I wouldn't survive dating in 2024

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On Friends, the apartment where Chandler and Joey lived was a bit more modest than then one where Monica and Rachel lived. Although Chandler had a good job, Joey mostly didn't, so it's unclear how they could afford it. Monica's apartment was actually said to be a rent-controlled apartment that had been her grandmother's (or something like that) because it was so preposterous that they could afford to live there that they had to make an excuse for it in the storyline. It was not realistic for any of the characters in Friends to afford their apartments in Manhattan, even in the 90s.

This is the norm for TV shows. The characters nearly always live much more comfortably than they actually could if they were real people in the same circumstances and with the same jobs.

But as far as dating... I think it's true that the options that existed before dating sites still exist, but young people seem to have lost the habit of just hanging out. This limits the options for casually meeting friends of friends and finding a potential partner in that way.

I can't imagine using a dating site, but I also can't imagine going through the formal process of "dating" where one goes to a series of meetings over dinner or whatever else in order to evaluate a potential partner. That seems very formal, artificial, and kind of heartless (by being so overt about evaluating a person as if they were applying for a job, and putting oneself in that same position). Personally, I have never gone on such dates.

I met my high school boyfriend at school. I met my first serious partner in college, where we had classes together. I met my next short-term partner at a bar, but it was a bar that people I knew (from volunteering) frequented regularly and he was a friend of a friend. I met my next serious partner at a community center where we were both volunteers. (I highly recommend joining a ready-made community, whether at a volunteering center, an activist group, a theater group, etc.). I never thought I would meet anyone again, but I just recently got together with a new partner I met at a small party, who is a friend of friends. I say this as examples of how to possibly meet someone without "dating."

^Plus dating is slow and time-consuming

I've never been on a date. I just meet people spontaneously and end up with them.

I know that's not everyones scene though.

Dating seems a bit of a faff to me

I've had a couple of interesting dates. Not successful ones, mind you, but certainly interesting.

Most of my friends are in relationships so I spend a fair amount of my time thirdwheeling...and for some reason giving relationship advice. I don't feel qualified but sure.

Well, you know what they say, the coach never plays.

I'm still getting hit on by women my own age, but only when my wife isn't around.

I think it makes a difference if you go into online dating with a light attitude.

Meeting new people doesn't mean you have to see them as a romantic prospect every time.

Dating can be fun and interesting. And not everyone wants the same thing.

When meeting a person from a dating app, I tend to find out a lot about them first and never assume they are being honest either as safety is very important.

Also a few facetime chats before meeting is useful - it can save time and effort.

The reality is that there are some very dodgy people online and sifting these out is the first goal.

It can also be time consuming if you spend too much time and energy on people who are not right for you.

Effective communication and asking the important questions early on help with some of the above.

So basically it can be fun and exciting, tiring and scary or a waste of time for some. And some find a partner, some don't.

To be fair, Monica’s apartment only had three walls

I'll just say the OP has a point, if what he means has to do with courtship per se, meaning activities associating with finding a partner. I make that distinction because people will say they are "dating" when they are in a long-term relationship but not engaged or married, and even living together.

I will avoid going into details here, but I entered my first relationship the year I turned 21 (technically began the courtship process in winter but wasn't actually together with my first girlfriend until the summer before my 21st birthday). However, I didn't actually ask somebody on a date, in the canonical sense, that led to a relationship, until the year I turned 28. Everything up till then was just some kind of unanticipated encounter. I once posted a brief list of all my relationships and how they started, on WP, but can't find it now. Even that first time I asked somebody on a date, the relationship happened, to a large extent, because we both got drunk and ended up in bed at a time neither had had sex for quite some time. But at that time in my life, I did already have a white collar job, a car, and an apartment (even though I was still struggling with the concept of independent living).

The point being, that at least in my younger years, being able to finance "dating" wasn't really a major factor, and I suspect it's a bigger factor nowadays. Although expectations for that definitely increase with age.

Dating doesn’t need to cost much money. If we’re going to share personal stories, I could talk about my first relationship which was with someone who was still living at home because he couldn’t afford his own place. I was 24. He was 26.

Sample dates that we went on:

1. Getting hoagies at my favorite hoagie shop. Yum! We paid separately - $7 each. We followed it up with a walk at a riverside park.

2. Seeing a movie at a cheap drive-in with or without friends.

3. Hanging out at his house or mine, preferably when family wasn’t home. We watched movies or played video games.

Most poor people I know are in relationships. They may not go to fancy restaurants on dates, but they wouldn’t even expect to. I will say that it might be harder to date someone who has a lot more money than you do because it would be difficult to afford the stuff they’re used to. That could create awkwardness depending on the people involved.

Poor people typically date by hanging out at each other’s houses, mutual friends’ houses, going on walks in parks, eating at inexpensive restaurants - sometimes just on special occasions, bowling or roller skating at cheap places on pay day, etc. It’s really not difficult to have an enjoyable date with little to no money. I’ve done it on many occasions as have, perhaps, the majority of people I’ve known.

Most people in the world are poor, and they still seem to manage to form relationships despite that. Third world countries have high fertility rates. Obviously, they don’t have the same access to birth control or education. Sure, there are different cultural expectations, but there are also different expectations here depending on one’s socioeconomic status.