17 Jan 2024, 5:42 pm
Yugoslav1945
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17 Jan 2024, 11:29 pm
18 Jan 2024, 1:11 am
Yugoslav1945
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Location: Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia
18 Jan 2024, 1:22 am
cyberdad wrote:
Yugoslav1945 wrote:
I'd be lucky if they were still somehow standing still after all of my venting out at them.
Yeah I also vented at my friend. In retrospect he was so patient with me. His last words to me is that he could call me anytime that he didn't hate me. I did call him several months later but I felt a tension in our conversation. If I persisted and demonstrated I was legit regretful I might have been able to salvage our friendship and redeemed myself in his eyes. But I couldn't exert the effort needed.
His friendship was the most honest, mature friendships I ever had. I only realised that much later,
And that might as well affect me in the future... 
goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:11 pm
There's a difference between preferences and being bigoted.
It's fine if you prefer not to date a trans person. Almost no one cares about that.
It's not fine to hate people for being trans, or to feel uncomfortable being around them, or to say rude/mean/nasty/insulting things to them for being trans etc. Trans people are people and deserving of not only tolerance, but Acceptance.
This is the same for race/skin colour, religion etc. Almost no one cares if you prefer not to partner with someone you're not attracted to as a partner for whatever your own personal reasons are, but there's no reason to think or act negatively towards someone simply because they don't fit the criteria of someone you would date or partner with.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.21 Jan 2024, 10:25 pm
goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:26 pm
Yugoslav1945 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
I think that if people have awareness of their mindset they are usually capable of changing it.
What I am aware of makes me more worried than ever. The fact that I am "isolating" myself from most of the community because of my preferences is what makes me aware. If I were to change my mindset, well I might never even pursue for a relationship and I'd be a dead loner who has tried to make history but never got the recognition in life he desired for.
But no more. I can't let this "gender warfare" attack me no more. It's all a distraction by the rich to let them exploit me. That is what I am aware of and I will defend myself against the capitalist system that tries to purposefully exploit me and use my loneliness for their gains.
What "gender warfare"?
How is this some distraction by the rich to exploit you ? who is capitalising off of your loneliness? Literally: Who is making money because you're lonely? None of this makes any sense whatsoever.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:28 pm
Yugoslav1945 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
No one is saying that you have to pursue a romantic relationship with a person who is trans. They are saying that you should avoid venting about it to trans friends because it gives the impression that you are transphobic. Do you see what I mean?
I see. Then I shouldn't be around trans people. It's better that they live peacefully without me because whenever I thought about my female friend being trans, it often caused sensory meltdowns simply because I could not comprehend how unaware and helpless I felt. The greater problem is that they're my classmate and I don't wanna be suspended because of my inability to properly react as it is caused by my autism.
You shouldn't be around trans people because they don't deserve your terrible attitude towards them for simply existing. If you act inappropriately towards your classmate for being trans then you deserve to be suspended or expelled.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:32 pm
Yugoslav1945 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
All I am saying is that it is hard. Why not try again with your friend. Don't lose them over a misunderstanding.
The wheel barrows are not big enough to carry all of my frustration and anger at the inability to handle trans people! Why has no one taught me this before hand? Why has no one approached me beforehand? 18 years of my life and now's the time for a change? Sure I am aware of what has this caused but to try to even accept the change is an impossible task. Every time I think of them as male it gives me emotional pain because it tells me that I am nothing but a transphobic freak because my stupid autism caused me to label them deliberately as a girl until it was too late for me to get rid of the female image of them.
I'd be lucky if they were still somehow standing still after all of my venting out at them.
1. You didn't know they were trans until they told you. So what? Now you know. Big deal.
2. Why would you vent at them at all?
For what?
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:36 pm
cyberdad wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Almost no one cares if you prefer not to partner with someone you're not attracted to as a partner for whatever your own personal reasons are, but there's no reason to think or act negatively towards someone simply because they don't fit the criteria of someone you would date or partner with.
I was watching a podcast where a group of 20 something year old women posed the question to a group of young men on whether they would date a transgender woman. As you would guess the young men responded immaturely putting their fingers down their throat and feigned gagging noises.
The girls responded by calling the men transphobic for not wanting to date a trans woman. This completely caught the men by surprise that this was now expected of them to not have a preference? I wonder if this will evolve into a generational thing with the latest generation?
They can have a preference without being rude, though.
Personally, I don't like the attitude that some people have that everyone should be equally open to everyone else as a potential date/partner/sex partner etc. Um, no. Some people are attracted to certain types and that's that. Full stop. IMO.
But there's a difference between saying that, No, you wouldn't date a trans woman and making rude gestures and gagging noises. So, those girls were right to label that behaviour as transphobic, because it was.
There will likely be a much improved generational acceptance both as friends and romantic partners. Hopefully we've already reached and surpassed peak trans-women getting murdered for being trans.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
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21 Jan 2024, 10:40 pm
Yugoslav1945 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
All I am saying is that it is hard. Why not try again with your friend. Don't lose them over a misunderstanding.
The wheel barrows are not big enough to carry all of my frustration and anger at the inability to handle trans people! Why has no one taught me this before hand? Why has no one approached me beforehand? 18 years of my life and now's the time for a change? Sure I am aware of what has this caused but to try to even accept the change is an impossible task. Every time I think of them as male it gives me emotional pain because it tells me that I am nothing but a transphobic freak because my stupid autism caused me to label them deliberately as a girl until it was too late for me to get rid of the female image of them.
I'd be lucky if they were still somehow standing still after all of my venting out at them.
While 18 years is 100% of your lifespan to date, it's only 20% or so your actual lifespan. You'd better still be learning and growing, you're still quite young. People don't turn 18 and then know everything they're going to know in life. Why would you Not expect to still be learning new things about life and people and how to behave?
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.22 Jan 2024, 1:48 am
goldfish21 wrote:
They can have a preference without being rude, though.
Personally, I don't like the attitude that some people have that everyone should be equally open to everyone else as a potential date/partner/sex partner etc. Um, no. Some people are attracted to certain types and that's that. Full stop. IMO.
But there's a difference between saying that, No, you wouldn't date a trans woman and making rude gestures and gagging noises. So, those girls were right to label that behaviour as transphobic, because it was.
There will likely be a much improved generational acceptance both as friends and romantic partners. Hopefully we've already reached and surpassed peak trans-women getting murdered for being trans.
Personally, I don't like the attitude that some people have that everyone should be equally open to everyone else as a potential date/partner/sex partner etc. Um, no. Some people are attracted to certain types and that's that. Full stop. IMO.
But there's a difference between saying that, No, you wouldn't date a trans woman and making rude gestures and gagging noises. So, those girls were right to label that behaviour as transphobic, because it was.
There will likely be a much improved generational acceptance both as friends and romantic partners. Hopefully we've already reached and surpassed peak trans-women getting murdered for being trans.
I think the demonisation of trans women happened during the Jerry Springer era where it was a common theme of really "male looking" trans women fooling (catfishing) straight men into sleeping with them. It was all fake but likely damaged the trans movement.
I personally think there are beautiful trans women, I saw plenty in Malaysia and Singapore who were incredibly beautiful. There's also mainstream actors like the trans actress Hunter Schafer in Euphoria who are really pretty
Last edited by cyberdad on 22 Jan 2024, 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
22 Jan 2024, 1:52 am
Troy Sivan also looks hot as a girl
22 Jan 2024, 8:58 am
But the topic isn't hot trans women. 
Yugoslav1945
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23 Jan 2024, 11:24 am
Cornflake wrote:
But the topic isn't hot trans women.
Good point. Moving on to the actual topic. It has been about a week since the structure came down between me and them. We are now indifferent. I have decided for myself that enough is enough and that I shouldn't bother myself worrying about if someone is trans or not. Instead I'll continue looking for a non-trans neurodivergent girl who will understand me. My preferences are unchanged!
Yugoslav1945
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23 Jan 2024, 11:27 am
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