Feeling worthless

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I had meltdown today because someone who is helping me find a job lost the stuff she needed to show to her boss. This contributed to an overarching sense of worthlessness I have felt ever since I saw my psych on...Wednesday, I think.

You see, he wanted to call my parents in to help them help me get a job. Things went down hill from there. The first thing he told all of us was that I could not achieve my dream (Eventually). That was to be a college professor. "Aspies," He said. "Are hired for thier brilliance. They tend to work in physics lab and have a high IQ. You're bright, Mut, but not brilliant." My parents disagreed with him. Yay for them...normally, I would be excited, but he has depressed me something terrible.

Keep in mind, I have only a mild case of asperger's. This tends to hamper me in navigating social situations, but once I pick up on the situation. I tend to be able to adopt. I obviously know what things are appropriate (you don't swear at your boss, for instance, and you do your best job with no dill-dallying at all...at the same time, if someone makes an offcolor joke, you're not supposed to repeat to your boss :-p)

I went to college and had a 3.239 GPA. Somehow, to him, this amounts to A) Having no training in research, B) having no writing skills, C) Having never held a job and D) having an, and I quote, "unremarkable resume."

My response to him is:
A) I took an information literacy course, two of them as a matter of fact, and nearly all of my classes had something to do with research. Obviously, I'm going to have to take training in doing a specific part of research (say...business research *shudders*), but it doesn't mean I have NO research skills.

B) I got a frickin' A- on my senior thesis! And you have the NERVE to tell me I have NO writing skills? How can you possibly leap to that conclusion?

C) In college, for the most part, I put in the maximum hours for work-study jobs. Additionally, I put in about 25 hours a week (someone help me with the math here...5 hours, the maximum allowed by my boss/week) at the Smithtown Historical Society. Apparently, this counts for nothing as well.

D) I don't think it's a totally "unremarkable" resume, having been in about 5 clubs (none of which I liked XP), and also having a story published in the school magazine.

Additionally, in the meeting prior, he appeared to think that the only thing I'd be good at right now are "vocational" jobs, such as sorting letters in a post office! I went to college, ffs, to get a career! Not to sit around all day long, making minimum-wage jobs. >.<

Finally, he tends to think I need a job coach. A job coach? Pardon me...I think I can do the job of, say, research, quite well. "Mut, look through databases available to you and find me data on...x...by 5:00 tonight." *5:00 rolls around* "Here you go." It doesn't take a genius to figure out what is required of you at a job.

I just need a shoulder to cry on, I guess :/

(And I think I need a new shrink)

Why do you feel the need to become a part of neurotypical society so bad? Why not aim to be above neurotypical society?
Most neurotypicals aren't brilliant. They are just average trash and their strength lies in working together as a collective organism.

Most normal, working people are actually rather stupid. They aren't especially good at anything. This goes for kindergarden teachers as well as doctors.

Also, I think your psychiatrist has issues.

Until recently, I used to give NTs way too much credit.

Well, my issues is, I did go to college on loan, so I do need to pay it back and make money and all that. I just found my shrink to be wayyy too negative.

And what do you mean, "being above NT society?"

Ah?
Your psych makes you feel bad, your parents disagree with him...
Why dont you tell him:" you're fired!"
See someone who 'lifts' your spirits ...become a professor and send him a Christmas Card :O)

Job Coach does not sound so bad though; example a lot of NT take a "Coach" to prepare them for the interviews for Medical school. If it is a free service why don't take advantage of it?

Get rich, start your own business, get good in your own unique field without being necessarily "brilliant". Make yourself a force of oppinion, regardless how much or little it contributes to society. Not everyone has to be some sort of engineer. You can become influential in many ways. Authors for example can have quite a heavy input and many view themselves as "above society", even if they wouldn't admit it.

I'm sorry that happened to you Mutanatia. Don't listen to the psych.

And it's obvious from your posts that you have very good writing skills.

I agree.

Same here.

I only just gave up trying to suppress my thought patterns and make them more NT-like.

My mind is typically AS in that it runs on one recurrent theme for ages at a time. I saw that as a 'symptom' and tried to fight it down for years to be more 'normal'. I won't do that any more.

Don't let people tell you that you can't do something. Tell your psych to screw off. What he said was utterly inappropriate.