This is the end as my decision has been made

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Sorry i haven't posted in a while, my life has gotten much much worse, now, the only family member i was actually considered close to is basically dying, my mother, and my father isnt far behind and my sister is moving up north with her family. I have decided to end my life, im ready to die, nothing in my life has ever been good, i have never know even a second of happiness or worth. All i have ever wanted, was to just have a girlfriend, to feel wanted by another, but now i know that will never happen. Some people get opertunities and chances and have friends, and some people dont get anything, life is very unfair and my soul drew the short straw. I wont be seeking help, tonight will be my last night, even as i write this tears of relief fall from my face, the thought of this curse of a life finally ending gives me such a feeling of relief, jt overwhelms me. Tonight i will end my life quickly that way i wont have to be afraid as it will be quick and painless. I knew when i came here that it was just another scream for help in a darkness that would never allow it to work. Thank u all for trying to help me but i am ready to rest, i am ready for the extreme lonliness and isolation to end.

If you decide at the last minute to seek help: Have you ever tried contacting the Louisiana Autism Society? Perhaps they might be able to refer you to someone who can help you find whatever local resources you need?

I'm very sorry to hear that your mother is dying.

I hope you are still here with us.

Im still, here, but am filled with hatred for life and anger to demonic levels, people keep saying pray or go to jesus. f**k jesus i hate him, he allowed me to be born with the satanic curse autism, on top of that, I got scammed out 250 usd today by a dating scammer, I feel so hurt and have grown such unimaginable hate for life itself that I just want to burn down the gates of heaven and take revenge on god for making me with such a curse like autism. 37 years old, no friend, never been kissed, and so desperate for a girlfriend that I am seriously thinking about making a deal with the devil himself reguardless of the consequences. The only thing I want is to feel wanted, like I matter to someone, I spend over 1000 on dating sites a month, trying to find someone, with similar interest, I put up good photos, decent profile and message people i think ill like who are similar interest or i match with only to be reminded, i am not even worth messaging, sitting here crying as i type this wishing i had a gun to just get rid of this stupid fu**ing trash of a existance god cursed me with. I am tired of being so lonly and isolated, i tried getting group help and yet all it did was make me more angry having to sit and listen to others sob story made me want to explode like a MOAb. I even tried getting an escorrt just to spend some time with someone, anyone and almost got arested, i wouldnt care if the demon of lust showed up, at least its someone to talk to, i cry uncontrolably constantly begging for some kind of socialization and I cant take it anymore, I just want to die, it to end, I dont even want help anymore I am tired, burnt out, if this is what life is like than f**k life.

Why did listening to "others sob story" make you angry?

Anyhow, dating apps are NOT a good way for most heterosexual men to meet women, given that women are far less likely than men to use dating apps.

First of all, I cannot even begin to imagine what you are doing through and we hear you. Just also know that we are here for you as well.

Regarding friends, have you ever looked into Best Buddies International? They can pair you up with another peer who take you out.

Another option in making friends would include start making friends with the person who you see in the mirror everyday. That person on the other side has everything in common with you. So if you feel lonely, you may start talking to him and invite him to do all of your favorite things together.