Proving Anita and other naysayers wrong about Marriage!

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People think I will never get married because of my disability and my immaturity

Even worse I keep getting compared to a certain blue-eyed dress shoes wearing cartoon character

(Full disclosure: I am of course talking about SpongeBob SquarePants)

Anita said to me on Facebook Messenger that I should just be happy with having friends who care about me instead of a romantic relationship much like SpongeBob

This is demoralizing and demeaning!

She is basically saying I am too immature for lifetime commitments!

Does she not realize that THIS IS WHAT I TRULY DESIRE?

What happens if in the Netflix Sandy Cheeks movie or the 5th theatrical film SpongeBob SquarePants FINALLY gets married?

Will that get the naysayers to shut up about me never getting married?

I feel it is my mission to prove Anita and everyone else wrong!! !

What do you guys think?

Congratulations on your impending nuptials.

No I'm not engaged yet

But it could happen and I feel it HAS to happen in order to prove Anita & other naysayers wrong!

^ That’s not a great reason to get married. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what you think.

I would suggest that you look for autistic adult support groups and social groups in your area on Meetup.com. If you live in the U.S.A. (but outside the NYC area), I would also suggest googling to see if there is an Autism Society chapter in your area, and, if so, whether it has an autistic adult support group.

Don't go there for the sole purpose of finding a husband, but the group will almost certainly give you opportunities to meet some autistic men, at least some of whom would probably love to meet autistic women.

Also there are some autistic dating sites/apps you might want to try, such as Hiki.


If/when you get married, it should be solely for your own sake, not for the purpose of proving anything to anyone else.

If other people are annoying you with comments about your marital status, I would suggest that you just ask those people to stop discussing the subject with you. If you don't choose to discuss the subject with them, then it's really none of their business.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 02 Aug 2023, 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Give it time.

I was always the 'loser friend' at school and university. I never had a boyfriend, I was always a mess. My friends always had to sort out my problems, they and my mum never thought I'd every get married or leave home.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 22, and it went horrifically wrong, a terrible mess that left both of us very wounded (emotionally I mean)

I was seen as a complete mess, the eternal spinster, I'd never make anything of myself.

Then one day I met a man in the most unlikely place, we started going out and eventually got married and had a child. So if it can happen to me, 'the loser friend least likely to do anything with her life,' it can happen to anyone in the world.

My so called friends and my mum had their noses severely put out of joint, because they'd seen me as a waste of space and thought it was so unlikely I'd ever get married, let alone have a child. Many were jealous and spiteful, but I left them behind.

It is satisfying to prove people wrong. You'll see!

Great advice as usuale.
Lots of people probably thought I was too disabled & too immature to be married. Or maybe it was more like they thought I was too disabled & too immature for them. I've been living with my current girlfriend for 10 & a half years now & we woulda gotten married a long time ago if we weren't both disabled because marriage would screw up benefits. She has a lot of similar issues I have so we really relate & connect. For what it's worth OP I woulda been interested if you were posting this on here 12 years ago when I was single so there's probably various guys who would be interested in marrying a woman like you. In general there tends to be a lot more autistic guys interested in relationships with autistic women than the other way around maybe due to autism being diagnosed 4x more in men. Perhaps this is because I'm from an area with more traditional gender roles & women tending to get paid a lot less than men for equal work but it seems like lots of guys are very willing to date & marry disabled & immature women if the women handle the household chores. You were a caretaker for your mom OP & those skills might be very handy for managing a household.

Please PLEASE PLEASE let me get married soon!! !

I cannot take my brother anymore

I concur with Mona

Though I don't know if what you are saying your friend was implying is necessarily accurate. I can't say for sure as I don't know her or know the entire context. It may be she is concerned that you may be placing your life's happiness on getting married. There are plenty of unhappily married people. Being able to be happy on your own and have good healthy friendships are paramount for ones inner strength, health, and well being. Moreover, it is a helpful aspect to have when trying to cultivate a healthy romantic relationship.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting to full fill your dream and making steps toward it. "If there is a will, there is a way" or so they say. Just maybe consider that people may not be naysaying your dream, but are trying to express care and concern.

What you are saying makes sense

Maybe Anita & other naysayers think I might fall in love with and marry the WRONG man and they just want me to be cautious & vigilant in my search for my soulmate

However, they and my brother cannot stop me from love and marriage because it is 100% MY decision!

Also, why did Anita compare me to SpongeBob SquarePants?

If I could just get some insight into why she said that it might give me more clarity on why she feels I will never get married!

BTW The ones saying this stuff like Anita, Cathy and Glenn are all married

I don't know if that changes anything though

As for possible reasons why Anita would compare me to SpongeBob:

-He is not married
-He is a kid-at-heart
-He doesn't know how to drive
-He doesn't know how to swim
-He has friends and people who care about him

But there is ONE thing SpongeBob SquarePants has that I don't...a job!

Oh and his own house

I am working on all of this stuff but it's a work-in-progress

I guess there are worse cartoon characters and characters in general to be compared to but it just feels like she thinks I will NEVER get married because I'm like SpongeBob

What Anita is saying is that I should just be happy having friends who care about me as an alternative to a romantic relationship

However she doesn't realize that SpongeBob SquarePants almost got married (the episode "Truth or Square")

If it is possible for him then it is possible for me too!! !

I can create what Anita has with Phil and their 2 kids or Glenn and Maureen

I eventually want children but only through a surrogate because I'm scared of childbirth and labor

But you know what?

I can still achieve my goals without Anita or anybody else's support!! !

Because ultimately it's all in my hands!

Anita will no longer naysay my dreams or goals because I would have ALREADY ACHIEVED those goals

She thinks I will never get married or become famous

Well guess what?

I will see you on the TV, movie screen, radio and at my wedding!! !

This is the Optimist's Way of Thinking

I swear watching SpongeBob SquarePants has changed or altered my dispositional state...