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TwilightPrincess
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06 Aug 2023, 12:07 pm

What we think of as girly or boyish behavior is, largely, a social construct. There’s no reason why girls should wear makeup, like the color pink, or wear dresses. There’s no reason why boys can’t do those things either, apart from social norms and probable bullying and ostracism for defying them.


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Caz72
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06 Aug 2023, 12:09 pm

cisgender then


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TwilightPrincess
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06 Aug 2023, 12:11 pm

It’s a shame there’s not enough time in a school day for sociology and philosophy classes. I think they would go a long way in promoting understanding and tolerance.


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Aug 2023, 12:19 pm

A girl or woman can be cisgender without being "girly" in the stereotypical way.

My first answer in this thread was "Yes, I'm girly". That's because a girl can be whatever she wants to be. I'd say that I"m "boyly" (boyish?) too, because I suppose a boy can be whatever he wants to be too.

I look female because that's my biology. My brain doesn't need to be categorised into a box.

It's just a brain. I'm pretty sure our brains are all the same.


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blitzkrieg
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07 Aug 2023, 7:23 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Gender people?

You don't have to elaborate, but jsyk I'm laughing my arse off at that one.

Is that like ethnic people?

:lol:


Wouldn't it make more sense if the word was 'gendered' people rather than 'gender' people & that Caz identifies as a gendered person, presumably female?

That's how I interpreted her post.



IsabellaLinton
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07 Aug 2023, 7:36 pm

Trans people are gendered too.
A trans man like FF has a gender. It's male.
A trans female like Ashley has a gender. It's female.
Non-Binary is also a gender, although non-traditional.
It's even in the dropdown for gender choices here.

In that respect all people are gender people or even gendered people.
It's the same with the term "ethnic people", which I hear a lot.
Everyone on earth has an ethnicity of some sort.
We are all ethnic people and gendered people.

The coolest thing is that we're all PEOPLE.
I wish people would use that word more.
It would show respect for what we all have in common.

(No, I'm not cancelling gender or ethnicity either.)


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KitLily
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08 Aug 2023, 9:46 am

No, I've never been a girly girl. I've never had any idea of the right clothes, make up, jewellery to wear. I'm just not interested in it and don't understand any of it.

Luckily, my daughter is super girly and tells me what to wear and what not to wear.

And I stick closely to one of those 'how to dress for your type' programs, that has given me the confidence to wear clothes I actually look good in.

But I've no idea how to work out what I look good in by myself. I tend to live in my head and think about ideas, I don't know what people think about me or what I think about them.

I kind of admire women who are girly because I wish I was. Maybe I'd fit in better if I was girly. People seem intimidated and confused by me because I don't fit into a stereotyped 'girl' appearance.


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Lunella
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08 Aug 2023, 9:51 am

There's a lot of very feminine ASD women in the Tiktok gaming community it's really common now.

There are a lot of us, most probably don't even know they're ASD trying to fit into the mainstream trends and such.


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08 Aug 2023, 11:43 am

To answer this, I do not know how to understand this question, but I will try to provide a comprehensive answer that covers several aspects.

Physically: It took me a while to become a girly girl, but I think I've managed it with the years. Or at least, as best I could/wanted.
I finally managed to look like a girl even though I am often told that I have an androgyny vibe.
I don’t always take good care of myself, really when I feel like it because I have significant sensory problems.
I can find pleasure in wearing lipstick when I feel like it. I can like to find myself pretty and like coquetries sometimes. Caring for my body every day, on the other hand, is not my thing at all because of my sensory problems with creams, masks (and brushing teeth) and my obvious lack of patience. But I don't hate that in itself. It is just difficult because I get tired quickly and that there are not enough hours in a day.

Mentally: Even if men are going to tell me that I have a behavior or reactions of a guy or I have interests as a guy (yes, in a country like France, we still often say things like this and I have worked in male environments), even if the ads I get believe that I am a man (ads for drill, viagra, men's clothes, tractors) I don't know if I will manage to change myself and I do not want it especially so I will remain as I am. It is not bad to be yourself in the end and it makes the mental charge smaller (as an autistic and depressed person, I am ultra sensitive to the mental charge).



KitLily
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08 Aug 2023, 11:56 am

Checkbox wrote:
Mentally: Even if men are going to tell me that I have a behavior or reactions of a guy or I have interests as a guy (yes, in a country like France, we still often say things like this and I have worked in male environments), even if the ads I get believe that I am a man (ads for drill, viagra, men's clothes, tractors) I don't know if I will manage to change myself and I do not want it especially so I will remain as I am. It is not bad to be yourself in the end and it makes the mental charge smaller (as an autistic and depressed person, I am ultra sensitive to the mental charge).


It's strange when men say that about us. Usually because I have 'men's interests' i.e. sport, they are delighted to find a woman who knows what they are talking about. Some men feel threatened but there are enough who are delighted.

e.g. online some guys mock me and say 'get back to the kitchen' when I talk about motor racing. But other guys leap to my defence so that is nice.


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08 Aug 2023, 12:14 pm

It's really cool that you didn't just meet some idiots on your way. Would you like to meet women with the same interests or not at all? I have not found forums suitable for my interests and I don’t know if I would find any kind of pleasure in doing so because I am someone very self-centered and do not feel the need to share my interests ... but I think I’d be able to doorslam and leave after any sexist remarks because I have become quite uncompromising for this kind of thing.



KitLily
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09 Aug 2023, 4:26 am

Checkbox wrote:
It's really cool that you didn't just meet some idiots on your way. Would you like to meet women with the same interests or not at all? I have not found forums suitable for my interests and I don’t know if I would find any kind of pleasure in doing so because I am someone very self-centered and do not feel the need to share my interests ... but I think I’d be able to doorslam and leave after any sexist remarks because I have become quite uncompromising for this kind of thing.


Are you talking to me?

I have met other women with an interest in motorsport, there are quite a lot of us and we stick together against the tidal wave of misogynist men. Although to be fair most male motorsport fans are normal and treat us politely. It's just the odd few who are horrible.

But it depends what social media you use. Facebook and Xitter are pretty bad for misogyny but dedicated sports forums with mods tend to be more welcoming. I was on a brilliant one a few years ago, we had a lot of fun, but due to the rise of social media, it closed down.


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Cornflake
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09 Aug 2023, 6:56 am

 ! Cornflake wrote:
  
Several posts have been removed.


Genders. It's pretty simple really; a matter of common decency and respect for others.

What harm is caused when you refer to someone as "he", or "her", or "them" - if that's what they've requested?
What breaks, what pain is caused, what can you no longer do that you once could - just by referring to someone using the gender terms they requested?
Why should their choice of terminology be denied, attacked, ridiculed or mocked?

You don't agree with it? Oh boo-hoo, cry me a river.
You want to describe why you don't believe it and want to promote denials, attacks and mockery of the words or those who choose to use them?
Simple. Post somewhere other than WP.

Transphobia: Transphobia consists of negative attitudes, feelings, or actions towards transgender people or transness in general. Transphobia can include fear, aversion, hatred, violence or anger towards people who do not conform to social gender expectations. Transphobia is a type of prejudice and discrimination, similar to racism and sexism.

Transphobia is also a fundamental site rule break and will not be tolerated on WP.
  


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KitLily
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09 Aug 2023, 8:11 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It’s a shame there’s not enough time in a school day for sociology and philosophy classes. I think they would go a long way in promoting understanding and tolerance.


I agree!


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Misslizard
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09 Aug 2023, 5:22 pm

Rally is awesome.
Rather see that than go to the mall and shop.


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KitLily
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10 Aug 2023, 3:38 am

Misslizard wrote:
Rally is awesome.
Rather see that than go to the mall and shop.


Oh do you like rallying? It is indeed much better than shopping.


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