Being gay vs autistic!

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Your mileage may vary a bit with this one.

My teenage years weren't easy. I was physically bullied, had some chants spread about me, was spat at and called disgusting.

I did mask in a sense that I had a fake boyfriend who was also gay. Unfortunately, the thing about fake relationships... is that your stories need to match. Otherwise people notice and things start to spiral.

I was outed against my will. He was also physically bullied like I was when the truth came into public view.

However, as cliché as it is, things did get better for the both of us. We started new lives in new places.

Unfortunately my last workplace was rather openly homophobic and that wasn't easy. It reminded me of how things used to be and it was like I was looking into my past once more. Felt like I was being wrapped in a scratchy wet heavy blanket.

I wasn't offended. Rather, I just felt like I was the only adult surrounded by a bunch of immature teens cosplaying as adults.

I digress. Jamesy, please don't despair. Life is indeed worth living. We're here for you.

I live in a pretty forgiving area to be openly transgender.
I was the first one to be out at work about five years ago.
I wore skirts when they put in a dress code saying we couldn't wear shorts.
High heels are quite distinctive on lineoleum floors!
I was joined by another T-girl for a few months before I retired.
She is twenty years younger and is out on Facebook!

I live in northern Ohio, so the area is a mixed bag but generally being gay isn't a major deal here these days but years ago it could get you in trouble.

Well, I'll just say at my current workplace, I wouldn't tell anyone that I'm bi.

I have not been screened for autism, so to even try to tell my workplace about that would be odd. I mean, it's not confirmed, I don't even know it for sure. But needless to say I'd still be worried. I currently live in Evangelical/MAGA land.

I'm afraid that the potentially-autistic traits about me are bubbling up from below and that people at my work can see it. Most noticeably recently a consistent sensory issue at work leading me down to near the point of meltdown, and having to run to the restroom when I'm nearing that point. It's happened many, many times.

I want to think that if I had the word, the reason that all of this is happening, they could understand better, but I don't know that that's true (also I don't even know if they would ever consider autism in a woman). I'm likely just being naive. Where I live, I get the vibe that autism is seen as something that is demonic and one needs "deliverance" from.

You can see why maybe I haven't rushed in to get screened.

Let me put it this way: LGBT people are already not supported where I currently live. A state legislator recently said (no exaggeration here) that LGBT people are "filth" that are not wanted in the state. I see little distinction between their thoughts on LGBT people and autistic people here. Considering I'm already bi, already ADHD, already not a church-goer, I'm on enough "lists". I see the writing on the wall. I won't even consider getting tested until I move (which is coming up very soon now, actually), but even still I'm still in the USA, and considering how close we are to the potential of a near-fascistic federal government by early next year I don't want to put myself on more lists.

I am queer and Autistic.

The former was a more of an issue when when I was younger. As Ive grown older the situation has reversed. These days my queer identity barely raises an eyebrow or results in any judgement or problems. Disclosure of my AU identity brings with it much discrimination, disrespect and ignorance.