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 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Arguments in relationships

Posted: 09 Oct 2019, 6:12 am 

Replies: 31
Views: 4,172


Bonifaz wrote:
thank you.

Quote:
you are dealing with a theory of mind issue here.


That's a good point. Is there some sort of Sally Anne test for adults? Maybe it could be a fun way to raise the issue...
(sorry if I'm being off-topic)


https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Truth about Asperger marriage failure rates?

Posted: 25 May 2017, 3:32 pm 

Replies: 83
Views: 37,370


RangeStrider wrote:
I think I've finally figured out why my marriage is so difficult and has been the whole 12 years.
Congrats! You're still together! as you become wiser it will become better and richer - enjoy

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Truth about Asperger marriage failure rates?

Posted: 04 May 2016, 3:55 pm 

Replies: 83
Views: 37,370


Well my marriage certainly is falling apart. We haven't separated yet since it serves practical purposes like taking care of kid, less rent money, visas and so on.. what's taking it over the limit? I find often times when logic etc say it's gone, in fact it's not. there's something good there. so j...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Truth about Asperger marriage failure rates?

Posted: 23 Apr 2016, 4:54 am 

Replies: 83
Views: 37,370


It requires my concentration every day (such as I have to remind myself to ask her how she's feeling and then replace the words "I think" with "I feel" when I'm talking to her about something I'm thinking about so she doesn't think I'm trying to undermine her (when she tells me ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Truth about Asperger marriage failure rates?

Posted: 23 Apr 2016, 4:24 am 

Replies: 83
Views: 37,370


fodder1 wrote:
I'm married and my wife doesn't have AS.
cool how is it going? what techniques are working? thanks

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Truth about Asperger marriage failure rates?

Posted: 03 Sep 2015, 4:01 pm 

Replies: 83
Views: 37,370


Space wrote:
JCJC777 wrote:
aspiemike wrote:
It's not sexy to talk these things out, but neither is going through a divorce because you weren't honest with eachother about these things.


actually it can be very sexy to talk about these things; NTs love to feel they are discussing things intimately and deeply and honestly

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: A different 4 Stages of Aspergers – Where are You?

Posted: 31 Aug 2015, 5:40 am 

Replies: 78
Views: 11,457


I read an interesting blog post describing the 4 Stages of Aspergers. See http://qw88nb88.wordpress.com/2008/11/26/4-stages-you-dont-have-to-go-through/ I have included the stages below: Relief Oh, thank goodness! Things finally make sense. “Of course! Why didn’t I figure this out sooner?“ Validati...

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Research funding for Adults went down from 2008 to 2012

Posted: 31 Aug 2015, 5:28 am 

Replies: 3
Views: 423


sadly mental health is very underweight in medical research overall; c.5% of spend, against c.23% of DALYs (disability) and more of suffering (especially when collateral suffering of family included). Stigma works at many levels, including that most medical leaders are from acute (i.e. non-mental-he...

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Husband, please leave me (meltdowns)

Posted: 31 Aug 2015, 5:23 am 

Replies: 10
Views: 997


treat your life (lives - include your great husband) as an adventure to find best tools to manage/eliminate your condition;
meditation
exercise
meds
CBT, REBT
alternative
lots/little of sleep
lots/little of social
etc

explore!

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Responsibility of change

Posted: 13 Aug 2015, 10:48 am 

Replies: 20
Views: 869


goldfish21 wrote:
I agree whole heartedly.

I've spent the last few years changing myself and it's changed everything for the better.
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please tell us how you've changed yourself. thanks

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Posted: 13 Aug 2015, 10:15 am 

Replies: 66
Views: 4,009


unlearn AS. stop live analysing and post-audit analysing social interactions.

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: The 'Asperger industry', and political correctness

Posted: 13 Aug 2015, 10:09 am 

Replies: 66
Views: 6,252


aspiesavant wrote:
I do not need a cure.

I do not want a cure.



ok, so that complete self-denial is still alive and well

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Un-learning Asperger

 Post subject: Re: Un-learning Asperger
Posted: 13 Aug 2015, 10:03 am 

Replies: 88
Views: 9,872


an old thread - any new thoughts out there? my view is unchanged from when I posted this.

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Meditation - helpful?

 Post subject: Re: Meditation - helpful?
Posted: 24 Feb 2015, 12:20 pm 

Replies: 31
Views: 5,426


I've been doing meditation for years, and though I haven't got a regular practice these days, haha it's amazing how hard it is to just build into life. The TM method of 20 mins in morning and in evening seems to work for some. I like to do longer, but find the only time that works is early hours (b...

 Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion   Topic: Does social burnout ever improve?

Posted: 29 Jan 2015, 4:14 am 

Replies: 22
Views: 4,670


yes it's interesting that research shows meditators (see good live thread on WP) 'hear' their pain, but don't create narratives around it - and hence are much less hurt by it overall.
So maybe, as you say, if we accept and 'hear' the pain, it becomes less frightening and more acceptable.
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