What people want from a friend! A revelation!

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I read that there are different types of friends- e.g. some for going out partying, some for doing hobbies with, some for mutual support etc.

I suppose I used to have those in my teens and twenties.

But I've been isolated for decades now so I actually don't know how to interact with humans anymore, apart from my immediate family. When I watch shows on TV or even real life situations, I view them like nature documentaries but about human behaviour, and marvel at the interactions.

I've never really had a crowd of friends. I did for a little while when I was at college but some of them bullied me or ignored me so I guess they didn't turn out to be proper friends.

The only group of friends I really have who I'm definitely a part of and who accept me as I am is my family. I know they'll always be my friends.

I fit in OK at work I suppose, and have a little social life there but I don't see them outside of work, only one but both me and my boyfriend are friends with him and his wife. But fitting in at work is important and so I'm thankful about it. I fitted in at my previous job too.
The only time I don't feel I fit in is when there's a few people around my age who make plans to do social activities outside work with each other and I never get invited, which hurts. But when I'm working around a diverse group of people of different ages and mostly have families and friends that aren't work colleagues, I fit in better.

Once you get to a certain age I think probably most people's social circle is limited to family and colleagues. That's of course if you don't have a job or family and then that's different.

Personally, that's what worries me. My friends mean the world to me. They offer a sense of community. I feel like I belong and that I can be myself. Yet I'm also aware that I won't have that forever and it's going to be a difficult adjustment.

Oh I get that too! All the time. I'm never invited along. I decided if this ever happens again, I'll say 'oh that sounds like fun, where are we meeting and what time?' and see what they say! If they mumble something uncomfortably or if they give me the details.

I wouldn't actually go! But I just want to test what their reaction would be.

...which explains why I have no social life! I work alone at home so I only socialise with my husband and daughter.

Oh Lost Dragon, do your utmost to keep in touch with your friends! They are so precious!

I wish I'd done that with my friends but they drifted away and I didn't realise how hard making friends would be as I got older.

Dunno about "most people," but that's certainly not true for everyone. For example, religious people have their friends from church/synagogue/mosque/temple/whatever. People active in organized subcultures such as the LGBTQ+ community can have friends there. Ditto for fandoms and other hobby-oriented social scenes.


Hopefully you'll soon be able to (as you mentioned here) move to a city, where hopefully there's an active lesbian social scene where you can find friends as well as a lover. Hopefully the city will have something like an "LGBT Community Center" where lots of different kinds of groups meet. Dunno how old you are, but if you're over 40 by the time you finally move, you might want to look into a group like SAGE, as well as any other groups that interest you.

Fortunately, my friends decided to make an online chat to keep us all connected. It's quite well organised, we even have a virtual board where we post job postings we've seen (that may be of interest to members who are job hunting). Along with sections for casual conversation, and a special section for meet up / hanging out plans. We know it can be difficult to find work, so we like to have a section for keeping up with industry news.

I'm currently 24. Yeah, I'm hoping that my plan will work out. I definitely feel like my life is elsewhere. Personally, I met my friends at University in the city. There was an official LGBT group, but it wasn't any good so we essentially made our own group instead. It started out as a hobby group, the vast majority of us are avid gamers and / or game developers. However, many of us are also gay or bisexual. It was difficult going back home after university ended; I had very much built a network and a life there.

Lost Dragon you sound like my daughter. That's one of the reasons we're moving to a more urban area- a better social life for our daughter with hopefully an active LGBT scene. We don't want her growing up in a tiny, prejudiced village.

Again, pleeeeeeease keep in touch with your friends. They are SO IMPORTANT as time passes and your life changes. Don't end up like me in your 50s wondering where your friends went and knowing you won't make any more...

Does the U.K. have an organization similar to PFLAG here in the U.S.A.? If so, it might be a place for you to find some new friends too when you move to a more urban area.

It might do. I think organisations in the UK are more local and random. There might be a local PFLAG type group just for that county. We are moving to a town near a city so hopefully. This little village is hopeless