Solitary Confinement...
Exactly. I would hate to be locked up, but I would definitely prefer to be alone. Actually, that's my idea of hell - being stuck with other people in a small place, without any privacy or the possibility to avoid the them. Something like Sartre's "No Exit" - for me, "hell is other people".
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"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
When my AS BF was in a psych unit, he watched someone taken away to "solitary confinement" or the "quiet room." He longed for the quiet room, away from the crazier than him people!
I've been in confinement twice in psych hospitals, both for major meltdowns. The first time helped me to calm down and the second time was pure and sheer hell. I was restrained for five and a half hours and peed on myself and couldn't wipe the tears off my face.
Of course, just staying in a room alone is bliss for me. It's just that confinement in a psych ward is no fun.
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I've been in confinement twice in psych hospitals, both for major meltdowns. The first time helped me to calm down and the second time was pure and sheer hell. I was restrained for five and a half hours and peed on myself and couldn't wipe the tears off my face.
Of course, just staying in a room alone is bliss for me. It's just that confinement in a psych ward is no fun.
I've been institutionalized a couple of times. The first time wasn't bad at all from the confinement angle because it wasn't locked down. The hospital was out in the middle of nowhere so there wasn't really anywhere to escape to. They had me chemically locked down with thorazine anyway.
The second occasion I was kept in a locked ward 24/7. There was a "quiet room" there, but it wasn't particularly quiet. It was just a tiny padded room that smelled like rage and fear. The month I spent there convinced me to watch what I say around psychiatrists.
I'm not sure how to answer this. I've been in the psych ward a few times where I was locked in the seclusion room. Sometimes, I was okay with it, other times I wasn't. At one hospital that I was in they said they'd never send me to seclusion, because I'd be in heaven. To some extent that is true. Instead, they did the opposite, and locked me out of my room, so that I was forced to hang out in the activity room with the other patients. At that time in my life I had no desire to interact with my adolescent peers, I just wanted to be left alone in my room to do my own thing. The times that I was forced into seclusion, and didn't want to be there caused a major meltdown.
For me it wasn't about being able to handle being alone for extended periods of time. I can handle that just fine. It was about someone taking away my basic human right to come, and go that set me off. You're like a caged animal that has no power, and that is a very scary situation to be in.
This was several years ago. I was not a criminal. I am sure I am quite the opposite, I want everything to go perfectly right. Actually more than the average man. I would never manage to not risk having the correct information to the tax as some do.
However, I was a little indifferent to what the authorities believed, has always had a hugely strong desire in my youth when I knew not that much of my past experiences had been a declaration by Asperger Syndrome, so were the bad with explanations. Even if you have a strong will, they are reasonable that it still ranks in the social interaction. However, I am much better at this today.
However, they were so that I landed on a section and when the youth of the country I am living in not distinguish individuals according to what they have done. The only common denominator was that we needed to be locked.
For me who had no criminal history, to be in the same department, in some cases, difficult criminal adolescents, and other socially maladjusted individuals is no dream scenario.
Then the staff not understand that I had difficulty with physical contact and those before they understood this was in me as they did with all the other so it became an explosive reflex that I received when I was extremely hard for this. I do not want to damage anything, I would never do this intentionally. But I can not stand that people are taking me. However, better today, I am not "mad" today on the approach. Although I do not appreciate it. On these occasions, so I ended up in separation, but in everyday speech is the fact solitary. They are a mattress on the floor, and a large concrete door, and then no lights and they are only mattresses on the floor, then they are empty. But in this title so I got my Asperger diagnosis, and after so I got an explanation for so much As for the time, so I asked if I could not be detained, they were quiet and peaceful. I was locked up anyway. But here, I was not disturbed.
For the Chamber, it was the noise and other incidents that were less peaceful. Of two evils, so I preferred to be in solitary. But when you are in there, so nearly rethink his life. But they were controlled. Would I be locked up and they were not of the state authority, as some obviously were not comfortable, but they say themselves;) But here they are an authority so it is not "locked" without rights. The revised course, constant. Be the one who employed the workers like this, they were just that. Then they would be attributed to the curse. Clearly, the sense that it be recorded, but from those that contact the various bodies.
I was prescribed to epihtet as "defense lawyer" because I wanted everything to go right, and I was legal, which was applicable at different events.
Similar was when I got there, they were very little literature, and I if I am not allowed to read, they are not fully optimized.
So I found a book with all the drugs that were approved, and when I received the epithet "the living pharmaceutical book".
I have never been particularly interested in drugs that way, but for outsiders would certainly be able to believe that I was a pill lovers. But they had the explanation that they were something else to read.
god yes. then one has to try to navigate around a labyrinth of subtleties and communications with the possible consequence of not being able to do so just a mere thought or deed away.
what is said and what is meant is two different things. very hard for us.
and I am not always a quiet person. I was targeted in the main prison population. ugh. I am naive. I believe what people say to me. this is not the stuff that makes for successful prison living! I am better than i used to be. i learned the hard way.
"you have two cigarettes left. can i have them both, and i will return them in ten minutes when my ciggies come with my buy-ups," says the tough girl.
"oh...ok," i reply
(girls around me chuckle. i do not know why they are laughing.)
"here. just let me know when your buy-ups arrive and i'll get two back from you," I assert with smile on face
Girls walk away. laughing and laughing. i wonder why they are laughing.
Buy-ups arrive. Tough Girl does not return ciggies.
"Can i have my two ciggies now?"
Tough Girls laugh and threaten to bash me if I ask for them again.
i work it out from then that i was being duped and to not ask again.
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I spent two days alone in a cell. and as others have clarified - it was not so much the being alone as the confinement and being robbed of my own routines and procedures and ways of doing things. (nice distinction above.)
Last edited by millie on 22 Mar 2009, 2:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
I have lived on my own in a strange land where I can not communicate with the locals, and I loved it. I was oftein on my own. I deeply enjoyed walking in the forests. So I could deal with being isolated from humans. The langauge barrier caused me to be unable to have any deep and meaningful discussion with the locals.
But I value and need my freedom too much, so I expect I would hate jail and not be able to cope well with it.
Let me choose a big pile of books, stick me in the forest, give me my dog plus a lead, issue me with all the food I need, give me a map and compass and lastly provide somewhere warm to rest & sleep and I would be very happy for a week or so.
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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !
Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.
This may sound strange, but sometimes I want to be locked up for a day or two but I am afraid of being held in a psych ward for a long time and dealing with the mind games the dovtors put you through.
If there was a place I could just go to, and tell them I just need to be confined for a couple days, and they would bolt the door from the outside to keep me locked in, and let me out after those couple days, I would be very happy.
Apart from the couple of years in a Children's home, I was kept in solitary confinement every day for 16 hours from about three, to age nine. I think it was the solitary confinement that gave me Aspie symptoms as my social abilities therefore didn't develop, and that part of my brain atrophied to be compensated for by a brain that had to keep itself amused with solitary special interests.