Talking too much

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Does anyone else talk a lot and sometimes get accused of turning a conversation into a monologue? I tend to expound on details and am not very concise in person.

Has anyone else gotten in trouble for talking too much? With some people they can get fairly angry if they don't speak in a conversation, I don't feel that way although I do tend to input a lot.

Is it hard to tell what is appropriate to talk about and sometimes say something you shouldn't have because it popped into your head? Does anyone else have a problem speaking without thinking about what to say first?

Does "having the last word" actually matter to you if you have been accused of doing so? I have a hard time ending conversations in person and end up having the last word because I just speak like I'm continuing the conversations and don't know when to say goodbye.

Anyone else have these problems?

Yes, a bit. I like to think I'm not all that bad, but my wife tells me my conversations can be more one-sided than I think they are. The example she used once was she asked me if I'd like... I forget what, some sort of mobile computing technology - one of my obsessions. I talked for an hour about how I thought mobile computing, net based apps, and appliance interactions were going to affect how we use computers over the next decade. An hour. And I still didn't actually answer her question.

I think I also give the impression of going on and on because I know I'm often misunderstood, so I'll expand on anything I talk about given the opportunity in the hope that the elaboration makes what I'm trying to say clearer - why use one word when you can use ten? I also cut people off (my wife especially, much to her chagrin) because I think they've finished their thought and expect a response when in fact they've just paused to take a breath or something.
I usually pause long enough now so I avoid blurting out something inappropriate, but I think I used to do so fairly regularly.
It doesn't matter to me much about getting the last word in, but I'll usually try to extend a conversation if I think the person I'm talking to has misunderstood or is just plain wrong on a subject and that I can enlighten them.

I normally don't talk much, but give me a chance to talk about a subject I'm interested in, I will go on and on about it. People get annoyed, and I don't know when they get bored.

Which is why online forums are so appealing. You can spend all the time you need discussing a subject and people can make the conscious choice of whether or not it's worth their time to listen before they even decide to start reading.

I've been told I sound like I'm talking 'at' someone as opposed to talking 'to' someone.

I can see how this would be common. Some of us can probably talk for a while when we get started on something that interests us.

Myself, I just don't talk much. If it's something I'm really interested in, I'll get a few words out. Sometimes I'll say more than anybody cares to hear, or tell people things they already know, but I don't go on for long. I've always been called quiet, but never motor-mouth.

Oh brother. Boy, do I know this well. My husband and I had been married over five years before we discovered we had BOTH been called "Motor Mouth" as kids. My ex used to say I took half an hour to tell a five-minute story. But some people are entertained by my stories, and even tell me I'm hilarious and should write a book or something. It depends on the person, and the subject. I agree, though - why use one word when you can use 10?

My husband often chides me for this, and for me dominating conversations, but he does it himself, with me, quite a bit, and I'm not sure he's aware of it. Even when I'm sighing, looking at my watch, looking somewhere else, at the ceiling, floor, whatever - he doesn't seem to "get" that I've long since lost interest in what he's saying (probably because he's repeated the same things over and over and over for half an hour) unless I actually get up and leave the room.

He "says" he's aware of it but if I ever actually point it out, he gets a little bit angry. Maybe he's just embarassed but can't express that well. I guess I'm a little better at laughing at myself.

Anyway, even though we both do this, unfortunately this awareness doesn't seem to help us be as patient as we'd like to be with our Aspie son's incessant talking. His teachers sure want us to make him stop, but please - that's impossible.

Any suggestion appreciated, though.

Yes, in fact i was wondering only today whether it would be fair to say that "language use" (speech, writing, and reading,) is my main aspie OCD!! And i am beginning to feel sick of it. Always having to have something to read, writing on here for hours increasingly,( until Friday when actually felt nauseous , and went to bed and apart from some essential shopping on sat morning stayed there till this afternoon, which felt wonderful). that if i actually get to talk to somebody i will just talk, like a river ( starts off slow trickle but any encouragement and i'm off),.... and it's so exhausting, and sickening, and makes me wonder whether i wouldn't rather be on "mute" around people. Why France seemed so restful and peaceful and me so different in the early years; because i couldn't speak french well at all. There wasn't much in english to read, and reading french didn't have the same soothing quality.

Find myself a convent, convert as rapidly as poss to catholicism and enter silent retreat.

When I was little I was told I talked wayyy to much but never understood what I was really doing. As I got older I think that tendancy stopped primarily cause I noticed the problem and realized I need to work on my conversation skills and not taking control of the conversation. I think now I am much better at talking with the group (when I do anyways) then ever before but of course still could use more practice, I am sure my problem will be lifelong, heh.

I can talk 4 ages about my interest in cricket especially about sachin tendulkar as he is 1 of my fave cricket playas.

My boyfriend does this. Significantly. Lol.

IMO the trick is to allow, in your 'monologue', spaces for other people's comments. this turns a monologue into a conversation.

Remember, monologue = one person talking. Conversation = two people talking. It needs to be balanced, ideally 50/50, or 60/40 if you're really into it.

All the time...

I find it easier to communicate here, where each person can write their own monologue into a post, and then the rest of us can spend our merry time reading it...

I was relieved of a job because they thought I talked too much, believe it or not.

this is exactly the way i am...it's become so bad now that i've noticed that my mother has started to tune me out when i get going, but it has always been a problem for me. they used to make the comment 'to make a short story long...' whenever i would start talking about something, because, yes...why use only one word when ten will do?

it's just me, who i am and what i do. i've tried to not do it, and i've learned to control it mostly in work situations, only because i had one boss who was very patient with me, and would point out when i was doing things that were inappropriate (like talking to much, arguing unnecessarily, adding in comments that were inappropriate, etc.) so i learned from him to control it when it comes to work...but for everyday? not a chance. it just doesn't seem to carry over...

I just don't know when to talk - or when to SHUT UP!