Incorrect/lacking emotional response

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I am wondering how common this is in the AS/autism community, how many people here have experienced this. As a child, sometimes when I would get in trouble by my parents or teachers, I would laugh. This would seal my guilt in their eyes, even if I was NOT really guilty. One time my big brother destroyed the walls in one room of our house. He took a putty knife/scraper and used the sharp edge of it to poke holes all over the walls in that room. I came in later and found it, and then my father walked in. All he saw was me standing there with the destroyed walls. Hell, I was in just as much shock as he was!! I didn't know what happened, but my older brother denied it. So it had to fall on me. And I was so upset and scared about getting into trouble over it, but all I could do was laugh. To him, this meant I was guilty. I cried and told him I couldn't have done it, but I was still laughing despite my tears!! This happened many times, including sometimes when my dad spanked me. I would just laugh and my parents would call me evil.

Tony Attwood mentions in his book Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide For Parents and Professsionals, which I am nearly finished reading, that this is actually a common thing for kids with AS. He says one thing parents should know is that kids do not do this on purpose and they are not evil or sick in the head, it's just something many kids with AS do. I can relate very easily to this, because many times when this would happen to me as a child, my mother would tell me I was a sick, evil little brat and I needed to "have my head examineded by a psychiatrist". She threatened me with the psychiatrist thing quite often and it scared the hell out of me. She said they would lock me up and "fix" me.

To me the way my mother reacted was actually emotionally abusive, but I really wish she would have gone through with it because I might have been diagnosed as AS years ago. But then again, that was back in the 80s and the early 90s, so maybe not.

Also whenever someone close to me died, such as my grandparents, my aunt, and one of my uncles, I always expressed my grief the only way I knew to: indifference. It bothered me that they died, but I had no idea how to grieve so I wouldn't appear to have been affected. This also pissed my parents off to no end and they really thought I was evil. They even had me thinking that, perhaps I was evil and I didn't know it. This is another thing Tony Attwood mentions he has seen many times in kids with AS.

Sorry to carry on, but when I read this in the book last night I smiled and told my wife how happy I was to read that. I had already included it in my notes to my psychologist, and I made sure to highlight that spot in my book as well.

Yes. I can relate 100%. I used to laugh when I was in trouble and really nervous. It’s happened many times. It made a few situations where I was guilty even worse.

I’ve also had problems with crying when I got really pissed off in a few situations in the past. I wasn’t scared or sad. I was just so mad that I started crying and couldn’t help it.

When my mom is yelling I have to try really hard not to smile or laugh because she gets this ridiculous look on her face when she's angry. Although she's the only person I've ever seen yelling so perhaps that look is just the look of anger. But still, I have to really fight the urge to bust up laughing every time, and it makes me feel bad because I know she's trying to be serious and vent her frustration but I can't help it.

Yeah, I laugh during serious conversations. I once got in trouble at school and was sent to the guidance counselor for "disturbing behavior", but I won't get into the details. She asked me if it were all a joke and I just couldn't help but laugh but really, it wasn't a joke at all. I also always laugh when someone gets hurt, but not seriously injured.

I do this sometimes and also when bad things happen I sometimes smile and I cant control it, it's very annoying!

It is also a symptom of schizophrenia.

The more sever the scolding or punishment the more I laughed. Girlfriends breaking up very tenderly and sadly and I couldn't keep a straight face. At funerals I'd be laughing when others were crying.

Well I know that I can laugh when I'm really frustrated. But my usual response to anything growing up was to cry. Just having a serious conversation wold make me cry; I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I was just crying. I hated to cry too! I still do this now but I'm a bit better at it. At least I don't cry when my boss talks to me about something anymore, like I did when I was younger!!

Similar issues as a child when I would be accused of a wrong doing. Either smile or laugh when things got serious and yes, that would seal my guilt with all. The more I tried to explain my true innocence the more loss of self control would occur. Since dx my family have commented on my smiling and laughing in serious conversation or at sad events.

The lack of grieving at the death of friends and family was distressing for me. Annalysing my behvaiour and comparing it to others would produce guilt/shame process.

This problem of producing appropriate emotions for people with AS, do you believe it is an extreme stress response?

Just curious, I can watch a TV show, movie or a quiet reflective moment and feel strong emotions appropriately. I'm relaxed and comfortable with my enviroment at these times.

I don't remember the details, but my mum has been known to call me an evil little witch on occasions.