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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Manly VS Feminine (wo)men, which one is more attractive? |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2016, 7:51 pm
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Replies: 11
Views: 1,263
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| The men I'm attracted to nowadays tend to have a blend of feminine and masculine traits and energy. I can be quite masculine in my thought processes and habits but am quite feminine in appearance (not so much in clothes and hairstyle) and demeanour. I would find someone who could complement that int... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: A Mask For The World |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 25 Jun 2016, 11:14 am
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Replies: 131
Views: 13,238
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| I, like most, have a mask I wear. The difference I feel is most of the people that admit to having a mask put it upon themselves. I am 42 years old but feel like a child trapped in an adult body. I did not chose to alter my behaviors to fit into society but the powers that be in my life beat me int... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Following people around the house |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 25 Jun 2016, 10:48 am
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Replies: 11
Views: 789
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| My brother, who has AS, sometimes mimics my every movement or follows me around very closely when we're out, and it can annoy the life out of me because I need my space! :D It's a comfort thing, I think, because he can feel very exposed outside. It's only a temporary annoyance, though. We're great p... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Any connections with strabismus and apergers? |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 25 Jun 2016, 10:42 am
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Replies: 24
Views: 9,295
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| I have strabismic amblyopia and my brother has amblyopia. We both went through years of eye patches and being berated by doctors for not "trying hard enough". Eventually my strabismus was corrected through surgery, but it didn't do anything for my vision. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How would your dream guy/woman be like? |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 21 Jun 2016, 8:03 am
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Replies: 116
Views: 8,247
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| I'd like a Hunny who can cook and shoot; one that is cute and a hoot; and one that has a decent job to boot! Hey, that rhymes! :mrgreen: Oh yes, someone who could cook would be great! I can bake a little but my cookery isn't so good. I'm also going to add a love of bookshops to my list, and a love ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: How would your dream guy/woman be like? |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 19 Jun 2016, 8:06 pm
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Replies: 116
Views: 8,247
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| At my age I've become more broadminded in terms of looks, although I do have an instinctual bias against balding and facial hair due to past associations. The two main criteria would be 1) intelligence and intellectual curiosity and 2) someone who makes me feel secure enough to be myself around them... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Fake nice guys! |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 11 Jun 2016, 8:14 pm
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Replies: 46
Views: 3,309
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| Society deems passivity to be a virtue, but the problem is that passivity can hide a spectrum of characteristics from lack of confidence all the way to covert viciousness. It's understandable, if incorrect, that people of both sexes should assume that their behaviour is "nice" as long as i... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: NT and Asperger Bad Breakup |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 11 Jun 2016, 3:41 pm
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Replies: 17
Views: 2,081
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sessy_kiss wrote: Can a Mod come and delete this thread for me?
It's been brought to their attention, hopefully they should look at it soon.
It's very easy for sociopaths/narcissists to fool empathetic people by adopting a vulnerable/avoidant/poor-me persona. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Anything random to say about your crush/love/relationship? |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 10 Jun 2016, 4:54 pm
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Replies: 1,592
Views: 88,437
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| I wish I could read you better. |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I met a really sweet girl. I feel guilty about dating her. |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 02 Jun 2016, 9:26 am
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Replies: 43
Views: 8,179
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| While this girl may have limitations of her own, given her age 22, it's highly unlikely that she'll be anything like my friends' girlfriends. That's where the feeling of safety/lack of threat is coming from. If that's bad, oh well, I don't really care at this point. I want to have a relationship wh... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I met a really sweet girl. I feel guilty about dating her. |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 02 Jun 2016, 2:59 am
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Replies: 43
Views: 8,179
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| Aspie1, on whether it's wrong to be attracted by someone you find non-threatening, I would suggest that, on the contrary, it may show emotional growth. Adrenaline and fluttery feelings are very fun (or annoying) but more mature relationships often (not always, but often) start off with more of a mix... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Don't expect someone to love you |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 30 May 2016, 5:42 pm
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Replies: 76
Views: 3,129
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| If I could tell myself something at age twenty, it would be that I shouldn't look to NTs as an example of how relationships should be or expect to be at the same level at that age. I'd like to have known that it would be a long road and I would need to pick up a lot of experience of the world and of... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Tactics of Manipulation Abusers Use On Women |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 30 May 2016, 5:27 pm
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Replies: 27
Views: 1,781
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| Unfortunately, my brother is in an abusive relationship at the moment. He's so stubborn that there's nothing we can do to help him except facilitate him should he wish to leave. As is mine. He is actually coming to town soon and I am debating if it's worth my while to talk to him about what I see. ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie/aspie (non)dating |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 30 May 2016, 8:44 am
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Replies: 16
Views: 1,247
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| The anxiety comes down to two major factors: 1. Lack of information - i.e. inability to read the other person's signals and body language due to my own incapacity and the other person's ambivalence. This is unexpected and even frightening, because most people will launch into some kind of social be... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Tactics of Manipulation Abusers Use On Women |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 30 May 2016, 6:40 am
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Replies: 27
Views: 1,781
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| People with ASD are particularly vulnerable to abuse from those who are able to hide their intentions well. I would leave if anyone insulted or tried to hit me, but my father was a narcissist and I've always been vulnerable to people with personality disorders due to their specific type of psycholog... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Aspie/aspie (non)dating |
| E V Tooms |
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Posted: 28 May 2016, 6:09 pm
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Replies: 16
Views: 1,247
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| Thanks, hurtloam and rdos, for your responses, which have given me two very helpful perspectives. I am impressed at how you both identified the issue so accurately given that I described it in such broad terms. Writing it down has helped too. The anxiety comes down to two major factors: 1. Lack of i... |
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