' grandmother. Mine was particularly nasty and two-faced, often putting down family members and controlling them. I was glad when she died because I didn't have to deal with her choice to behave horribly. I never went to the funeral either. I wish things had been different, but that was really up to her.


I usually do not go to funerals,, like if someone I care about dies I'd rather stay home and think of them, maybe put on some music they would have liked and do a shot in their honor. At least that is what I did for the first funeral where it was a friend who died, none of us got to the funeral cause he was homeless and his familiy was acting weird. But idk tons of people including me and my brother miss him but we never got to go to his funeral all we have is whatever memories of him from when we hung out together. But he was a guy people liked, not some dog shooting jack off like my cousin.

either way I miss my friend camren, but we called him coffin we'd say cause he'd sleep like a vampire with arms across his chest and so people called him Coffin. But well ole coffin tried to take a train hopping trip out to california, and he didn't make it...they found his body on the train.

But yeah what I say there is about a mutual friend me and my brother had and we honor his death, but if that shtty cousin died I would not honor it like I do with me and my brothers mutual friend.


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Minuteman
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27 Dec 2021, 10:04 pm

There are people who I'd love to see die so I could piss on their graves.

Would I say that out loud? No. But I definitely think it. And I'm sure many NT's feel the same.