eating disorders

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only if they come out sideways

Eating disorders are very common among those who fall on the Autistic Spectrum since we have obsessive thinking as well as Sensory Processing and Interoception issues. Eating disorders can be either overeating or undereating and I have suffered from both. I felt I needed to become obsessive and neurotic about what I put in my mouth in an effort to lose weight and control my eating.

I have problems with binge eating. 1ce I start eating it's hard for me to stop if it's food I like. I make a pig of myself & it's one of the reasons why I've gained weight & why my blood sugar & cholesterol are kinda high. I was a very picky eater as a kid & teen(I still am but I was worse) & I would eat only one big meal a day because the food I wanted wasn't available. I'm eating 3x a day nowadays partly because of meds & supplements I take & because I get more of the food I want but I still have that tendency to eat too much when I eat. I didn't have a binge eating problem when I 1st started eating 3 meals a day but after a couple years I fell back into my old habits. It doesn't help that my girlfriend has depression & eating is a comfort thing for her. Her eating snacks makes me want to eat even if I just at a meal or other snacks. I really lack self-control 1ce I started binge eating again & the habit is hard to break. I really need to try & work on this more for my health before I get put on meds for cholesterol & diabetes.

i've been Dxed anorexia nervosa type 1 a few years ago...currently i am weight restored.

when i was a kid ages about 9-12 i started purging. i didn't realize what i was doing was disordered at the time, though. i was a gymnast and really intense about it. things were also rough at home and there was some extraneous abuse as well. controlling my own sickness was a sick comfort i guess.

funny thing is after i stopped i became emetephobic.

i can list a few reasons why i think my ED and my AS feed each other.
-food sensory issues
-deep, obsessive focus
-need to do things the "right"
way, habitual
-the numbing effect of starvation
-being small is much more comfortable and from an external perspective, being small makes people accept my awkwardness more