Oops, wrong planet

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My long index fingers are pointing me towards the exit. Apparently, I have a "very feminine brain" according to science, and that is contradictory to the diagnosis of AS, which tends towards long ring fingers and the "male brain".

Huge apologies if I have confused anyone by my comments thus far. I had thought I was identifying with everything being said and how similar they were to my own experiences. My high Aspie scores on various quizes entrenched this misconception, as did my boyfriend's agreement that AS sounded a lot like me.

I know that I'm not NT. But now I doubt I'm AS. Once again I don't fit in and I need to find my own planet! I'm feeling weird about obsessing about this board so much and then realising I might be in the wrong place.

Hope no harm done.

okay...so what makes you think your not AS? I'm a girl and I fit into a lot of criteria; but not all. I also have the ability to fake being an NT. Does that make sense to you?

I'm still curious as to why not AS.

Oh Cordelia, I wish I had the ability to fake NT, but I'm not too good at that.

I've just googled some stuff about long ring fingers which is strongly correlated to AS/Autism. An excess of testosterone in the womb, during development. I have the reverse. It may be that my empathy levels are too high, as opposed to too low. That also contradicts the AS diagnosis, according to the formal sites out there.

I hope this makes sense. I don't want to turn this into too long an analytical a post.

I am going into psychology specifically to change the DSM-IV. Bull s**t. First, you can have most, but not all the symptoms and still be Aspie. I doubt there is any aspie anywhere that meets 100% of the criteria. Do not throw away your diagnosis. You probably still are. You have a lot of the symptoms. Remember too this is a spectrum disorder.

Annabel, thanks for the reminder about a spectrum disorder. It may well be that I am identifying with pretty much everything on the spectrum of the human condition that is outside of 'normal / majority' experience.

Perhaps I had better stand back for a while, sleep on it and then return tomorrow with a fresher perspective.

Hey Sapphix, I hope you don't go, or if you do leave promise me it won't be because your ring finger wasn't long enough.
If you feel happy here and that sharing and experiencing this board is positive for you then embrace it.
I am female and have a longer ring finger but I feel that there may be more truth in the linkage between left and right brain orientation than finger length and if autism is hereditary it would be polygenetic so you may not express all the genetic code.

It has been shown that girls with AS "learn" social skills and empathy easier than males with AS. Many AS females also learn to analyze situations and emotions to such an extent and in such detail that they do seem to become overly emotional. Also, girls with AS do tend to worry more about friendships and being social than boys do, leading to more worrying and depression. It's not a matter of not caring to interact with others, it's a matter of just not knowing how.

As for the finger length issue, I don't know that I would use that a concrete way to diagnose AS.

I think that if you are comfortable here, you should stay. I don't know for sure if I have it or not, odds are very good, but I don't fit what my boys and dad are like, either. And if you really need to know, find a way to be diagnosed. I can also send you some links about women with AS if you want me to.

Lauri/blessedmom

Sapphix -

Please don't buy into everything you Google. Really. Just because it's on the net doesn't make it acurate or even close to it. Believing what you read on the net is like going to a popular press bookstore and picking up a bunch of books on a topic. The authors may have no expertise at all, but they have an idea that will sell and are published because of that. There may be authors who really believe in what they're writing, but what they write is more personal philosophy than fact. There may be some serious stuff in the pages of other works. Unless you're sure which one you've picked up, take it all with a grain of salt, ok?

The ring finger thing is just an urban legend at this point, hon. Really.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a hell of a time with empathy. There are a few people on this planet who could explain it for you, where I cannot here. But lack of empathy is not a problem of mine, unfortunately. And there's no doubt I'm Aspie.

Male brains, female brains. Unless someone's doing an FMRI scan on you at the time you're doing something, I doubt there'd be a way to tell which one your particular traits are more like. The male NTs I know say I think like a woman, and the female NTs I know say I think like a man. They'd all drop dead of shock if they knew what I was usually thinking when they came out with those profound statements!

Just as there are all sorts of personalities IRL, there are all sorts of personalities here. There is no "one" Aspie, no "one" Autie type. We're all as different as grains of sand on a beach - the one thing in common, really, is that we're on the beach. There is no "fit" or "doesn't fit" unless it's in your own mind's eye. Some of us may have traits in common with some others. Some of us have likes that are the same, some have similar dislikes. Some of us are diametrical opposites of each other. It doesn't matter, there's room for everyone here.

If you are comfortable here, stay here with us. If you are uncomfortable, leave, but know you can always return when you'd like. Many people come and go from the boards. It's not uncommon for folks to take a sabbatical once and a while, and then decide to come back.

Nan

I also feel the need to point out you are basing this on mere theories. This is correlational studies and nothing more. Correlation says there may be a relationship. It doesn't prove a relationship at all. In fact, you must watch for coincidence.
Let me explain a bit about myself:
I am extremely feminine. I am a girly-girl yet I love remodeling homes and working on cars. I am great in music, math, science, writing, and language. I am ambidextrous. My middle finger is longer than my ring finger and I have an excess of estrogen which is an issue, not testosterone.
I stim. I have obsessive topics. I have social issues. I have problems with light and sound. I cannot tolerate being touched by those I don't know and wear very loose and baggy clothes. I use candles for light most of the time. I have a lot of other issues. However, I try desperately to be sociable though I need my alone time. I am very empathetic.
though I have differences off the spectrum I am on it because I meet the criteria.
This is exactly why I am pushing research into the true nature of aspies in adulthood! We ARE empathetic. We DO have normal emotions. We DO try to be social (a lot of us). They use the autistic criteria in childhood for adulthood too. Children are not developmentally mature as of yet, and things like empathy actually take years to develop. Of course it will be delayed in someone on the spectrum.
I hope to see them rewritten both for children and adults. It needs to be more fair. The current one is ridiculously short sighted and simple minded. Obviously very little research was done on aspie adults when it was written.

Gosh, thank you, you've all made a whole lot of sense. And I was about to leave because of the length of my index finger. Not very sane. I am comfortable here and I really enjoy the experience of learning more about myself through the different mirrors and perhaps adding a little of my own here and there too. You are all gems.

Sanity is not a requirement for posting.

Thank heavens for that! The cafe would be empty!

Even after receiving a DX from someone who was supposed to be an "expert" in adult AS DXing,I had my doubts.Was I fooling myself,was the DR just looking for another patient,were all adults with AS just "individualists" with a few coincidental quirks?I spent a year obsessing and researching AS(maybe that should have been a clue ).

At some point you do have to make a "leap of faith".AS fits me more then anything else anyone has come up with and does give me some insights into how I respond to life.

One thing to consider when reading information about AS,is that most of the research has been done with male children.They generally exclude females by saying there are not enough of them to make it a balanced research...ie...they know that how we experience AS maybe different then males and don't want it to skew(what's the word?)the results.

As far as the empathy thing....My theory is that it is the same thing as autistics sensory issues in general...some are overly sensitive and some are under-sensitive.There is even the possibility that some who appear under-sensitive,do so,because they have learned to build a wall to protect them from being to sensitive.Point being....."experts" have a lot to learn and none of it is going to be accurate for females if they dont start including us in testing.

Wrong finger, Wrong Planet ! !!

My 2 cents worth

Even psychologists don't agree on what AS is or how it should be defined, especially those doing research. So don't be surprised to find a lot of disagreement here.

Besides, it seems to me, judging from life experience rather than anything i've read, that 'high-functioning' autistic people, including those diagnosed, or self-diagnosed (like me) with AS, are an unusually argumentative bunch. Keep that in mind.

As for the finger diagnosis - i'd never heard of it before - I just checked my fingers & the two appear to be of equal length on each hand. Does that mean something?

AC

Please don't leave just because of the length of your ring finger!
On one of my hands my ring finger is longer, but I am diagnosed with AS.
If you feel comfortable here then stay.