Autistic traits that I experience aren't commonly discussed

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I have been lurking on online autism communities like Reddit's autism subreddits and elsewhere. I have been given the diagnosis of autism 3 times by 3 different psychologists. However, I don't relate to the majority of autistic experiences ( at least, those discussed online). There is a very strong emphasis on sensory issues- I was a very hypersensitive child, but as an adult, I'm *hypo*sensitive to sound and a lot of other stimuli. I'm quite sensory seeking too- I'm always running my hand over surfaces and touching things, so the hallmark autistic experiences of overstimulation and hypersensitivity are quite alien to me, at least as an adult. ( Of course, I'm not saying these experiences aren't valid! They absolutely are!)

Conversely, I don't see much discussion about the autistic traits that I experience to a significant degree- the need for things to be very predictable and always the same, especially in work situations (which has made most jobs a very bad fit for me- I need to do repetitive tasks that seldom change), difficulty with tasks that aren't part of my regular routine, and getting meltdowns when unexpected tasks arise.

It does make me feel kind of lonely when my manifestation of autism isn't all that common ( at least as far as I can see) and I can't find all that many people who experience what I experience. It's like I don't fit in neurotypical world or the autistic world. Am I just some kind of mutant?

I'm quite sensory seeking too.

I experience all of the things you describe as well. And while I do have sensory issues, they're not as bad for me as they are for many other people. I'm not sure why the things you do experience don't get discussed as much, but I think many of us here still experience them, so if you started a thread about them I expect people would have things to say.
I have at times felt like I can't relate to this or that autistic experience, but we're all different. Generally you're going to share some traits with almost everyone here.

I also have traits and experiences that aren't commonly discussed either.


I can relate to the needing predictability part.
But many would term that as needing routine, needing repetition, wanting a schedule or plan...
Or it's inverse; not liking surprises or unexpected things, being on guard and anticipation because everything is unpredictable, etc.
Or something more subtle; difficulty switching tasks/attention (as a form of interruption), internal changes, the dislike or intolerance over unpredictability, not being fast enough to process shifting gears, reminder had to be visible, etc.

And not being able to distinguish in between.
Just lump into something simpler or is just under 'plan' and 'routine'.


Sensory seeking as a trait bit common actually. Maybe some of these were a bit personal?

Also the lack of distinguish between being drawn to stimuli to a point of overload, needing more stimuli for them to regulate, and actually a compensation for insensitivities in need for info.
It's just lump under sensory seeking.

Sensory insensitivities itself is a less commonly discussed trait alright.
Not a lot can distinguish the source of sensitivities; lack of filter from intensities from the lack of internal tolerance and threshold. Let alone insensitivities.

And insensitivities are not thing to be able to notice to. The daily lack of reaction is rarely discussed as opposed to daily overreaction and discomfort.
So... It's not particularly discussed because it's also not something that's widely complained either.

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I've seen something that says the sensitivity thing isn't linear, and that hyper- and hypo-sensitivity is often present in the same person. The article I read was mostly interested in pain sensitivity. Sorry I can't remember where I saw it.

The need for repetitive routine is also probably well-documented. I have that myself, to a degree, and I've seen it referred to many times here and elsewhere on the Web. And we're known to generally have trouble holding down conventional jobs.

So I don't think you need to consider yourself a misfit. It's probably just that there are many ASD traits and those Reddit pages you've seen don't happen to have mentioned them.

I started out by doubting that I had ASD because there had been a phase of my life in which I had a lot of friends. But the mystery was eventually explained. There's a common saying, that when you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie, which means that we're all individuals with our own unique personalities and profile of traits.

I was diagnosed as probably having some type of a non-verbal learning disorder (NVLD). This disorder can sometimes be mistaken for a mild autism disorder

While I do have sensory issues, I can also be very sensory seeking. I do that as well, always touching things, running my hands on surfaces. Some things simply look to touchable to keep my paws off of. Lol.

I'm also a big one for routines, things to be predictable. I like repetition, sameness. I'm quite content to live a 'boring' life where I do the same things all the time. Things that aren't part of my routine totally throw me off and I don't like that. I don't have meltdowns over it much these days, but I certainly would when I was younger. These days it mostly just stresses me out and takes me a long time to recover from wrenches thrown into my daily norm.

I'm not sure why these things aren't being discussed as much. *shrugs*

I do like routines as well. I don't have sensory issues to speak of other than I don't like being in situations with a lot of chaos going on.

I can definitely lie, so I didn't get that Aspie trait.

You sound a lot like me!

Certainly as far as work is concerned, I can do different tasks, but only one at a time, and only if the tasks are properly specified. I'm brilliant at solving problems; what I cannot do is decipher questions. You'll find a lot of people saying similar things in the 'Work and Finding a Job' forum section.

There are plenty of 'typical' autistic characteristics that I don't have. I have empathy (plenty of it). I don't stim. While like a lot of autistic people I do have difficulties in social situations, I have no particular yearning to be better at making friends. I've been gainfully employed most of my life. I've been married to a beautiful NT person for the last 25 years. I'd become so good at masking that I feared the psychologists at my autism assessment would decide I wasn't autistic at all. (I needn't have worried there!)

The really good news is we're all mutants. There is no 'typical' autistic person. This is a huge relief to me, as I am what used to be considered the 'typical' autistic person, and the only type that was ever able to get a diagnosis at all once upon a time - I'm a cisgendered heterosexual high-IQ white Caucasian male from a well-off middle-class First World family. The autistic community is so diverse that I thought I simply wouldn't fit in. Happily I was wrong. I've been made more than welcome.

I have a lot of sensory issues and don't function well if asked to task switch and not have a consistent routine. People tell me I'm pedantic, because I organise everything, keep things in boxes, sorted, make detailed plans etc. I can't relate to most autistic spaces online. They make me feel even more alone than neurotypical spaces, because plenty of people say stereotypical autistic behaviours and traits are present only in books and aren't a thing or have some kind of "deep autism" if you do have them. I don't know, I'm doing fine, I don't have some "deep autism". Although I used to be a very stereotypical example of Asperger's in early childhood. It doesn't happen only in books. It all feels kind of offensive, having been there in the past. That's a bunch of rude, disrespectful comments.

The key is that we're atypical and our nervous systems function atypically, whether that means we're hyposensitive or hypersensitive to various stimuli.


I have both kinds, but I'm sure some people are primarily hypo.