When autism is more obvious in some than others!
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,548
Location: Long Island, New York
I worry that even worse, people will think I'm one of those many individuals on TikSchlock who are self-diagnosed and "think" they're autistic when they're really just being stupid and cringy. I worry they won't understand that I still have challenges even if I am (ugh) high functioning. And I HATE being misunderstood.
Enough autism to be considered weird, Not enough autism so you are still expected to suck it up and deal with it. The bane of a lot of members' existence.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
I got diagnosed at 56 on my own initiative after working for 20 years alongside psychologists and doctors. And I am a man. During that time I have listened to female coworkers mainsplaining me on "how autistic people think and function" and "women's ability to mask". Some people like me have what it takes to mask to a high level, maybe statistically the number of women is higher in this group but on the other hand some women mask to a really low degree. I'd say forget about women versus men and think of people as high- versus low-maskers instead. My personal theory is that people with a high social intelligence are able, and feel motivated, to mask to a high degree.
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English is not my first language.
I'm male and I've been told that I hide my autism quite well, though it's hard for me to know how I do it, because I think I was "hiding" it long before I was diagnosed.
I suppose part of the reason is that I probably don't have very strong ASD. And I noticed things about my social behaviour that I could see weren't likely to make me popular, e.g. a rather monotonous and mumbly voice which I heard on tape recordings and disliked, and therefore worked on giving it a more attractive and easy-to-follow intonation. Also I noticed I had a bad habit of data-dumping, so I worked on tempering that, as it seemed obvious that it would bore people just like it bored me when anybody banged on about some topic I had no particular interest in. I never saw any of this as hiding anything, just the natural result of wanting to become a more acceptable person, of wanting to learn and grow.
But I don't know how those examples would lead to any particular theory. I guess I just happen to have enough neurotypicality to be able to get the occasional glimpse of what I'm doing wrong.
I've been told by some that they already clocked me as autistic. Mostly when I was younger, before I learned the social skills I have now, I think.
These days? Well, one of my coworkers said she can hardly tell I'm autistic and can autism really be that mild, etc. I said yes, it can, especially when we get older and learn how to hide things better.
Autism isn't obvious in some people simply because the traits are broad and varied and range from mild to severe. For me, I've learned a lot of social skills to compensate for my shortcomings. I'm still a bit socially odd and I've been told I'm quirky. But I "pass" as neurotypical fairly easily at this point in my life.
My other traits have become more mild with age as well. I used to have extreme hyperfixations.... these days I'm just a bit more obsessive than most people. It's to a lesser degree.
My stimming may look odd, but most people aren't going to clock you as autistic just based on that.
And people tend to not believe me when I say I have sensory issues and meltdowns.
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ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)
Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD
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Iris.Ell
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Feb 2024
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Switzerland
This is a very good question. Would make a god research topic
In my experience I can say it is how strong is your need to fit in and how much you care about how others see you and the desire to fill in the gaps.
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"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone"
Blaise Pascal, Pensées (Thoughts)
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