You're absolutely right that the outside world is extraverted--American culture values boisterousness, competition (even for attention), and the advantages of "knowing someone who knows someone" who can do something for you, perhaps for le$$.
I'm an ambivert who's very comfortable staying in her wonderful home, and I suspect that at least some people go along with the pressure to conform to extraversion--even if they have to fake it. General "wisdom" (it's not) says you can't be a good leader, a star, or a top earner otherwise. Some think introverts lack something, that they're inherently deficient and need to be "fixed."
As Jakki implied (I think), the Achilles heel of extraverts was displayed in a blazing neon light during the pandemic, when they entirely lost their s**t because bars and restaurants were closed. Meanwhile, introverts and ambiverts shook their heads. In my case, I was nauseated that people couldn't keep in mind all those who were sick and dying, couldn't count their own blessings, and couldn't take any comfort in peace and quiet. How revealing was all that?
While some people may never understand or accept the many perfectly valid reasons people may have for not hosting something in their own home, others can at least be made more aware of how solitary downtime is actually a good thing.
If your friends can understand that you value them--and especially their kind intention to include you--but also appreciate time to yourself, perhaps they will come to see you're not rejecting them. If they are socially/psychologically unaware and take it personally anyway, know that it's not really about you. An invitation is not a summons, though some people think of it that way.
This article might help:
https://introvertdear.com/news/introver ... saying-no/
27 Aug 2023, 10:37 am
