Miscommunication with my line manager

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So this Sunday I am supposed to be going out for a surprise for my 30th birthday with family and friends. So I asked for a day off and my line manager said she would fill in a form for me. I only found out that I miscommunicated with her as she has roted me in that day. I put a request on the work group chat that I have my shift swapped or covered that day. I begged again today when I didn’t get the response I wanted. My line manager said she would look at the rota and get back to me. I said I needed it off badly and she made feel such a twat afterwards as she asked I fillled out a form and I said I thought she said she had done it for me and she replied that it’s not her responsibility and I said that I didn’t know that I asked if anyone from a nearby site can cover and she said she will ask but hasn’t got back to me since. So does this mean that I am not going to get what I want?

I am fed up of trying to figure out what neurotypical people want from me and expecting me to use my initiative. I am sick and tired of employers expecting autistic employees to get on with tasks with having to figure out where everything is and with poor instructions too. The work group chat is a waste of time as no one takes any notice of things on there.

I am a housekeeper on a 16 hour contract and I work either on Saturday or Sunday or a full weekend and I have 3 or 2 days in the week. I feel they are taking advantage of me by making me work every weekend and if I am on duty and someone has to work on both floors it’s usually me.

Two neurotypical employees only work weekdays. One is in her late 40s and has kids so that’s fair enough however the younger one is 20 and the older woman treats her like her daughter and I believe the 20 year old only works weekdays because her colleague does as well. My line manager lets them work together. They get preferential treatment. So do two younger boys who are weekenders. It’s like best friends get preferential treatment. Another colleague is gutted because a colleague who left and they worked together. This makes me very jealous and left out.

I am not looking forward to work tomorrow. I have a lot on my mind at the moment and do I get empathy? No! Right now I want to kill myself. I shouldn’t have to keep explaining myself to people and how I am different, etc. People can believe what they want to believe but I’ve had enough.

Last edited by Aspergers445 on 30 Oct 2023, 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, this is very common. We often end up working on holidays and weekends.
And this leads to bosses expected to cover for them whenever they make mistakes!

I think all we can do is do our best and look for better situations.

I got tired of my boss messing up and expecting me to cover for him so I retired early!
I have plenty saved so I don't need to money.

Sadly, autistic employees being taken advantage of by bosses is all too common. And if you complain they will usually backstab you and put it down to your disorder, the very disorder that makes you a good employee in many cases.

This is what upsets me the most. The autistic employee being gaslighted by their manager just because of their lack of understanding of autism and Asperger Syndrome. They just put you down as being a drama queen and making stuff up. I really should move on and find something better but what could I do? And it could be worse.

Last edited by Aspergers445 on 30 Oct 2023, 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Trouble is we do everything we can and bosses still expect more from us. I don’t blame you for taking early retirement. It was probably for the best. I have miscommunicated with my manager before and her excuse is usually ‘oh I did tell you before’ or ‘you should have listened more carefully’. Plus housekeeping is a hard job as they expect you be thorough and work like robots (work quickly) and I struggle to keep up the pace because of my autism and I’m like so you expect us to work slow and make rooms look perfect or rush madly and make them look like crap?

And if you do a rush job on that 1 you would tire yourself out and get overloaded and 2 do a poor job anyway. It is like that you couldn't win. So no wonder you feel the way you so. I had similar experiences with the neurotypical person who came into our self advocacy group and tried all the making me feel I couldn't do any right and the other people had no problem with my work. Often I see that NTs fail to get us and you're right they did blame us and it is not our fault that we aren't allistic. Often that can have when trying to look someone in the eye as in the usual job interview thing which means losing out on auditory processing. And if you can't do it as quick as the allistic/neurotypical colleagues it isn't your fault. Especially when you have to get up early morning and having to face work with the masking as well doesn't help. I hope this helps.

I think we all have to look out for ourselves.

It is like driving a car and having to watch how much gas we have left in the tank when we go somewhere new. We need to make sure we don't run out of gas in a strange place. Working is the same way. If we are working for someone who doesn't understand us this is like going to new a different places all the time. We need to have enough energy to meet the requests we know we are going to get because they don't understand us.

I have a similar boss. It's not about working on holidays or weekens, but I think different about doing my work in an efficient way.
He thinks, my office should be at the 3rd floor. The big copying machine/printer at the 1st. So when I must copy or print something, I must go down two floors and then get the machine started. But in the meantime I can't walk away. There is a certain chance of a paper jam or the input trays are empty very soon, and must be refilled after 1,000 sheets of paper. I propose him to move the copying machine to my office, but he refused. If it would be moved to my office, I can do other things at the same time. I have a multitasking mindset.

In a different building there is giant copying machine (I call that machine a copying giant or a copying monster). It can copy very fast, must be refilled after 6,000 or 10,000 sheets and paper jams are rare. I proposed to him: "What if I move my office to the buidling where that copying monster is?" He: "Not going to happen. You will stay here."

And there are other time consuming issues. He wants to find me a solution if a proplem arises. But instead, I want to find a solution that will work for all future copying and printing tasks. And he doesn't allow me to use 4 or 5 copying machines at the same time, because they are also spreaded over the building where I work. With 5 copying machines I can work 5 times faster than with one.

I found the same working on web pages. At home I'd use three computers and get things done quickly. I could VPN into our network with one for editing and use another to see what the customer saw from the outside. There was stuff I couldn't see from inside the network due to permissions issues! But, he needed me to be in the building to pick up phone calls and transfer them to the appropriate people because the switchboard couldn't always do that!

At work I'd have just one computer with a little monitor. At home I have three 24 inch monitors.

God what do you neurotypicals think we are octopuses? Robots?