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Message |
Forum: The Haven Topic: Why am I obsessed with fulfilling societal expectations? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 25 Feb 2025, 6:58 am
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Replies: 3
Views: 789
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| You seem to not be overly sure about what you really want, so you compare yourself to others and the "average" life experience, probably in an attempt to figure out what you "should" want. Societal expectations only matter as much as they affect you or align with your particular ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Why is being single seen as a "lesser" status by some? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 08 Nov 2024, 6:11 pm
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Replies: 14
Views: 2,516
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| Because most people prefer to be partnered, so by not being partnered despite presumably wanting to be, you're probably less satisfied, likely have lower social status and are perhaps less capable than somebody who wants a partner and has one. Many people don't view things in this way, but you asked... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: How do I rationalise these following worries ? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 23 Oct 2024, 4:41 am
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Replies: 3
Views: 380
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| They are: - Dying of something horrible sooner rather than later. - Other people dying sooner rather than later. - Feeling like time is ‘’running out’’ just because I hit a certain age/time of life. - Feeling like I’ve missed out on pleasurable activities (nightlife stuff like clubs/bars etc) I don... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How do I stop being ashamed of being 30+ and single? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 18 Sep 2024, 3:38 am
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Replies: 23
Views: 4,886
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| I personally stopped being ashamed of it when I realised that ultimately everything we are is derivative of the nature seed being planted in the nurture soil to sprout out how things eventuate. Sometimes the seed isn't planted in the right place to flourish. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Confidence is not competence. |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 13 Jul 2024, 6:28 am
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Replies: 37
Views: 6,008
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| For most NTs, the "average social skills" you are talking about is innate in their brains, which is something that many autistics lack (a f*****g mutation); so the average autistics need to practice to acquire them in a way that most NTs don't need to. Autism = Significant lack of innate ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The 1st Question We Should Be Asking Long-Term Single Member |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 29 Jun 2024, 7:09 am
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Replies: 6
Views: 5,341
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| I had a stroke 25 years ago. I was in a rehab ward for a month learning to walk, write, and talk again. I can now golf walking the course! Not only that, I can play as a foursome and make some good shots relative to the guys I'm playing with. I just wrote some big checks to repair my house and the ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: The 1st Question We Should Be Asking Long-Term Single Member |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 29 Jun 2024, 1:10 am
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Replies: 6
Views: 5,341
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| We're on an autism forum that comprises of members from many different walks of life, and occupying many different places on the spectrum. Autism is a disorder that innately hinders social functioning as a result of the way the brain is wired. We're living in a time where the rules of dating and gen... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 30 May 2024, 7:25 am
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Replies: 235
Views: 30,795
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| People can find lovers at any age, but many who are interested in dating would regard missing out on the experience while young as a serious loss. While finding someone in the present is the best possible outcome from here, and having something positive to focus on in the domain of romance may detra... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 29 May 2024, 4:28 am
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Replies: 235
Views: 30,795
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| but yeah, i will always envy and resent people who got to date and have a long-term relationship in their 20s, not everyone gets to be in love very young in life. Envy is fair enough, but resenting the people themselves isn't sensible. Resenting the fact that you missed out on having a long-relatio... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I Don't Think I'll Ever Stop Being Miserable |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 10 Apr 2024, 12:39 am
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,453
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| She wasn't the one then. Pretty much ~everyone gets rejected, has to deal with/accept/process rejection on their path to eventually clicking with someone. It's similar for other things in life, too.. like applying for 892 jobs before you get hired at one, or having sales conversations with 48 diffe... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I Don't Think I'll Ever Stop Being Miserable |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 09 Apr 2024, 10:56 pm
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,453
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| Of course it didn't work out with the lady as always. I asked her out and she said no. I don't have the stomach for all this BS in dating at this point. What I really need to be happy is for things to just click and me to meet someone who I know is interested where I don't have to be second-guessing... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I Don't Think I'll Ever Stop Being Miserable |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 03 Apr 2024, 3:15 am
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,453
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| I met someone who I know for a fact was initially interested but then lost interest when I was too awkward too many times. Unbelievable. I could possibly be mistaken about this reading. I think she might still be interested after having spoken to her again. Naturally, I'm going to give this the opp... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I Don't Think I'll Ever Stop Being Miserable |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 29 Mar 2024, 8:10 pm
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Replies: 21
Views: 2,453
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| Thanks @Sweetleaf @Issy @Jakki. I've come to realise that it's possible for women to find me attractive. Unfortunately the realisation took too long and now even when they're interested initially, a brutal combination of autism, severe depression and developmental identity issues sabotage my ability... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 22 Feb 2024, 9:36 pm
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Replies: 823
Views: 91,499
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TwilightPrincess wrote: Notice that I used the word “sometimes.” Sometimes the primary reasons are the same - shyness, atypical social skills, etc.
So we agree |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 22 Feb 2024, 9:20 pm
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Replies: 823
Views: 91,499
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| Ultimately, no one is obligated to ask anyone out if they don’t want to. If people want a partner, they need to be proactive about it. Of course. Surely you don't think I'm implying that anybody should be obligated to ask anyone else out. I'm not saying that all women need to start asking men out o... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: If you're 27 and never had a girlfriend, is it too late? |
| The Grand Inquisitor |
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Posted: 22 Feb 2024, 8:42 pm
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Replies: 823
Views: 91,499
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| Many women, including some on this site, end up alone for a long time too. They are less likely to talk about it openly for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. I acknowledge this. People of any gender can end up lonely for a variety of different reasons, and I believe we shou... |
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