Spontaneous people annoy the hell out of me...

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I always plan everything ahead but most of the time, things do go according to plan. However, I have some kind of ability to make things work in my favor when things go wrong. I've learned to put up with unexpected and spontaneous events that people or whatever throw at me.

Still would like to see at least something go exactly as planned every once in a while.

It sounds like the problem is just as much that your mom can be selfish as it is that she's spontaneous... just my reading of things, however.

Anyways, I'm also sort of in the middle here. If I'm not doing anything, things can be up in the air, and supposing that I know HOW to do something on a moment's notice, I'm not bothered by just deciding or having to do it out of the blue. However, it drives me absolutely insane when I'm in the middle of one thing and someone stops me to do something else suddenly. I'll switch tasks if I want to, but being made to do it is quite disruptive.

I pretty much grew up with my parents planning everything so for the longest time, that was the only way I liked it. My dad is super rigid with the schedule and freaks out unpredicted changes. But when I went off to college my friends were last minute for the most part. I learned that planning everything is not the way to go when it involves other people. I plan out things that just involve myself all the time. But I still allow for that spontoneity with my friends. I allow them to initiate things because I got sick of trying to plan things and my friends cancelling on me. It works a lot better.

So maybe you can try to find some sort of compromise between planning and spontineity.