Just about every time I pay someone a comment

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Summer_Twilight
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14 Nov 2023, 11:40 am

I normally like to pay comments to people and even ones who I don't know. Whether it's their clothes or if I see them getting their picture taken for graduation. What happens is when I make the compliments, they say thank you and then as soon as I walk away, I hear them quietly comment

1. Mocking what I said to their friends
2. They quietly tell others, " I don't like her"
3. On a few occasions, I have been called the B word.
What am I saying or doing that are making these individuals feel offended



GreenVelvetWorm
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14 Nov 2023, 9:12 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I normally like to pay comments to people and even ones who I don't know. Whether it's their clothes or if I see them getting their picture taken for graduation. What happens is when I make the compliments, they say thank you and then as soon as I walk away, I hear them quietly comment

1. Mocking what I said to their friends
2. They quietly tell others, " I don't like her"
3. On a few occasions, I have been called the B word.
What am I saying or doing that are making these individuals feel offended


I don't think this has happened to me, and I can't think of many reasons why people would respond like that (especially calling you a b**** for saying something nice). Usually people like receiving compliments

The most likely thing I can think of is that something is making your compliments sound sarcastic. It could be your voice, your wording, or your body language.

Here are some things that could indicate sarcasm to them:

A flat, emotionless sounding voice

Overly effusive or enthusiastic language (eg. "Wow, that hat is the greatest thing I've ever seen" instead of "I really like that hat")

Use of the word "nice" (this is a weird one, but for some demographics saying something like "nice haircut" in a certain tone is automatically considered sarcastic)

A lack of a smile, or an accidentally angry looking face (some people describe this as "resting b**** face"- basically some people's faces look mean even when they aren't trying to be)



Mona Pereth
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14 Nov 2023, 11:56 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
What am I saying or doing that are making these individuals feel offended

Is there anyone whom you know in person whom you can trust?

If so, you could probably get better answers from that person than from us. We can't observe how you are saying the compliments.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Nov 2023, 4:18 pm

Hi Mona:
Yes I do. I will reach out to them and see what they think