Hi, I'm ArnoldMal.

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I was referred here by an ASD specialist at a program at my local university. I'm 41 and just found out I'm autistic three months ago. It happened because I started individual therapy and an online program for survivors of narcissistic abuse after my recent romantic relationship. While in an individual session, I told the psychologist, "I know I'm different. I've looked through the personality disorders in the DSM over 10 times, and I don't think I relate to any of them. What is wrong with me?" She basically said that I wont find myself in the personality disorders, but that I seem like a highly sensitive person, and that I should look into that further. Within about a month (special interest power!!), I started to figure out the autism thing, and sought an official evaluation. We completed the ADOS-2 Module 4 and Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale. The results are that my mind/brain is consistent with autism and ADHD.

I never knew much about autism until then, just that I thought the autistic people I knew were really cool and had the best toys. Learning about autism, and interestingly about neurotypicals, has been quite insightful. Soooooo much is starting to make sense. Apparently, it's pretty obvious to others that I'm autistic. Pairing autism with a history of emotional abuse, I've committed to forming a personal revolution. Basically, I'm 41 years old realizing I'm autistic and a narcissist magnet, so I'm learning to live from scratch so that I can navigate and engage with the world in a safe manner. I'm learning how to perceive, think, believe, trust, relate...it's a lot of fundamentals that the rest of life is built on, but I'm happy I finally know where I'm at so that I can get a sense of direction and aim toward a fulfilling direction.

The purpose for joining is to get some sort of healthy socialization going, have people I can ask for guidance, and start feeling included in a community where I'm accepted how I am without blame.

Fun fact: My username is a nickname my ex-family gave me. We're Hispanic, while I'm the first American. When read quickly, "Arnold Mal" sounds like they are calling me "abnormal", which is Spanish for "mentally ill". The point of the nickname is that I'm American and am abnormal according to them. I'm appropriating the term because (1) I am abnormal compared to the people that would call someone abnormal, and (2) that's a good thing.

Bienvenidos a Planeta Equivacado!

I'm half-Hispanic.

Two paternal uncles (both white) say that the spectrum isn't real, that the only way for a man to truly "man up" is to join the US Armed Forces immediately after graduating from high school and that the only way for a woman to truly be happy is to settle down before doing anything else in her life, which IMO is just wrong.

I've been on the spectrum since I was 13.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP! I hope you find some useful conversations here.

Hi ArnoldMal,
I still have to make a proper introduction but your post was telling my story so much I had to reply. In November, being dumped by a boyfriend I realized, reading books, he was a covert narcissistic. Then I understood I was a magnet for narcissistic people, as you mention. And reading more books, I thought I was an HSP, though there were some things that didn’t align at all with my personality as a child. Recently a young AS friend suggested that I was an Aspie. I started reading books and watching videos and all made sense! I need an official diagnosis. But yes, I have to thank that narcissist if I finally discovered who I really am. Needless to say, I decided to stay away from narcissistic people, males or females. They suck my energy!

Welcome to WrongPlanet

welcome! Diagnosed at age 68, what a relief to finally make sense of all the years before. Glad you are with us, you are among others who will understand!

"Arnold Mal" welcome to the site. There is so much more to learn about us and our condition. So keep on digging and then dig deeper and deeper and deeper. We have many layers. Believe in yourself.

Hope you enjoy your time here ! and welcome Arnold not mal for this type of planet .
Glad your journey of discover is paying off for your future .