Rant about loneliness

Post Reply New Topic

To begin with, dating sites are pointless. They are missing the single most essential ingredient in interaction between the genders: actual human contact. When you communicate with someone of the opposite gender on a dating site, you're missing 90% of what attraction is about. You can't see their face, hear their voice, read their body language, see how they physically react to you or the surrounding environment, or get an instinctual sense of their feelings towards you. All you can rely on is an electronic text transfer between their computer and yours.

I'll give an example: Let's say you watch a sunset with a female friend who you're attracted to. You hear her voice, feel her next to you, watch the way the colors of the sunset reflect on her hair. Trying to mimic this experience on an online dating site - typing out the words "I'd like to go watch a sunset with a special someone" - totally fails to capture the essence of the experience.

Saying that a dating site is a sufficient replacement for actual, real, human-contact dating is like saying that cyber-sex is a sufficient substitute for actual real sex. There is no replacement for actual dating, the same way that there is no replacement for the actual real, raw, human experience of having sex. Companies that run dating sites have spent no limit on time and energy expended in trying to convince people otherwise, but the truth is, all they provide is a pale psuedo-experience that can never hold a candle to the real thing. No electronic replacement will ever be able to truly mimic the real thing.

As such, for many people, all a dating site does is take your money and make you feel even worse than you did before you signed up.

I doubt anyone was intentionally trying to mock you or insult you, just the combination of circumstances altogether probably made the entire scenario seem like a travesty. But like I said, dating sites are a travesty in themselves.



Many people experience multiple instances of rejection and unhappiness before they finally find a person worth being with. The key is to just put it in the back of your mind and realize that it is what it is- just a knockoff. You shouldn't feel bad that you failed to find true attraction or romance through a medium that isn't designed to provide true attraction or romance, but is rather just made to create a cheap knockoff of dating and attraction.

No point resenting women, or resenting men. Good people and bad people come from both genders.

The problem is that many men (and women) have so much to offer in the way of romance and feeling and attraction, but have no way in which to express themselves, just an endless cycle of pointless activities that lead nowhere. Many people have so much to offer, but nobody to give it to. Romantic attraction is an ephemeral concept which is impossible to predict. I think the only way to make your odds better is to get out, live life, and just hope for the best.

Last edited by Diamond_Head on 13 Dec 2008, 7:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

actually, my cousin uses match.com and she is mad attractive, tall, blonde, typical Swede (I'd post her pic here to prove it to you but I don't think she'd want it). the thing is- she has a high sex drive and is very busy with work so have no time for going to clubs and social places much.

a lot of her friends use that website too, all of them average to great looking. there's a lot of great looking men on it too who also are there for easily obtainable sex.

Take out the words "on a dating site", and it would be correct... for me, anyway...




that... makes absolutely no sense at all... if someone is too busy for work, that means they would have no time for a relationship in general either... why would she even bother?

You still have a better shot at figuring it out through face-to-face contact than you do through a text message or email.

In an electronic message, all you get are the words, and nothing else. No feeling, no vocal tones, no body language, nothing. Although some may succeed doing things that way, it seems difficult to have human interaction and find romantic attraction when the "human" component has been purposefully removed.

Last edited by Diamond_Head on 13 Dec 2008, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

she's not after relationships, she's mainly after sex

I'm not so sure... in a real life situation where I'm thrust into a romantic situation without any previous knowledge, I easily tense up to the point that I can't feel anything. On the other hand, I can experience things when they're not completely overwhelming...

I think the original poster was just trying to convey his frustration of being a passionate individual, but having no real way of expressing it. I know several people (both guys and girls) who are in similar situations.

I don't think he intended to crucify fat people or something like that, or was out to say that he hated unattractive people.

That's part of what I was saying. Without a doubt, interaction through dating sites is a poor substitute for actual human interaction.

However, for some invdividuals, I'm sure the actual real human interaction part is also unpleasant. As a result, some people who may indeed be very passionate people ultimately fail in their attempts to find romantic attraction with someone, because all channels of communication are useless to them. As such, all their passion and desire never has a way to be fully expressed. Sad, but unfortunately true. Like I said, I know several people who are in this scenario.

I don't think he crucified fat people, what he said though, was just plain silly. Saying that it's insulting for someone to want a romantic relationship with another person, and it's all because they're "unattractive" to the OP that makes it a huge insult and a huge letdown, its just plain..well i said it before, silly.

well what do you expect. its time to think about bringing that ship into the harbour, look we are not a hot comodity in sociaty. we feel like the fat girl! we smell, we have pirticular intrests that most girls dont wanna talk about or be associated with. in my current situation im not looking anymore and im tired of it

thankfully i have hands

you see where i am going with this

Speak for yourself. I'm a lot better at reading subtext in writing than I am in person.

Are you done now? Look at you, you're the only one angry right now. You have shown that you have more anger and hatred than I have ever shown, and you have called me everything but black and blue. Are you satisfied, do you think I'm angry because of what you've said?

You talk about me being a "Class A jerk", a "hypocrite", an "egomaniac", but I only see one person getting worked up and resorting to infantile name calling, you. I won't deny that I did call you a "presumptuous ass" once, but I didn't go on and on, like you did. That's why I'm not angry at you, because you are the only one out of control. You are the very person acting like a child.

Yes, my language was a bit coarse with my first post, but I NEVER directly called girls the names you call me. I just remarked on how pissed I was that they never gave me a chance. I never called them b*****s or c***s, I never thought of them like that either. But you, you verbalized everything, all your animousity, and look how far it has gotten you? I'm actually laughing at this response.

Secondly, you don't even know me, so what you say are merely assumptions with no basis in fact. In fact I'm very nice, thank you very much, and I never said that I thought unattractive girls were not worth living, once again you're sticking words in my mouth. I just found them physically repulsive and I was annoyed that my attempts failed but that girls I never were attracted to came to me.


So in short, your anger means nothing to me because it shows exactly how out of control you are right now. I'm actually quite suprised that you wasted so much of your time and energy trying to insult me so vividly. I'm done wasting my breath on you, you're not even worth it.

Are you two done fighting? Or do I have to break out the flamethrower?

Oh, and I'm positively sure that you are the very portrait of objectivity, things like appearences or looks mean very little to you, right? Deny it all you want, but even you have standards for physical appearence, and even you would reject certain guys solely based on appearence. So in a sense, we are both hypocrites, you for calling me a hypocrite when you would reject guys based on physical appearence, and me for ranting about the superficiality of women when my interests are looks based.

Most guys are interested in girls based on looks primarily, I don't what fairytale book told you otherwise, but it is the truth, and guys who deny it are lying. Don't think I'm the only guy like this, there are many just like me, but they didn't articulate it like I did.

Didn't I say I was done wasting my breath on her? Save the flamethrower for another occasion, when it's really needed. No need to waste perfectly good propane

And then you posted right after that... I really have my own opinion about you concerning this situation, but I'm withholding it because to truly let fly in this scenario would probably get me banned,,,