Facing school tommorrow

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You know 1:40 AM isn't even that late for me anymore. That's what I've come to. Even if I didn't have work left to do I'd have insomnia.
My chemistry teacher never really checks homework, she just makes sure it's done. So I BS it sometimes and then learn everything in class as well as I can, and then get a c on the test if that. It makes me feel terrible. I'd do homework well, I do it when I can. But I can't seem to even think.

So much crap left to do. Today and for all of the following days. And I won't be rested for that AP test at all. I'm looking at this weird chart assignment. I can't seem to do anything but stare. I'll have a passable amount of stuff done tomorrow but I'll have no sleep and I'll have an impassible amount of work to do.
I don't know how I can even go back there tomorrow. I've always been a half assed student but now I'm in range of actually failing (if I don't get my lab reports done decently). Why the hell did i take an AP class.
The worse things get, the harder it is to fix them. And much worse my capacity to work seems to decrease. Things in science and math are all built on each other, so it's like there's a point where it is too late.
I can't even walk with proper balance.

The closer college comes the more I wonder if I should bother with it. It's what I'm expected to do. It's what I have to do. So I guess I'll do it. Maybe I'll make it, I don't know.

I blame all myself for this crap, and that's probably the most painful thing. I know I'm a bad person. It's all in the control. Now I'm wasting time. I can't sink through the floor so I'll try and not fail anymore

Anyway, I don't expect anything but apathy from you people, but I've written the words so I'll press the post button.

Hi, MidnightJudge. I'm really sorry you're feeling so stressed. You're not going to get "apathy" from me, sweetheart- I know all too well that sinking feeling you get when there's work that you haven't got done.

I think you need to talk to someone about your situation. You're not a "bad person" in any way, but you might need some help in getting organized. Most teachers would rather give you some extra help and time than see you fail. I know this- I'm a high school teacher myself. (Sorry!) You could talk to your parents, a teacher or a school counselor, but you need to talk to SOMEONE before you decide to just "sink through the floor." If you can't talk about it, send an email or write a letter. The fact that you've been diagnosed with Asperger's will probably entitle you to some sort of extra assistance anyway, so make use of it.

Don't give up just yet. And remember, school results are important, but they're not everything. Your wellbeing is a lot MORE important than your results for a few assignments, ok?

Now, go to bed, please- you need to be refreshed enough to deal with school tomorrow. Take care, Jenny.

I wouldn't call you a bad person at all. What does that even mean?