Former aquaintance adding me on Facebook

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Though I had left a previous synagogue a number of years ago and cut off most of the people due to them being toxic and controlling, one of them recently sent me a friend request and so I added her.

However, I am noticing that she has not really reached out to me since and asked me how I am doing. In the past, she has been someone who has seemed like she likes me but tends to play hot and cold. While we have gotten along, at no time did she ever make the effort to invite me to do things with her. Yet, she seemed to make time for other people in that synagogue. She also said yes to coming to celebrate my birthday one time but had bailed on me at the last minute stating that he back hurt. However, she is neurodiverse and is a good person in a lot of ways.

What do you guys think?

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 16 Jun 2023, 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

They don't sound like a good friend to me

What are your thoughts about her on Fakebook

Nothing wrong with having some friendly acquaintances who aren't close friends. Sounds like she wants to include you in her friendship network, but not as a potential close friend. I see nothing wrong with this, as long as you're both on the same page about the nature of your acquaintanceship, and as long as she hasn't done anything seriously bad to you.

So I see no reason to refuse a friend request unless you use Facebook to share a lot of private personal stuff that you want only close friends to see.

Well she hasn’t seemed to reach out via messenger and find out how I am doing.

But, as far as you are aware, has she done anything actively bad, such as insulting you or spreading malicious gossip about you?

Not being as actively friendly as you would like is not the same thing as being harmful, hostile, or deceitful.

I think the acquaintance was only looking for another "Like" or "Facebook Friend", and not a real relationship.

I was on FB "religiously" from when I first signed up in '08 until 2016, then again only in private groups from '17 to '19. (I didn't have access to a device for a year) Only TWO people in my "friends" list contacted me in that year, to see what happened, 2 people I've never met in person, only "knew" them through FB. None of my former classmates, friends from work, nor my family ever contacted me. A former GF tried to "re-friend" me about 5 years after we split, but I was still too bitter to consider it. Around 2020 and Covid, 3 other people from what was now my "former life" contacted me, but by then I was so distraught over my situation that I did not want anything to do with FB, or anybody I used to know, merely by association.

Why am I saying all that? To me, it helps to know that there ARE people out there who can be your friend... but you will know who by how they treat you through the worst of things. Also, FB is a "crapshoot"... you may or may not nurture lasting relationships there... if you can even stand it.

When I added her on FB, I didn’t have a good feeling about it. As I said, she made it clear that I was at the bottom of her list when I attended her synagogue. I don’t really want to talk about them anymore.

As for the synagogue that she attends, that group has a bunch of goofy ideas. They were also incredibly cold.