One man’s experience of a female stalker
I think it is important to point out that the thread is about a man's experience of stalking.
Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.
I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.
I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.
As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.
In this thread, women didn't respond to the news article by calling the male victim (or the OP himself) misogynist, even though the men used this opportunity to call women respondents misandrist ... yet again.
Why is there a double standard?
I think you are assuming a lot here based on the other thread.
In the thread you are referring to, there were dozens of comments by different members (the satire thread for anyone wondering). You don't know which comment I had in mind when interpreting misandry - you might have even concluded that I considered all of the thread to be misandrist (which isn't true).
Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.
I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.
I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.
As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.
When women talk about abuse in other threads, they don’t seem to claim that male victims have it easier. I don’t have a problem as long as we all recognize that all victims experience stigma. It might be of a different nature, but it hinders reporting and getting support for everyone nonetheless. I’m not saying that fewer men don’t report when I say that, but many women don’t either because of shame, victim-blaming, lack of support, and stuff like that.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 27 Apr 2024, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
^^ Where in this thread has a woman been called misandrist?
Misandry was mentioned in the satire thread... have I missed something in this thread?
Last edited by blitzkrieg on 27 Apr 2024, 8:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.
I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.
I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.
As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.
When women talk about abuse in other threads, they don’t seem to claim that male victims have it easier. I don’t have a problem as long as we all recognize that all victims experience stigma. It might be of a different nature, but it hinders reporting and getting support for everyone nonetheless. I’m not saying that fewer men don’t report when I say that, but many women don’t either because of shame, victim-blaming, lack of support, and stuff like that.
I take your point about all genders being possible victims. I don't think anyone would challenge that notion.
Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.
I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.
I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.
As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.
When women talk about abuse in other threads, they don’t seem to claim that male victims have it easier. I don’t have a problem as long as we all recognize that all victims experience stigma. It might be of a different nature, but it hinders reporting and getting support for everyone nonetheless. I’m not saying that fewer men don’t report when I say that, but many women don’t either because of shame, victim-blaming, lack of support, and stuff like that.
I take your point about all genders being possible victims. I don't think anyone would challenge that notion.
That’s not the meaning I was trying to get across in my post. It was that all victims experience stigma.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
Obviously that might feed into a more male-oriented experience for the background context of the thread.
I am sure if there was a woman's thread of a woman's experience of a male stalker, the thread might be more obviously catered to women.
I didn't mean for the thread to be sexist or anything.
As Isabella pointed out, there are seemingly even better/more scholarly threads on abuse which she has linked to.
When women talk about abuse in other threads, they don’t seem to claim that male victims have it easier. I don’t have a problem as long as we all recognize that all victims experience stigma. It might be of a different nature, but it hinders reporting and getting support for everyone nonetheless. I’m not saying that fewer men don’t report when I say that, but many women don’t either because of shame, victim-blaming, lack of support, and stuff like that.
I take your point about all genders being possible victims. I don't think anyone would challenge that notion.
That’s not the meaning I was trying to get across in my post. It was that all victims experience stigma.
I agree that all victims experience stigma.
I'm not triggered at all. I'm just stating the facts here. I gave a few resources for men who experience domestic violence, and I want men to know they're not alone because women care and won't shame them.
I wish it were always the same in reverse. Unfortunately, when women discuss abuse or refer to themselves as "victims", they're often labelled as man-haters or accused of having an ulterior political motive. This simply isn't the case.
Victimhood isn't a contest. There are no winners or losers on this site or in a court of law.
Women on WP have demonstrated empathy for men's issues time and again, only to be dismissed and devalued when they dare to seek empathy for themselves.
The article about a female stalker seems to have been used to prove a point that women aren't trustworthy or that they sometimes frame innocent men. I could be wrong, however. If this is the case, the motivation for this thread would be a disingenuous attempt at baiting women to reply, and calling them misandrist for saying they can relate.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I used to have stalking issues when I was younger. I obviously didn't understand that was what I was doing but I think that whoever was on the other side of my problem (male or female) must have felt pretty intimidated. Stalking is a crime of violence imo and ought to be treated as such
I was also in an extremely volatile and violent relationship for many years where I became the worst possible version of myself. The violence was on both sides. There are no winners in violent relationships
I think men and women deal with these types of things very differently and I think female to male violence is extremely under reported
_________________
We have existence
I'm not triggered at all. I'm just stating the facts here. I gave a few resources for men who experience domestic violence, and I want men to know they're not alone because women care and won't shame them.
I wish it were always the same in reverse. Unfortunately, when women discuss abuse or refer to themselves as "victims", they're often labelled as man-haters or accused of having an ulterior political motive. This simply isn't the case.
Victimhood isn't a contest. There are no winners or losers on this site or in a court of law.
Women on WP have demonstrated empathy for men's issues time and again, only to be dismissed and devalued when they dare to seek empathy for themselves.
The article about a female stalker seems to have been used to prove a point that women aren't trustworthy or that they sometimes frame innocent men. I could be wrong, however. If this is the case, the motivation for this thread would be a disingenuous attempt at baiting women to reply, and calling them misandrist for saying they can relate.
Nobody has called anyone a misandrist in this thread.
Can you provide evidence of your claim? Unless I'm having a really bad memory day, I don't recall anyone using the word misandrist in the thread we are posting in now.
Also, an unspecified comment from a person where they say in that other thread (I paraphrase here) "there seems to be some overtones of misandry in this thread" - doesn't mean that everyone in that thread stands accused of being a misandrist.
I didn't foresee that people would be thinking about that thread in this thread, but I guess maybe that was a blind spot on my part.
This thread is just a thread about female stalking, it wasn't aimed at anybody in particular on this forum.
I have personal experience of being trolled/stalked by a female (online) and I have mentioned elsewhere on the forum that I had a former friend who was stalked also (in-person) by a female, so I have an interest in this topic.
Not every motivation is somehow conspiring against the (alleged) misandrists!
I was also in an extremely volatile and violent relationship for many years where I became the worst possible version of myself. The violence was on both sides. There are no winners in violent relationships
I think men and women deal with these types of things very differently and I think female to male violence is extremely under reported
Thank you for sharing BB.
I don't judge you for your history. I value you as a member of this forum.
I was also in an extremely volatile and violent relationship for many years where I became the worst possible version of myself. The violence was on both sides. There are no winners in violent relationships
I think men and women deal with these types of things very differently and I think female to male violence is extremely under reported
Thank you for sharing BB.
I don't judge you for your history. I value you as a member of this forum.
To be honest I think that if more people stood up and admitted they had a problem then the world would have less problems in it....if you get my meaning
_________________
We have existence
Yes, that's a good example.
There's an overtone that female "feminists" don't care about men's issues because they can't possibly relate.
If they do relate, the suggestion is that they see gender-based crime as a women's issue alone.
Catch 22.
The idea that women / feminists don't understand is germane to the topic of the OP.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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