chronic fatigue

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chronically fatigued 13-40 (current)

21 officially diagnosed clinically depressed and aspergers

3 years 3 months and counting, been working about 30 hours a week part time, home depot, lot attendant. rain, thunder, lightning, hail. almost get hit by cars a couple times a day. off leash dogs. in the middle of a homeless encampment. ghettoass coworkers. loud and rude customers. s**t.

often go for months on end without having a conversation. march 2020, counseling clinic has been closed, due to coronavirus. it only takes phone calls now. i phoned a couple times and it wasn't the same as "in person" counseling.

earning minimum wage. not enough for rent, utilities, groceries, health insurance.

usually sleep 9pm to 5am, but have trouble falling or staying asleep.

on days off, usually 3 hours after waking up, nap.

was on prozac, zoloft, and a couple other SSRIs.

24-26 and 36-current, testosterone to transition to male.

zero children, single, parents dead. one sister, lives fifteen miles away from me. she is married with children.

live alone

zero "friends".

previous "friends":

had the nerve to tape record me without my knowledge or consent.
had the nerve to say "huh" and "what" instead of "excuse me".
judgmental ("you are smart").
knew me for 12 years and still didn't know me well enough.
had the nerve to keep flaking on me, sometimes with 2 hours notice or no notice whatsoever.
kept interrupting when i said something, but she had nothing original or awesome to say. amy talked way too much too.

I love the way you express what your life is like in your posts. It's like reading poetry.

I can almost see the grim reality of it all.

I don't really have any solutions or advice though but I just wanted you to know you are valued

just to clarify, is partly the reason you posted this to find supplements such as caffeine to help you stay alert?

I've done some looking around the past years and have a list

1. amino mix
2. Acetyl-l-carnatine
3. glycine
4. choline
5. creatine
6. rosemary
7. kutaj herb
8. robuvit
9. coffeefruit
10. gluconorolactone
11. energy drinks (Tenzin, monster, eboost etc)
12. teas: matcha, yerba mate
13. turmeric with black pepper
14. Vitamin D/multi B

to clarify, robuvit is a patented extract of red oak trees.