I have been contemplating ideas on and off for ages now about a work of fiction, which involves a dare devil character who is not entire indifferent to Australian actor Paul Fenech (from Fat Pizza). He can be very rude, abrupt. But at the same time, has a non toxic side which can be discovered. He's in his early to mid 30s now. Unexpectedly, he encounters this female from hell in which folks ultimately learn that they really don't want to be around her one by one. She's comparable to Eleanor Abernathy from the Simpsons. But doesn't throw innocent felines at strangers. Instead she expresses herself in a different manner, when you least expect it. And she's masochistic. There was also a character like this one in Blue Heelers in season 12, who became Kelly O'rourke's worst nightmare for a short period. She was one of my favourites, despite only appearing for less than 5 episodes.
It is typical of me to go through a phase where writing is the last thing on my mind. As the thoughts recirculate unpredictably in my head, and I veer off target from what I was actually intending to think about at a second's notice, Then I again get sort of fixated on this concept. It usually occurs in the evening, which coincides with the time I used to do it years ago, when living with others was not just a memory which is getting blurrier ever day.
I was quite 'satisfied' with the level of detail and intelligence within the paragraphs, as well as the humour. Since something went haywire (see my introductory post on WP), my confidence has not been the same, and I feel like the thoughts which are detrimental are justified. There are sounds, settings, and moods which trigger my desire to write. One is an old metro bus which still gets around as of today, with the weirdest fleet number imaginable. It's engine note makes me think of an open paddock in the countryside in the warmer months, with the sun low in the sky, and the grass as it it transitions from yellow to orange, before darkness sets in. There may be roosters, or wild animals there. But there is no emphasis on such. I don't even know where this bus is in the setting.
It is very difficult for me to refresh on what I intended to type before the previous paragraph. But I am not entirely dissatisfied at what is minimum content in there right now. I suspect it is ADHD that is hindering the process. The sky may be the limit with this idea. But I don't want it to rust away. My highly unpredictable memory has still managed to retain many of the written and visual aspects in regards to this project, despite the fact that I can't even remember what somebody said two sentences ago in a convo. It's not really something to complain about I guess. It may even be ok for relieving anxiety at times.
Now, many many words later, here's a point. I can't get past the odd scene, I have no structure in place, no stem of occurrences, and I am concerned that I may forget integral factors/plot elements along the way to the point where it ruins it. It almost scares me, re the concept of doing even a 5000 word novella. But the number of words in the drafts/mini-scenes gets close to that of a chapter. I tend to see it as a 20 billion word scourge/nightmare. Where as it will be as long as I wish it to be. I can only describe it as a 3d model being 10 times out of scale, despite it only being a leaf on a tree or something similar. I have no idea what constitutes a word count essentially, and my perceptions are possibly badly distorted . I struggle to put a sequence of events together, and when I manage to, I think of a variation, which sees previous occurrences get altered, with a flow on effect that is like a 5005 x 5005 rubiks cube to me. That is the number of another bus in this state. I wonder if it has two driving ends (I couldn't resist).
Anyhow, if I think of more things to add, then maybe I will. I try to persevere to the end. I'm not one to throw in the towel easily.
Any advice/suggestions would be appreciated. Took me about 45 minutes to type this post/review it etc.
01 Nov 2023, 7:36 am
