Would you like to have a terminal illness?

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life is a terminal illness.

LOL at the "knight in shining armor" bit. Did come off that way, but it pisses me off when other people's honest feelings on matters are criticized for even being let out. Anyway, state of mind was sort of affected by what my girl friend's going through right now, so no shining armor rescue goin' down here, I'm taken! Just I'm seeing what's going on here, and it relates very much to a similar situation back home. Claire can speak for herself, no doubt about it. She's already done it in fact, to your dismay.

Don't need no lap, nor any "lesson." Been doing well enough alone, and as it were, it was people who expressed opinions like yours that absolutely DID NOT HELP. I'm all for getting past things like this, it's when others cite honest feelings such as hers as "invalid" that I get a tad upset. It's not sympathy that's in order, just respect. I mean, sympathy meant f**k all, and I got lots of it for other reasons. How does one expect to move on from these ideas, when the idea of a "defected" mind is constantly hammered in? Both sympathy, and disrespect accomplish nothing very nicely, and do very much damage (IMO). Respect for the thoughts coming out of our heads isn't to be mistaken with "encouragement" neither. Respect for the thoughts, as they came for a reason, and they didn't come by choice, that is all.

I'm under the impression s/m crap is supposed to be "fun"...? Those were not "fun" thoughts man. Your post simply took me back to an angered state of mind, one I've left, but many others are still going through. Had I known anything at all, I would have been "well adjusted" long ago, instead people talked down, looked down, and beat up the likes of me, and many others. The "us vs. them" mentallity is repulsive to me, but in some cases there is truth to the matter. The idea shouldn't be pushed forward as we push on however.

BTW, you're an honest guy, and expressed your natural feelings, and I do respect that. I did get out of hand there, but it is a good way to open up the forum tho, eh? I find in many of the arguments I've had, I've come away with more respect for that person, as I understand what's going on now, guess it's a convoluted way of figuring things out, eh? Works so far tho, gotta girl out of it.

Aight....in truth, Omar was just gett'n a feel for the kinda mindframe that would espouse such views without qualifiers - BUT - the way it was stated did sound like Omar 'bout to launch an personal inquisition on private thought w/ his big stick of SHAME- an awkward word fo' sure - wit a lotta connotations stuck on it by da way it's been rung outta the mouths of clergmen and social etiquettists. It ain't like dat tho, and Omar apologizes - not for the gist of what was said - but for how it was uttered.

But, you should also realize that while this place may be a support group - that don't mean your every word gonna be eaten up by everyone wit spoonfuls of honey - sometimes you might get stung. Not 'cuz of the wanting to inflict pain, but more as a reminder of whats out there in the -universe- and there aint no planet thats exempt from fundamental rules.

Truce.

We cool JR, ain't nothin' like a little sparring every know and then to keep your wits about you.

To my dismay...eh? What you think Omar be expect'n when he pulled the trigger to cap his thoughts? Of course theres gonna be kickback. It certainly wasn't meant to be Big Bad Bully Omar pulling the tufts of hair on little Claire out in the playground (tho in retrospect, it certainly's startin to seem that way) Omar gonna give you and ALL them others that might be offended the same apology he given Clair - my bad at using loaded words to instigate cht -but the idea? Omar be stick'n wit dat.




Hrm... Speak'n an "honest" thought alone ain't worth respect - and the examples to the contrary are probably obvious to you if you give it some passing thought.

see,
If the thought be well framed and substantiated - then it's worth respect.
If the thought be well-meaning, earnest, but inadequate - then it's worth toleratin.
If the thought be irrelevant and/or lazy - then its worth ignoring.
If the thought be potentially harmful or mislead'n - then its worth calling out on.

A very quick'n'rough guideline for how Omar treats things and it seems to Omar you've pretty much ascribe to dat' rule to a degree - After all you giv'n Omar props for Honesty but still felt needed (perhaps rightfully) to call Omar out on it.




Us vs them, w/ them being "people [that]talked down, looked down, and beat up the likes of me"...
seems like the wrong kinda definitions to be ascribin to people....intention not action be the cause of your worry- else you be constantly react'n to the next development - and that aint no way to win a war.

Anyhow, this thread's gone way past terminal...Omar's gotta back away from this bloated zombie here before it starts infect'n

LOL Yeah CTS sucks.

Very often I think I wish to die, or know when and how (I'd like to choose a painless death). But I prefer to live. And the reason is completly stupid! I prefer to live for my computer, the new Playstation games i'd like to play, the movies i'd like to watch, the books I'd like to read... I can't figure out how someone so smart how I am (or people say and tests show) could choose so stupid meaning of life.

As someone whose mother has had a form of leukaemia for sixteen or seventeen years, this cuts way too close to home.

My mother is alive and we value that life she has.

Be careful what you wish for. ^_^ There's not much you can do when you're dead, after all.

Apple

I'd like to have a bizarre, infectious, acute illness like Lassa fever or eastern equine encephalitis and survive. That would make a great anecdote ("Ted, that really reminds me of the time I caught the Semlinki Forest virus...")

I would greet a terminal illness as my knight in shining armor!
I would be so jazzed. . .I have been undiagnosed AS all my life and I would LOVE to shuffle off this mortal coil, believe me!


Merle

I never thought sinsboldly would say something like that.

why not? I have no family, I have no children. I don't even have a emergency contact should I go to the hospital. My cat goes back to the shelter where I got him, and I have nothing to will anyone. All the stuff I have from my extinct family won't mean anything to any one else, anyway. I think what ever happens after I lose my body will be at least as interesting as what is happening now, I am not so much into suffering before I go, though, but we all die, so. . why not?

Merle

I forgot about that. I did feel that way, maybe sometime around middle school. It might have been when the shrinks started nosing around. I’m not sure of the timing or the connection.

In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter 19, Sirius was asked how he survived the horrors of the wizard prison.

“I don’t know how I did it,” he said slowly. “I think the only reason I never lost my mind is I that I knew I was innocent. That wasn’t a happy thought, so the dementors couldn’t suck it out of me… but it kept me same and knowing who I am…”

In the prison of my own childhood, I knew that I was innocent.

Somehow, I knew not to let anyone inside. If they knew what was really going on, their attacks would have been more effective. I would have internalized it all and believed that I was basically defective. That is when you lose your mind.

As an emancipated adult, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. The fact that they are still clueless is their choice, not mine.

It’s not humor. It’ about asking honest questions in a safe environment. If you talk about this anywhere else, they’ll put you in a straight jacket.

If you don’t want to help, get out of the way.

Pigs lie to children, for the benefit of themselves.

And by the way, I'm an athiest, and I have stronger moral principals than anyone I know.
I know the difference between rational selfishness, knee-jerking, herd mentality and true morality.
I make an effort to "work out my own salvation."
Organized religion doesn't allow you to do that.


I try. It's not always easy. We're all here because we're hard to understand.

Organized religion has one gigantic flaw: The organization is made of people.

Other than that, there's nothing wrong with it.

Pros and cons, I guess.

I've thought of this kind of scenario many times before. I could say "that's it, it's settled, I don't have to worry beyond this point," which would be kind of liberating, but also kind of limiting. But, I'm pretty sure I'd have an easier time with it than most people would. I believe afterlife is a pretty conceited concept, and all I'd really be missing out on is the unknown, and dealing with the consequent present and past, which have the best likelihood of being unfulfilling for me, anyway.

BUT... you never know. Even if I wind up regretting the extra time more than I would have regretted not having it at all, (not very likely, actually) it would have been stupid to throw it all away without knowing. Frankly, I feel guilty for entertaining these kinds of thoughts when I live in a first-world country with adequate food, medicine and conveniences like a computer when there are so many who have to worry just about staying alive one day to the next. Off-topic, I know, but sometimes it's important to look at the big picture.