Do you have a type?

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I’m referring to appearance.

I’ve not dated that many people, but physically, the people I’ve dated were each very different from each other. In other words, I’m not attracted to a specific type.

Body: very overweight - stereotypical perfect male body with muscles and chiseled abs (meh)

Height: 5’5 - 6’4

Race: white and black

Thing they had in common: keen sense of humor

Appearance, no.
Certain other factors, absolutely and non-negotiably yes.

For me it's not a type of appearance, it's just whether I feel attracted to a man physically. It's like when looking at objects in a store, you like some things enough to want to buy them, while other things not so much. Some objects you have preferences for, like preferring dark brown tables to light brown tables, but other things may just catch your eye, like a nice clock or something, even if it doesn't go with any of the rooms in your house you still may buy it because you just like the look of it. You could show it to your friend and she could think "oh, I don't like that clock myself".

Stupid analogy but hopefully you get the picture.

I do like men who look more like individuals than trendy. Most men in their 30s seem to look the same, with a neatly trimmed beard and not quite balding yet. I prefer men in their 50s and 60s, who are (most) balding and either have no beard at all or an untidy stubble around their face (although I prefer men with completely shaved faces but I don't mind an unkempt beard that's growing back but obviously not like Santa Claus). I also tend to go for overweight guys, particularly with beer bellies. This is because they feel like huge cuddly teddy bears you can snuggle up to and they make you feel warm and safe.

When it comes to how people look, I have no type whatsoever. My middle daughter comments on that now and then as my taste in people seems to be all over the place. I don't care how someone looks though. I care about compatibility. Over the last few years I've come to understand that I'm some kind of aspec. I never have felt literal physical attraction to anyone before. So yeah, of course looks don't matter to me. I kinda feel bad for people who do experience that stuff...seems like it would be really limiting where relationships are concerned.

as long as they take care of themselves like i take care of me. other than that, they gotta be as into me as i am into them.

ultimately they gotta be on the same or similar frequency.

*but hims likes hims fuzzyface*

Personality:

Broken, vulnerable, a bit of a misfit --- e.g., Neurodiverse or some sort of emotional burden.
Into music. Ideally my kind of music.
Countercultural -- not your average bear.
Must love animals.
Consistency and Integrity -- whatever their belief system is, they stick with it.


Looks:

Bald, or dark hair, or messy hair, or long hair like a rocker.
Facial hair - sure - but not necessary.
Glasses are good but not necessary.
I don't care about muscles but if he could kill people as needed, that's a plus.
Tatts are nice too. -- Just not all over.

I look more at a man's hands than his face.
I don't have a "type" for hands. I just know them when I see them.

Clothes - Casual. Tshirts, jeans, etc.
Cleans up really well in a tux.

I'm into people who dress similarly to me and listen to the same or similar music as me. Ideally with a hot body as well.

Intelligent and well-informed.

Being short and chubby or curvy doesn't hurt.

Being fully honest I've noticed the guys and girls I'm usually attracted to IRL are either Latino or Asian. Though I think those groups of people just have traits I find attractive, and it's not like I find them attractive because they're Latino or Asian. I'm always hesitant to admit that though because that's such a stereotypical white guy thing to say. lmaooo

I also noticed I tend to like "nerdy" guys, but that might just be because half of the ones I meet make my Autidar go off and also 95% of my friends have been geeks/nerds/whatever.

@auntblabby - I like my beard and 'stache, not gonna shave it off for anybody