Autistic boyfriend cheated accidentally

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The fundamentalproblem here is a lack of trust. You now find it difficult to trust him for whatever reason. Without trust a relationship probably won't last (I believe it can't) so if you want it to continue you need to find a way to rebuild trust.

There are options for that but they need to be things you both agree to and do together.

^^ What she needs to do is entirely up to her. We don’t know her boyfriend or how drunk he was to give a definitive answer one way or the other. It sounds like it may have been nonconsensual to me, though.

^^your point is valid. I should say if op wants to move forward with him then they need to take steps to rebuild trust. If she didn't then there is no need to involve him.

Regardless of what happened and who's fault it was the act resulted in a lack of trust. This have been triggered by many different things with the same result. The OP seems like she wants to move forward and if that is the case the long term effect of the loss of trust needs to be addressed.

Just my two cents though, she can take or leave my opinion because that is just what it is an opinion.

There are men on here advising her that she needs to watch out for this guy. I would think you of all people would appreciate that.

I had no clue what to call this thread at all. I tried explaining it in the intial post but it obviously came out wrong. I told our friends the same thing about rape but all i got was he wasn't ready to speak about it. No one can tell because he's shut down and stopped really speaking to everyone. Small things here and there but keeps taking full blame for something that wasn't in his character at all. I met him when he had a gf already and he was very committed to her before they broke up because she couldn't handle his ptsd issues. Its also not the first time he's gotten plastered with his coworkers before that consist of male and females.

The one he slept with was new and she was crushing on him hard after only knowing him 3 weeks . All she was was a pretty face and great body who was friendly. She literally knows 0 about his personal issues and the things he's had to overcome this year with the death of 2 people he loved and hasn't even really grieved properly. He's anti therapy and i been trying to get him to go for a long time and this just set him back from even listening to anyone now about it.

That's really tough. Do you think that he's self-medicating with alcohol in general or does it happen infrequently? It sounds like he really needs to seek treatment for his PTSD, but that's something he needs to want to do. It could be triggering for someone with PTSD if they feel like they're being forced into therapy or whatever.

I absolutely never pressure him. I always ask him to consider things if its something that makes him uncomfortable. I always make sure he understands i accept him as he is, but maybe talking to a professional can help him with his stress and sadness. He's snipped at me before about it which is fine. I never take offense to it as i know he hates anything related to that topic. I dont ask him weekly or anything just randomly mention it every few months.

I have given him his space and just wait for him to send me anything when he feels like it. I sent him a reminder of how we used to communication with music clips to listen to based on our feelings atm as that's our thing and he's sent one back. I know i just have to be patient, it was just hard for me at the beginning because i was stressed out when he was missing and then after found trying to shove everyone away without even speaking about it.

Either way everything is fine as it can be now. I am pretty sure we'll end up going back to friends as i don't think he'll be able to handle anything more than that which is fine.

I didn't mean to imply that you were pressuring him. I was just thinking out loud.

It IS possible that he's currently not ready for a relationship. There's no shame in deciding that it's too much for you, too.