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how does a man with AS get a girlfriend?

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RetroGamer87
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23 Sep 2023, 5:26 pm

MaxE wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Practice good hygiene and grooming.  Dress well.  Go places where people gather.  Mingle.  Observe how they interact, but don't stare.  Smile.  Make friends.  Speak well, but do not dominate conversations.  Be honest.  Make small talk and avoid taking sides in heated discussions.  Buy the next round when it's your turn.  Avoid loud people.  Broaden your standards -- no one is perfect.

Probably a lot more to it, but this should get you started.

To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?


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MaxE
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25 Sep 2023, 6:32 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Practice good hygiene and grooming.  Dress well.  Go places where people gather.  Mingle.  Observe how they interact, but don't stare.  Smile.  Make friends.  Speak well, but do not dominate conversations.  Be honest.  Make small talk and avoid taking sides in heated discussions.  Buy the next round when it's your turn.  Avoid loud people.  Broaden your standards -- no one is perfect.

Probably a lot more to it, but this should get you started.

To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?

I think most Americans would understand this. There's a general understanding that a great many black women, often with children, are lonely. As to why, I suggest you Google the topic. I hope there is some material to explain.


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TwilightPrincess
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25 Sep 2023, 7:09 am

People might want to avoid unnecessarily limiting their options based on superficial characteristics. Seeking out specific demographics because they are perceived by some to be more lonely is not a good idea in my opinion.

There are lots of lonely people who want partners in any subset of the population.


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blitzkrieg
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25 Sep 2023, 8:06 am

Black women are definitely not a downgrade! There are people that even prefer interracial dating to same ethnicity dating.



WantToHaveALife
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25 Sep 2023, 1:03 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
well i made that comment because its a depressing irritating reminder how cases like this are male dominated, as in, people who are 30+ or 40+ and have been alone, single their whole lives, are mostly male, even guys, men, who don't have bad attitudes

The only reason I can see that it would be better if this problem had a more even gender distribution is those experiencing it could pair up with each other.

We can acknowledge the reality, but spending a lot of time focusing on the imbalanced gender ratio of those who are chronically single gets us nowhere in terms of making things better for anyone.

Though we should account for differences in dating standards and expectations for the genders, the central focus should be on how people who are experiencing pain can be helped.

If people are troubled, we should want them to be doing better regardless of gender.


Ya, there are times i wish never read this article, wish i never stumbled upon it:

https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43956366



TwilightPrincess
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25 Sep 2023, 1:09 pm

Maybe you should consider reading something else to take your mind off of it. There are lots of good books to choose from.


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blitzkrieg
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25 Sep 2023, 1:49 pm

There are more books than there is time to read all of them, by a very large margin.

Books can be difficult to keep up with, even if a person chooses to read only those they are interested in.



Jamesy
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25 Sep 2023, 3:17 pm

Having a friendship group helps

Back in 2007 at college my best friend tried to set me up with a girl but I was such a picky idiot back then that I rejected her. Still until this day I have had never had a proper girlfriend.



RetroGamer87
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25 Sep 2023, 5:20 pm

MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Practice good hygiene and grooming.  Dress well.  Go places where people gather.  Mingle.  Observe how they interact, but don't stare.  Smile.  Make friends.  Speak well, but do not dominate conversations.  Be honest.  Make small talk and avoid taking sides in heated discussions.  Buy the next round when it's your turn.  Avoid loud people.  Broaden your standards -- no one is perfect.

Probably a lot more to it, but this should get you started.

To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?

I think most Americans would understand this. There's a general understanding that a great many black women, often with children, are lonely. As to why, I suggest you Google the topic. I hope there is some material to explain.

Which search terms should I use to gain an American understanding?


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TwilightPrincess
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25 Sep 2023, 5:42 pm

^ A person can find anecdotes to support just about any position online.


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WantToHaveALife
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26 Sep 2023, 12:03 am

basically improve his social skills a lot, because mans social skills impact his ability to attract women a lot more than the other way around.



Jamesy
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26 Sep 2023, 6:02 am

Nothing in life is straightforward. Well actually maybe it is more straightforward if your a woman in the dating game.



MaxE
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26 Sep 2023, 6:12 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Practice good hygiene and grooming.  Dress well.  Go places where people gather.  Mingle.  Observe how they interact, but don't stare.  Smile.  Make friends.  Speak well, but do not dominate conversations.  Be honest.  Make small talk and avoid taking sides in heated discussions.  Buy the next round when it's your turn.  Avoid loud people.  Broaden your standards -- no one is perfect.

Probably a lot more to it, but this should get you started.

To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?

I think most Americans would understand this. There's a general understanding that a great many black women, often with children, are lonely. As to why, I suggest you Google the topic. I hope there is some material to explain.

Which search terms should I use to gain an American understanding?

Not sure why you have a bee in your bonnet over this. Please excuse me if this question strikes me as somewhat disingenuous, but for you I'd recommend including "America" or "US" because of your geographic location.


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uncommondenominator
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26 Sep 2023, 7:27 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Practice good hygiene and grooming.  Dress well.  Go places where people gather.  Mingle.  Observe how they interact, but don't stare.  Smile.  Make friends.  Speak well, but do not dominate conversations.  Be honest.  Make small talk and avoid taking sides in heated discussions.  Buy the next round when it's your turn.  Avoid loud people.  Broaden your standards -- no one is perfect.

Probably a lot more to it, but this should get you started.

To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?

I think most Americans would understand this. There's a general understanding that a great many black women, often with children, are lonely. As to why, I suggest you Google the topic. I hope there is some material to explain.

Which search terms should I use to gain an American understanding?


I have a suspicion that the "understanding" that's being hinted at, is the casually racist "American" narrative that black men are "dead-beat dads", players / cheaters / thugs, or otherwise "criminally" undesirable - and therefore black women (especially ones with kids) would be more eager to accept a White Savior to step in and be something "better".

Do please correct me if I am mistaken - but the unwillingness to elaborate, in favor of defensiveness and tight-lipped suggestions to "go look it up", seems to indicate an awareness of the questionable nature of the implication.



MaxE
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26 Sep 2023, 7:47 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
To put it bluntly, you should consider dating women who are obese, and if you're white consider black women. There are many lonely black women your age.

If you want more advice, I suggest you reveal more about yourself. Do you have a job, a car? Where (roughly) do you live?

You make it sound dating black women is a downgrade. I never had a plan to exclude black women in the first place. Have you seen how pretty some of them are?

I think most Americans would understand this. There's a general understanding that a great many black women, often with children, are lonely. As to why, I suggest you Google the topic. I hope there is some material to explain.

Which search terms should I use to gain an American understanding?


I have a suspicion that the "understanding" that's being hinted at, is the casually racist "American" narrative that black men are "dead-beat dads", players / cheaters / thugs, or otherwise "criminally" undesirable - and therefore black women (especially ones with kids) would be more eager to accept a White Savior to step in and be something "better".

Do please correct me if I am mistaken - but the unwillingness to elaborate, in favor of defensiveness and tight-lipped suggestions to "go look it up", seems to indicate an awareness of the questionable nature of the implication.

Feel free to think what you want. You either get it or you don't. I would characterize what you said as a half-truth but please go on.


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uncommondenominator
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26 Sep 2023, 7:51 am

MaxE wrote:
Feel free to think what you want. You either get it or you don't. I would characterize what you said as a half-truth but please go on.


More reluctance to elaborate. Funny that...

I would much rather YOU "please go on". Tell us more.

Rather than simply "think what I want", I'd much rather have you clarify what you mean.

If it's a "half-truth", which half is true in your eyes?

You're the one proposing the idea. Don't be shy about it now.