*What Do You Identify With Most?*

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Even among the rejected and despised, I find myself barely tolerated. In company of the weirdest of the weird, autistic community, it feels painful to be harshly judged, ridiculed, mocked, scorned, mercilessly attacked, humiliated, betrayed. Trying to be upbeat positive happy yet belonging nowhere. At least there is some comfort in hermitude.

Every person I have instantly clicked with at WP has been threatened and forced to leave for one reason or another. And recently so many have vanished or decided to take a leave of absence. Naming names is frowned upon but I miss them. The lure of companionship and arriving "home".. ...

It must be masochism that forces one to keep trying. Knowing in ones heart it is already decided/fate to be forever misunderstood, to be denied a crumb of acceptance......is there no refuge, no sanctuary ever?

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<Tears streaming>

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I identify with magic and the readers of signs and omens...with all the great alchemists astrologers shamans visionaries and seers...with prophets from Jeremiah to Nostradamus to Cayce to Rumi...with natural healers...with those providers of genuine sustenance to the famished and bewildered...and with the true scientists following their hearts and not whores to corporate greed..


...with my Advaita Vedanta Bible--I AM THAT, Nisargadatta Maharaj, chapter 'Seek the Source of Consciousness', p. 327:


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"Once you realize that bodily existence is but a state of mind, a movement in consciousness, that the ocean of consciousness is infinite and eternal, and that, when in touch with consciousness, you are the witness only, you will be able to withdraw beyond consciousness altogether."



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I don't understand this bit, in the context of this thread.

But this ...
... is beautiful/inspiring. It's what I meant about identifying with god/buddha/the universe, because it enlarges/expands/opens. Beautiful/inspiring words.

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In the context of this thread which is--What Do You Identify With..

What does it mean to be autistic and to be part of the autistic community?
Do you accept the autism label?
Do you identify with being autistic?
Is your identity bound up with the autism community?
Do you identify with others at WP?
Do you feel at home here in the WP autistic community?
Just what does it mean to identify with something? Or nothing?
Do you identify with what gives you comfort or relief?
Is it possible to identify with people who cause you distress even if they supposedly have the same label you have?
If so, how is it accomplished?

If these musings are off-topic as you imply, then what is the purpose of this thread?

I am somewhat leery about identifying with the "autism community". I am not diagnosed with AS although I find the level of discussion on abstract social problems and the level of informed participants in these areas higher than in all the other web sites I have investigated. My personal psychological inclinations seem to be somewhat in accord with other contributors on the site. But obviously my problems are rather minor compared to those severely afflicted with some of the limitations of autism and AS. I am not totally committed to being a member of any group and, particularly those deeply involved with religious adherence, are totally distanced from me psychologically. Most average people seem unwilling to immerse themselves in this type of discussion as they have other interests. But even here I find myself very much a loner, a role I have come to accept throughout my entire life amongst humans.

I simply didn't see/understand the connection. No "implications" of anything.

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Does anyone identify with being autistic? Or do we just come here because there's nowhere else to go..



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Last edited by alba on 30 Apr 2009, 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

right now my possessions. in the past my body, + coinsesness

Thank you for expressing this. While not feeling a part of any group either, it seemed important to be accepted into this one. I sort of traded my identity as NT for an identity with AS.


Me too.

btw, it struck a cord when you mentioned how you could relate to ducks and seagulls...as, all my life, they've been among the lifeforms I identified with most. About 40 years ago, I wrote a poem about seagulls because they always make me so happy.

It's very interesting that you should have brought up the subject of identifying with AS, alba, because, as my post above exposed, I hadn't even thought of it, and yet I included "identification with a group" in my list of poll-options.

I asked the NT father of my son today which of the options he would pick, and to begin with he couldn't narrow it down to less than three; physical environment, ( house/home, the village we live in, etc ), activities, ( work and cycling ), and family/group/people he has contact with. On thinking about it we remembered that the one time in his life that he had suffered from full-blown depression was after leaving his wife and family for another woman who then left him, ( before I met him ), and it was as if he lost all sense of identity/self, ( the doctor prescribed anti-depressants rather than proposing/offering counselling to explore/learn from this "existential" crisis ).

He is very NT, and so I am not surprised that he identifies most with family/people. It makes him dependent on people; instinctively/unthinkingly ready to say, and even believe, whatever will please those around him, and automatically reluctant to think or believe, anything, ( consciously at least ), which risks alienating anyone who forms part of his identity.

I realised at the same time that although I went through a phase of ostensibly "identifying with" women, children, and animals, during a period of fervent belief in radical feminism, child-rights and animal rights, I didn't actually identify with any real women or children or animals; I identified with the idea of women, and the idea of children, the idea of animals. In other words language again.

And now I see that I "identify with" Aspergers/AS/Autism in the same way, which is probably why I have been so sensitive to what the label/word is supposed to mean, and what its "function" is, ( and debated it heatedly on many occasions ). It's not the "group of people" with/diagnosed Aspergers/AS/Autism that I have been identifying with but the idea/word. And the idea/word seems to mean many different things depending on who you discuss it with, ( it is a social/cultural construct like "I" and "God" and justice, etc ), so that identifying with it for any length of time throws up one inconsistency/internal contradiction after another.

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I identify with ideas and beliefs.

I am national communist and have been since 2005. While my ideology has developed during years and become more refined and developed, I have kept steel core of values intact inside heart.

My main belief is content before form.

I believe that character is superior to petty materialist details like income, appearance and social status.

I believe that working man should rule society, not hook-nosed capitalist vermin which only thinks about enriching themselves.

I am totalitarian personality. I live according to my values, and let them govern my life.

According to New World Order, I am evil.

You also sound a bit over the edge.

...not sure about that, but possibly very offensive toward those who might recognize the implications of some of his words.

I am not child. I understand very well words I am using.

I am 200% serious and dedicated in fighting globalism, liberal democracy, and capitalism.

That will most likely mean temporary periods of massive violence.

But I do not appreciate attempt to single out me.

Sand and Ruveyn for example, are as much extremists as I am.

Sand is anti-zionist (borderline antisemite) conspiracy theorist.

Ruveyn is genocide-crazed warhog.

Yet, they do not "insult emotions of people".

I did not mean to imply otherwise. There are people who take offence with terms like 'hook nose'. I do not see how your views on capitalism need to include such tersm. This was also not my intention.

Last edited by claire-333 on 02 May 2009, 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

I imagine that was intentional. I am especially curious about those "hook-nose capitalist vermin" which I take has no reference to actual rats or cockroaches or even mosquitoes whose noses may be peculiar but definitely not Roman. I wonder what physical characteristics might be attractive in a capitalist. Perhaps the size of the ear lobes or whether the belly button is an inny or an outy. I have never heard of a study on the matter nor whether Wall Street requires a physical exam on the question before hiring.

Funny, I'm neither capitalist, nor hooknosed. Will I be spared in this almighty purge of you-know-whats, or does my bloodline and culture betray me no matter how un-beaky my nose?