How to know if a mostly non-verbal disabled man wants to be

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 767
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

16 Nov 2023, 10:55 pm

Your friend or ask you on a date?

There is this guy at Day Program named Jesse and he is constantly holding my hand and kissed me recently, once on the cheek & on my hand

He is mostly non-verbal and has hearing problems but I am getting the impression based on his behavior around me that he either wants to be my friend or take me on a date!

But how can I know for sure?

I would have to rely on social cues and his mannerisms to have 100% clarity without him being able to articulate his thoughts


_________________
"You have never experienced true love but that doesn't mean you won't EVER find it!" -SpongeBob SquarePants


DirkGently69
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 899
Location: Australia

17 Nov 2023, 5:59 am

I thought it was another guy you were interested in?



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,685
Location: Chez Quis

17 Nov 2023, 7:41 am

You'll know for sure if he asks you on a date.

If he's nonspeaking he must have a communication device or a support person.

He will make it clear.

You don't need to do anything in the meantime to find out what he's thinking.


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 767
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

17 Nov 2023, 2:38 pm

DirkGently69 wrote:
I thought it was another guy you were interested in?


I like them both


_________________
"You have never experienced true love but that doesn't mean you won't EVER find it!" -SpongeBob SquarePants


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

18 Nov 2023, 8:39 am

If he's mostly nonverbal due to hearing problems or other issues he must have some way to communicate like in writing or typing/texting. If he is not capable of that then he's not really capable of having a relationship since relationships require some kinda communication.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


AquaineBay
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,019
Location: Houston, Texas

18 Nov 2023, 6:05 pm

From the comment you made OP, I would maybe hold off on dating and concentrate on social skills and social boundaries. I don't know how long you've known this guy but, constantly holding hands and especially kissing someone is usually considered actions done between someone you are already in a romantic relationship with(or someone you met and you both talked and decided to go the route of romantic relationship) NOT someone with whom you have no idea where you stand relationship wise. I suggest the same to the guy you mentioned because if he doesn't understand general social boundaries, that can potentially get him in legal trouble...

I suggest this because considering you don't know the relationship status and the guy is holding your hand and kissing you, that gives me the impression that you may lack social boundaries(and knowing the difference between acquaintance, friend, and a romantic interest.) which is dangerous because a guy may take advantage of you. For Jesse, he may not know that what he is doing is socially inappropriate in general and maybe practice his social skills as well before trying to pursue a romantic relationship.


_________________
Autism is a disorder not a personality trait!

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference."


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

18 Nov 2023, 6:25 pm

I thought to add that he might be very shy & doesn't know the right way to express intrest or is too nervous to directly communicate it. However if that's the case he should be able to communicate that in some way if you were to directly ask him OP.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition