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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 14 Jan 2023, 2:58 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| Thank you for asking. My cat is still very fragile...... breathing, but only just. He doesn't need the oxygen machine as of right now but I still gotta keep an eye on him in case things take a turn. He's definitely not out of the woods yet. The people I gravitate toward are quirky creative types lik... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 14 Jan 2023, 11:37 am
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| How do you know this? She has never been diagnosed with any kind of disability, nor I have ever seen evidence of her possessing cognitive/social challenges. I've known her very well for years and have been around her in numerous contexts. I think it's dangerous to project autistic qualities onto pe... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 14 Jan 2023, 12:09 am
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| I hope I do, too. But I just honestly don't know if there's anything I can do to meet nicer people. After I stopped being friends with her, I went out and tried to make new friends but nobody was interested. The only person willing to talk to me was this awful woman who I now know doesn't give a fly... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 11:40 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| Nevertheless, I wonder if she was unprepared to handle the specific requests you made. Did you discuss with her, beforehand, the specific things you were likely to need her to do? There is definitely no question whatsoever about her ability to navigate a GPS. She uses her phone to get her around th... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 3:28 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| Question: Are these the only two plans you and she ever made to get together? If not, how many times did the two of you ever succeed in getting together? Your original post gave me the impression that you and she never succeeded in getting together again after the event at which you first met. Is t... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 12:30 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| However, I can understand why she didn't want to look at your phone the entire time because it sounds like she was looking to enjoy the trip with you on the road. So she was looking to enjoy the trip with..... me doing all the unpleasant work and her just sitting back enjoying the ride? She wanted ... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 12:00 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| Based on what you said in your first post, I got the impression that she was saying item #2 above, but that you interpreted it (perhaps incorrectly?) as item #1. I notice that you mentioned only item #2 in your paraphrase of what she herself said, and that you mentioned item #1 only in your paraphr... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 11:13 am
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| (2) that you shouldn't be making social plans in the first place, as long as you have a cat with a chronic health condition that makes you highly likely to need to cancel plans? I didn't cancel because my cat was chronically unwell in general and I'd rather dote on my cat than go to someone's party... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 13 Jan 2023, 5:43 am
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| This wasn't a one-on-one hangout. This was a small dinner party which was not in any way dependent on my attendance in order to happen. Yet she still begrudged me my cat's health needs. The idea that a dinner party could be more important than my cat's life is nothing short of sickening. I do unders... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Why do I keep attracting such selfish friends? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 12 Jan 2023, 2:45 pm
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Replies: 39
Views: 1,786
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| I'm feeling sooooo sh***y right now. My cat has been severely ill all week and I lost a friend today. I have always really struggled to make friends and in the rare cases that I do, they always turn out to be incredibly selfish and need to have everything on their terms. I know that "selfish&qu... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Would you date a criminal (a person having a record)? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 08 Oct 2022, 8:44 pm
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Replies: 60
Views: 3,636
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| It would really depend on the nature of the crime, how long ago it was and whether or not they were likely to re-offend. Anyone who has a history of sexual violence would be an automatic no for me. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Coping with the loss of a best friend |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 08 Oct 2022, 11:00 am
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Replies: 26
Views: 781
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| I keep having dreams about her -- dreams about her apologizing, dreams about her screwing me over, dreams about her rejecting me and hurting me again..... Last night I had another dream about her, and as soon as I woke up, details about her behavior on the trip that I'd forgotten suddenly started co... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Coping with the loss of a best friend |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 28 Sep 2022, 12:21 pm
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Replies: 26
Views: 781
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| It's been about 3 months and I know I should be over it, because I know she definitely is. But this feels like a really hard thing to move on from because she was the only friend I ever had. I first met her in acting class about 3 years ago. For quite some time, it was an amazing friendship. She rec... |
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Forum: Politics, Philosophy, and Religion Topic: What did JK Rowling do wrong? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 28 Sep 2022, 11:11 am
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Replies: 237
Views: 13,620
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| I don't think that JK Rowling did anything really bad initially. The problem is her CONTINUAL need to fight with trans activists online. It's not helping anyone..... it's not helping women, it's not helping trans people and it's most definitely not helping her. If she had just shut up about the issu... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: how to turn acquaintance into friend without seeming needy? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 28 Sep 2022, 11:05 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 683
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| Are you still in NYC? (I live in Queens.) I live in Manhattan. What kind of connection do you have with the mutual buddy? How long have you known the mutual buddy, and how well-established is your friendship with that person? Are there any specific interests, hobbies, or recreational activities tha... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: how to turn acquaintance into friend without seeming needy? |
| SummerAndSmoke |
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Posted: 27 Sep 2022, 10:29 am
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Replies: 5
Views: 683
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| Throughout most of my life, I had absolutely ZERO friends. Almost all of my attempts at friendship were very one-sided (me making all the effort and them not showing they care on any level) and it has taken a toll on me. When I moved to NYC, I became best friends with this girl, but eventually she b... |
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