FB post that bothered me

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I think you make a very good point.

The reality is that most NT parents have no idea what their ND child is going through. They apply parenting that they observed from their own parents on themselves. We are not equipped for this but we try our best to understand our children. It's hard to keep reminding myself what's in my child's best interest?

^
I've seen a mixture of parenting styles. Some seem to respect the kid, others don't. I'm not sure why some folks bother to have children in the first place. I guess traditionally it was so they'd have somebody to work on the farm for nothing, and to look after them in their dotage. But perhaps I'm being a tad too harsh.

It is definitely difficult. Parenting is never easy no matter what kind of child you have. That is why I think it is so important for the parents to do whatever they can to learn from ND adults. We should do everything we can to work together for the benefit of all. That is why I hate those memes and stupid shirts and things like that. All they do is alienate us from each other and cause tension.

I found it and I read it. I was looking for autism mom pee cards on YouTube. My mum could have said those same things about me and yes, my mum still cuts my tags out of my shirts. I still think that she should have been more careful. She's making a huge deal out of being an autism mom.

I imagine when the human population fell to about 40 individuals around 100,000 years ago if our ancestors asked this question you and I might not be here to talk about this.

I think Mona Pereth also said that special education for autistic kids should be handled by adults on the spectrum. I agree this makes sense as adults on the spectrum have insights that NT education staff are unaware of. Unfortunately in all the years I have been dealing with teachers, therapists, aides and other education related staff, not one has been on the spectrum.

I'm the single AS parent of 2 kids (1 AS), and I would never post anything potentially humiliating about them online. It's despicable.

Yeah, I accidentally wrote pee cards!

I guess in a sense I understand being a parent of someone with a disability becoming an identity of sorts, and possibly involving some sense of community if they connect with other parents of autistic children.

I also agree that making posts about every little thing you do for your disabled child is virtue signaling, and that privacy should be respected.

Like I've seen people post videos on tiktok and stuff about their journeys with their kid's disability, or part of it. There was one of a toddler who was going to have a leg amputated, and the video was of them going to Build-a-Bear to get him a teddy bear who was missing a leg too. I thought the video was wholesome, but is it actually a bad thing? I'm curious if others have thoughts on it.


I work at a grocery store and see people come through with autism shirts sometimes, like they'll have the puzzle pieces and say stuff like "autism awareness" and "I'll advocate for you until you have the ability to speak for yourself" and I'm just like..... A for effort I guess, but they have no idea

I think it has to do with the intent and a lot of times the vibe of the intent comes through. Going to Build A Bear for an Amputee Bear is really cool. I love that. And even shirts that promote Autism awareness or Autism acceptance, I am fine with those. Even the puzzle piece doesn't bother me even though I very much respect the controversy behind it and I very much respect how anyone chooses to feel about it.

What I can't tolerate are people who make it a point to express in a very in your face way, how incredibly difficult and traumatizing it is to have a disabled person in their lives. I understand that it is difficult and I respect that. I understand that it can even be traumatizing and I respect that as well and I have a lot of compassion for that. But to parade it on memes and shirts and paraphernalia so that entire world sees that you are some kind of martyr superhero because you have to have the burden of raising or caring for a disabled person, like you are some kind of victim who has to overcome super herculean odds in order to survive your Autistic child, that to me, I find really distasteful.

That makes a lot of sense, thanks for clarifying No disabled person should be made to feel like a burden

For me I wish this was the case, unfortunately it's not. Parents of autistic kids are pretty much the same as any other parents. If their child is "higher functioning" than mine then they don't want their kid hanging around my daughter. The kids also tend to self-select with other kids more like them. Parents of kids who are struggling to function in society (I hate the term low-functioning) are too stressed and exhausted to socialise/mix. Looking after these kids is a full time job.

Ah, so kinda like how my disabled stepdad (paralyzed and had serious chronic medical issues) required basically 24/7 care. We had nurse aides and I think that's the only reason we were able to get out of the house.

Kind of like that. Depends on the functional level of the child (and how many kids you have). Unfortunately most parents don't have the luxury of support like carers or aides at home to look after a child so it ends up being one or both of the parents.