Is it as simple as this to get a girlfriend?

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Jamesy
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19 Oct 2023, 1:28 pm

If your an autistic guy in college and say your best friend tries to set you up with a girl in your social group. Well would there be more introductory steps to get through that would still make it harder to establish a romantic relationship even after your mate hooks you up?



TwilightPrincess
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19 Oct 2023, 1:29 pm

I don’t understand what you’re asking.


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Jamesy
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19 Oct 2023, 1:35 pm

Okay what I am asking basically is getting a girlfriend straightforward if you’re a guy on the spectrum who has friends?



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19 Oct 2023, 2:13 pm

You do realize that there are a lot of variables, right? Every woman is different.


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19 Oct 2023, 2:28 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Okay what I am asking basically is getting a girlfriend straightforward if you’re a guy on the spectrum who has friends?


It purely depends on the individuals involved, it can be straightforward, it can also be extremely difficult, especially if you have social communication problems.


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Raleigh
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19 Oct 2023, 2:40 pm

Nothing is ever that simple.
Your friend may set up a date but you still need be attractive enough upon closer aquaintance for the girl to consider you boyfriend material


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Jamesy
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19 Oct 2023, 2:42 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Nothing is ever that simple.
Your friend may set up a date but you still need be attractive enough upon closer aquaintance for the girl to consider you boyfriend material



What do you mean closer acquaintance?



Raleigh
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19 Oct 2023, 2:46 pm

Well you might seem ok on the surface, but when you start dating she might discover you have obsessive thoughts about how tall men are, for example, and this may be off-putting. :wink:


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Jamesy
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19 Oct 2023, 2:48 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Well you might seem ok on the surface, but when you start dating she might discover you have obsessive thoughts about how tall men are, for example, and this may be off-putting. :wink:



I am comftable in my own skin but it’s true that men under average height are at a disadvantage in dating.



Raleigh
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19 Oct 2023, 2:49 pm

Closer aquaintance is 'getting to know you better', usually the time when she's deciding if she can picture you as a potential boyfriend or not.


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Jamesy
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19 Oct 2023, 2:55 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Closer aquaintance is 'getting to know you better', usually the time when she's deciding if she can picture you as a potential boyfriend or not.



Is this step easier if your a woman when a guy is picturing you as a potential girlfriend?



goldfish21
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03 Nov 2023, 1:06 pm

No, it is not as simple as that.

Whether NT or ASD, if a friend introduces you to a girl that doesn't automatically mean she's going to like you and instantly decide to date you.

You would still have to be someone she was interested in dating, work your own charm, impress her, ask her out & get her to agree to go on a date with you etc etc just the same as any other potential new relationship.

The only part made easy is the introduction by a friend who knows you both to some degree and thinks you might be a match. That's it. It just bypasses the step of breaking the ice yourself, introducing yourself to a potential date, starting a conversation that then leads to interest in a date. So, it makes it slightly easier, but definitely not an automatic gimme.


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goldfish21
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03 Nov 2023, 1:09 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
Closer aquaintance is 'getting to know you better', usually the time when she's deciding if she can picture you as a potential boyfriend or not.



Is this step easier if your a woman when a guy is picturing you as a potential girlfriend?

Debatable. It's probably similar, however, traditionally it's men who pursue women and women who have the option of rejecting them vs. the other way around or a mutual 50/50. But times change and I think it's more mutual these days than one sided.


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04 Nov 2023, 9:37 pm

Something like this happened to me when I was about 20. Me & my best friend from high-school chatted a bit on an instant message program & he introduced me on there to a girl he knew. He knew her offline but I don't think they told me how they knew each other. I kinda assumed they met online 1st & looking back now I kinda suspect they might have went out briefly &/or hooked up but IDK :shrug: Anyways... I did meet her offline 1ce with my friend but I was so G-d@mn dense then that I actually did not realize I was being set up till we met :oops: :wall: I was not exactly seeking a relationship at the time thou I was open to the idea but she was concerned about how shy & nervous I was so we never progressed beyond friendship :(

Shortly after that I met my 1st girlfriend online & we had things in common & really connected & she told me she liked me 1st. I was wanting another relationship after we broke up but the other girl was engaged to someone then :shrug: She quit using the instant message program after that. My friend was busy with college & I was depressed & needy so he didn't chat with me much & we lost touch. I was trying to get another relationship for 8 years before I got my 2nd one. I'm suddenly wondering what woulda happened if me & her had met a year & a half later :chin:


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Nades
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05 Nov 2023, 9:14 am

Jamesy wrote:
Okay what I am asking basically is getting a girlfriend straightforward if you’re a guy on the spectrum who has friends?


With extrovert and very approachable friends then sex, yes........ girlfriend on the other hand, probably not.

Girlfriend and a fling partner can get cloudy depending on how you look at it.



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05 Nov 2023, 9:22 am

Having a girlfriend is overrated.