"Pushing" your partner off the bed

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Apparently when I sleep, I constantly move closer for the cuddling, as I find the pressure and heat of another body very comforting.

My BF says I keep trying to push him off the bed. He ends up sleeping right at the edge and waking me up to make me move back. I sleep poorly as a result, because I'm trying to be mindful, while sleeping, of where I am in relation to the edge of "my side" of the bed.

Does anyone else have this problem? Has anyone overcome the problem? How?

Exact same problem, on the opposite side of the equation. (to be fair to him, I'm a blanket stealer)
I solved it by slanting the bed of so slightly, it doesn't feel really noticeable (or maybe I'm just used to it) but it get's him to roll back to his own side after cuddling instead of me rolling farther to the edge and him staying in the middle.

Is there a way you could but one side of your bed against the wall? If he slept on the inside he couldn't be pushed off the edge and it might be easier to "hold his ground" if he's got the wall as leverage.

I haven't been able to some up with a perfect solution, if someone has I'd sure like it if they shared.

Are you and your bf new to cosleeping or has this been a long term issue?

First, thank you for the suggestions, I'll have to see what I can do and see if it helps ^_^ To make sure I understand completely, you slanted it on the side you sleep on, not in the middle or his side, correct? Also appx. how much of a lift did you use?

We are sort of new to co-sleeping, in that while we have been together almost a year, it's rarely more then 2 times a week that we sleep in the same bed, just because we both like alone time (well, I should say I like it, and he doesn't mind it, because it keeps the relationship from stagnating) so usually we only co-sleep on weekends.

But it has been an issue the whole time, enough that he mentions it almost every time I get a decent night's sleep while with him :p

yes, the lift is on my side about 1/4 inch (I think, not @home to measure, sorry) it took some playing with to find a medium between feeling like you're sleeping in a sky cell while still being effective. I think it would probably depend on the kind of bed too.

Ok, I was wondering if you were adjusting to it still in which case I would've been all like "oh, having another person in your bed is a weird thing to get used to wait it out a little" but that's not the case so...I can shelve that.

Oh, it sucks to have your s.o. complain about things you can't really help. If it's only on the weekends maybe you guys could have some kind of trade-off system one night for waking and shifting, one night for sleeping on a sliver at the edge of the bed? Or is there another place (sofa, 2nd bed) he could move too once you are asleep and not so much in need of cuddle comfort?

I assume the lift is under the bed frame, rather then between the mattresses? That would be fairly easy to try ^_^

Yes, there are a few other options for sleeping -I have another bed as well as a futon couch-, but he falls asleep way before I do (he was in the Army, so can now fall asleep in under 30 seconds if he's tired, whereas it's about 30 min for me, and his bed time is much earlier then mine, which adds to the problem) and I've tried leaving the room to sleep elsewhere but he usually wakes up and asks me to come back to bed (unless I leave because I have a massive headache, which is not uncommon)

I've been toying with the idea of asking him if he'd like to move in with me when I buy a house this winter, but I'm not sure I could deal with the sleep issues every day.. I almost think we'd need separate beds if we can't fix this; having one or both of us not sleeping well every night simply won't work

I do know that on a crappy futon (mine is not, fortunately/unfortunately) the bend in the middle is exactly right that half of my body can literally be under another person (found this out with an ex) and I'll sleep like a rock and not move a bit, but I don't imagine that would be terribly comfortable for the other person, and constantly being rolled that far to the middle does kinda suck if you do want some space

...what's this doing in this forum??

I didn't know where else I should put it, as it relates to dating issues..

Um, because it's a love and dating issue.
I think it's nice to talk about actual relationship stuff here instead of just the process of getting into one or drama. There are a lot of practical things involved in maintaining healthy relationships, co-sleeping (whether you do or don't, accommodating both partners) is a major one.
Discussion of relationships certainly belongs on this forum.

Define "actual relationship stuff". Co-sleeping is an issue that implies both partners are living together, which is more about living rather than dating. I think she'd get a better response on the In-Depth Adult Life Forum, since most of the people there would have already encountered a similar problem. Not to mention most of the people in this subforum are still longing to get to the stage the OP is currently at, so chances are (with the exception of the first page, maybe others down the road) the OP would have to do a lot of sifting through a series of negative posts just to find a few more perspectives on the matter.

Actual relationship stuff: things pertaining to having and maintaining a relationship, sorry if that was unclear

I wouldn't say its more about living together than dating because as far as I'm aware it's not common practice here to sleep in the same bed as a roommate. It's common practice to sleep in the same bed with a significant other.
Also in this case, the OP and her S.O. don't live together so that criticism is extra irrelevant.

It's love and dating, not just dating.
People who want to talk about issues in their love lives don't have less of a prerogative to post here than people who want to talk about trying to get a love life. That the 2nd group might maybe have sour grapes (which so far on this thread there is so evidence of) shouldn't preclude the 1st group from posting.

As for having to sift through negative responses, the only remotely negative responses so far have been from you. So it's still a hypothetical and given that the topic isn't very inflammatory (by any but the most ridiculous standards) what little faith in humanity I have left leads me to believe it's unlikely.

If your initial comment had been more along the lines of "you might get better responses over here I've noticed a lot of people over there are in a similar place right now" it would have been a lot less problematic then popping in to say "what are you doing here talking about your functional relationship, everyone else doesn't have one so...harumph harumph harumph*"

Anyway, your "concern" has been noted

*hey, I didn't get a harrumph from that guy

I am a blanket and bed stealer. My boyfriend complains but more in a jokey way. We try and start the night off with me close to the edge on my side and him cuddling me. That way even if he moves away and I 'follow' him there is still quite a bit of bed before he falls off the edge, does that make sense? We also got a duvet that is slightly bigger than the bed so I can wrap myself in it without him ending up with nothing.

We have tried this, and it certainly helps, but doesn't solve the problem, just makes it take a little longer. I've even tried sleeping with an arm or leg hanging off the bed (I find this most comfortable, especially if everything below the knees hangs off the bed) but with little impact.

Thank you for the suggestion, though ^_^ I appreciate the input on what works and what doesn't for others.

If you think it'd be better there, why not just say so from the get-go rather then make me feel bad for putting it in the "wrong" place? I'm pretty new to forums in general, in that this is the first one I've even joined, and while I've explored the site a bit, I don't have a clue what's considered appropriate for where. (I'm a very literal person, and I've had a lot of major issues with communication, as, I assume, have most of us, all I'm asking for is a bit of understanding that not *everyone* automatically knows where things "belong")

I will post it in the adult issues section, though, because it might get more responses, but if you'd read, you'd see that this, in no way, applies to co-living arrangements, as we generally only share a bed on weekends; I'm not ready to share my personal space with another human being, partly because I don't have room for another human (I have all my mom's stuff as well as my own in a 2BR apartment, I barely have room for myself), and partly because it's too new of a relationship for that to be a consideration.

I figured if I do it, others might as well, and it could potentially be valuable for anyone getting into a new relationship to know how to solve the problem if they find out they have it, as issues like that can lead to problems maintaining a relationship, which I would think would be important for all these folks who don't currently have a relationship.

You're very welcome. I hope you find something that works for you. I asked my boyfriend (NT) and he said 'All women do that. It's the price you have to pay for having a woman in your bed'. I think it's very common, it's not that you are doing something 'wrong', it's just one of life's little niggles.

I think posting your question in Love and Dating was perfectly reasonable, it's a relationship (love) issue rather than a sexual issue which is what the adult forum is usually used for.

I find it funny.. this is the only trait besides being female that all of my various partners have shared.. They ALL did this to some extent.. Are there any studies about this?

This is not uncommon. Some tips:
*Put the bed against the wall to avoid falling off.
*If you sleep opposite ways (one is a left sleeper, the other right) then you can arrange which side you both sleep so you either have your space, or are super-cuddling! Whichever you prefer.
*Bigger bed.