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Kitty4670
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02 Apr 2024, 9:52 pm

My boyfriend coming to see me in August (my birthday month) It’s first time we will meet in person, I’m sooo excited & scared. I’m scared cuz he said he wants to spend all day with me, he’s staying in USA for a month. I never been alone with a guy in the same room. It’s normal to be sooo excited & scared at the same time?



autisticelders
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03 Apr 2024, 8:10 am

yes, seems completely normal to me.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Apr 2024, 9:55 am

Yes it's very normal to be anxious meeting new people. I'm even a bit anxious around people I know, if I'm with them for an extended period of time. It takes a lot of energy for me to be with people.

I hope it goes well for you. You must be very excited but understandably a little nervous.

When you say he's coming for a month do you mean that you're going to see him every day, or is he also spending time on his own perhaps visiting others or sightseeing by himself?


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ChicagoLiz
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04 Apr 2024, 1:30 pm

Your feelings are normal.

I am concerned, however, that you will be alone with him at your first meeting.

My suggestion is to meet somewhere public at first, and if you do move somewhere private (like your home) make sure someone you trust knows and can be there if you need them.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who prey on those who don't have a lot of experience to know how to protect themselves from a bad situation.

If he really cares about you, he'll understand why you need to go slowly at first to get to know him in person. If he gets impatient or even angry, then you know you are not truly safe with him.

Do not rush things just because you feel like this is a one-time chance to be together.


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Nades
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04 Apr 2024, 2:32 pm

ChicagoLiz wrote:
Your feelings are normal.

I am concerned, however, that you will be alone with him at your first meeting.

My suggestion is to meet somewhere public at first, and if you do move somewhere private (like your home) make sure someone you trust knows and can be there if you need them.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who prey on those who don't have a lot of experience to know how to protect themselves from a bad situation.

If he really cares about you, he'll understand why you need to go slowly at first to get to know him in person. If he gets impatient or even angry, then you know you are not truly safe with him.

Do not rush things just because you feel like this is a one-time chance to be together.



Fully agree. I only met dates for the first time alone a handful of times and I'm a male.

A lot of predatory men can be filtered out by the mere suggestion of meeting in a public place for the first time.



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04 Apr 2024, 2:49 pm

Based on the circumstances that have been outlined in various threads, caution is certainly warranted.


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bee33
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04 Apr 2024, 5:20 pm

I agree that caution is a good idea, and that meeting up in a public place is the safer option.

You can also suggest that you want to take it slow and only spend a couple of hours together on your first meetup, rather than the whole day.

And yes, your feelings are completely normal.