Stop the world --- I want to get off!

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My life sucks! No, I'm not suicidal at age 78. No, I'm not being pathetic and feeling sorry for myself. I've been ruminating on my past life, and it really does suck. The sad thing about it is that I know it's me and I accept responsibility for it. I was diagnosed late in life ---two years ago--- with autism. Yes it answers many questions, but nonetheless doesn't negate a lifetime of negativity since childhood. I really feel I've wasted my life. I can remember my elementary school teacher, Mrs. Fink taking me to one side and saying" You could be a great leader". I've always blown my chances by saying or doing dumb-ass wrong things. I was always the biggest in my class right into my first and only year of college. Would you believe a teacher training college? What was I thinking! You may have guessed I am an Asperger on the spectrum. Ok, ok it's now an unused word. I was able fob my inferior self off throughout my life via masking without ever knowing or understanding why. I was able to join the U.S.A.F. This was not some patriotic altruism but instead a move of self preservation out of necessity to avoid the draft into the U.S. Army, and being sent to fight in the Vietnam conflict. Dear reader, each step of the way in my life beginning with my homelife in a disfunctional family, has been negative. I even got busted one stripe in the Air Force---doing something stupid! without boring you with any further disasters, here I am ready to disappear up my own ass with one foot already in the grave.

Welcome to WP!

And thank you for your service...and that is in no way changed by you doing it to avoid being drafted into the Army. I am also a USAF veteran, in part because I thought it would suit me better than getting drafted and end up as a ground soldier in Viet Nam. I also did it to get some education...and to get some work I thought I'd like.

How did you land in the U.K.?

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

welcome