being able to see people for who they really are

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brfandan
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23 Jan 2008, 10:25 pm

even though i cant read people's emotions very well, unless they are dead obvious, i feel i can see people for who they really are just by talking to them for a few minutes, sometimes i just have to meet them and i am able to form an accurate opinion about them. I even sort of sympathized with the main character in There Will Be Blood because i really understood where he was coming from; that whole "i see the worst in people/ when i look at people, i see nothing worth liking" speech really hit me hard. I am not just realizing it now, I've felt this way for as long as i can remember.

Of course its easier for me to see the bad things in people, which has made me come to have a pretty pessimistic (possibly realistic?) view of humanity. but i do rarely find people who are truly good hearted and unselfish.

the reason i bring this up on WP is to see if there is any correlation between these "abilities" and asperger's or if its something that wouldn't be linked to autism at all. does anyone else get these feelings here?



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24 Jan 2008, 1:07 am

Not reading emotions well is part of the aspie spec.

None of us seem to read them really well and most of us have problems empathizing in some way or another.

I used to think that I could empathize really well but the recent death or my son's tutor has taught me otherwise.



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24 Jan 2008, 1:29 am

brfandan wrote:
"i see the worst in people/ when i look at people, i see nothing worth liking"


I can identify with that.

I think it comes down to my lack of trust I have with people. They have hurt me so many times, that I have come to expect nothing good from them.


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someguy
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24 Jan 2008, 5:00 pm

I feel bad about it but I generally dislike most people. I've found only a handful of people in my entire life who I have found really are willing to act in a non-selfish way, who really seem to be good people. For the rest when you really boil down their actions pretty much everything they say and do is close minded and selfish in their own way. Maybe that's just the human race, an animal primarily driven by selfish instincts.

The part of it that bothers me I think is that the goal in society seems to be to follow this rule.

A) Be as selfish as possible, while
B) Appearing to be a selfless as possible.



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25 Jan 2008, 2:31 am

I know I am able to pick up one what kind of person someone is by the way they treat me because they can sense I am "different".



HydroPurity
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25 Jan 2008, 3:20 am

someguy wrote:
I feel bad about it but I generally dislike most people. I've found only a handful of people in my entire life who I have found really are willing to act in a non-selfish way, who really seem to be good people. For the rest when you really boil down their actions pretty much everything they say and do is close minded and selfish in their own way. Maybe that's just the human race, an animal primarily driven by selfish instincts.

The part of it that bothers me I think is that the goal in society seems to be to follow this rule.

A) Be as selfish as possible, while
B) Appearing to be a selfless as possible.


Wow man, I've never thought about it like that before. You're pretty much dead on. But when you look at politics, it's especially clear that it's like that.



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25 Jan 2008, 5:20 am

I am sort of the opposite, I feel I need to believe in the underlying good in people, though they often show the opposite I try in my mind to look underneath it and see the reasons...

I think it is just my personality type, its funny I am naturally very pessimistic about life unless I put in massive efforts to try and stop it, but I have this weird desire to believe in the good in people.. sort of like a people optimism.. odd.

Some people though behave in pretty repulsive ways which make it hard to do this, such as people who harm others with no regard for them.


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25 Jan 2008, 9:21 am

I can see some bad things in people, but also some good things, usually.


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25 Jan 2008, 9:48 am

I cannot see how someone can know how a person innately is other than witnessing actions or resorting to telepathy, and since the latter doesn't exist..., yeah.

No idea on verbal/non-verbal communication here; I cannot see non-verbal emotion unless it's extremely overt (it still confuses me then), I cannot read voices at all other than my mother's.

I don't wish to know people, so my "difficulties" don't mean much, and I assume that everyone is a potential enemy, so I'm always prepared for the worse (it gets draining after awhile).



brfandan
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25 Jan 2008, 3:36 pm

Danielismyname wrote:
I cannot see how someone can know how a person innately is other than witnessing actions or resorting to telepathy, and since the latter doesn't exist..., yeah.

No idea on verbal/non-verbal communication here; I cannot see non-verbal emotion unless it's extremely overt (it still confuses me then), I cannot read voices at all other than my mother's.

I don't wish to know people, so my "difficulties" don't mean much, and I assume that everyone is a potential enemy, so I'm always prepared for the worse (it gets draining after awhile).


well i didn't mean that i just know through some sort of sixth sense, i said i can usually tell by talking to them or meeting them, because people make so many little actions every second. i still cant read emotions well, everybody is emotionless to me, unless they are really expressing their emotions.



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25 Jan 2008, 4:15 pm

brfandan wrote:
even though i cant read people's emotions very well, unless they are dead obvious, i feel i can see people for who they really are just by talking to them for a few minutes, sometimes i just have to meet them and i am able to form an accurate opinion about them. I even sort of sympathized with the main character in There Will Be Blood because i really understood where he was coming from; that whole "i see the worst in people/ when i look at people, i see nothing worth liking" speech really hit me hard. I am not just realizing it now, I've felt this way for as long as i can remember.

Of course its easier for me to see the bad things in people, which has made me come to have a pretty pessimistic (possibly realistic?) view of humanity. but i do rarely find people who are truly good hearted and unselfish.

the reason i bring this up on WP is to see if there is any correlation between these "abilities" and asperger's or if its something that wouldn't be linked to autism at all. does anyone else get these feelings here?


People with disabilities adapt in ways that a non disabled person would not be able to. You know people are always saying that blind people can almost develop a 6th sense of sorts. When you can't see, it enhances all your other senses and you can see more blind than someone else would be able to see with their eyes closed. If that makes sense.

I think we work with what we've got and we're more than capable of developing really cool ways of feeling people out. I've always felt exactly how you described. I'm usually not wrong. I only say usually because I can't bring myself to say "never". I feel vibes from people and unfortunately they can tend to be very negative like you said.

But yeah, definitely possible that our deficits will create a surplus elsewhere.


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25 Jan 2008, 4:24 pm

I have felt the same way as well as the original poster (word for word).

It could be an attitude thing. NTs probably believe the same thing. They just focus on the positive and don't focus on the negative parts of people.



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25 Jan 2008, 4:30 pm

brfandan wrote:
even though i cant read people's emotions very well, unless they are dead obvious, i feel i can see people for who they really are just by talking to them for a few minutes, sometimes i just have to meet them and i am able to form an accurate opinion about them. I even sort of sympathized with the main character in There Will Be Blood because i really understood where he was coming from; that whole "i see the worst in people/ when i look at people, i see nothing worth liking" speech really hit me hard. I am not just realizing it now, I've felt this way for as long as i can remember.

Of course its easier for me to see the bad things in people, which has made me come to have a pretty pessimistic (possibly realistic?) view of humanity. but i do rarely find people who are truly good hearted and unselfish.

the reason i bring this up on WP is to see if there is any correlation between these "abilities" and asperger's or if its something that wouldn't be linked to autism at all. does anyone else get these feelings here?

bImage

am I being....honest?


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25 Jan 2008, 4:37 pm

I actually get those feelings too, whether experience repeated and memorized and proven time and time again; of body language, or empathy, or purely medium. The people I like the best often are the ones I just can't finger.

But this IS how WE are often mislabeled and how others often go unnoticed.

Being a medium IS biological on an extremely sensory level, imo.
Seeing is believing and though I form opinions I NEVER pull anything out of a hat: ie guess-except as it pertains to my safety.


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25 Jan 2008, 4:42 pm

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26 Jan 2008, 5:31 am

I can't communicate well with people unless it's in a predictable situation but I can read them extremely well. I think that's part of the reason why I have difficulty interacting with them. They contradict their internal selves with their external behaviour, not necessarily lying, just adapting too much.