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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2019, 11:49 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| You were talking about taking away his computer privileges. My question is what does he use his computer for. You mentioned that you encouraged him to get on Aspie chat-lines and boards but he does not want to have anything to do with them. You mentioned that he loves computer games. There are many... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 19 Feb 2019, 3:56 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| The problem we have now is how to deal with this situation. It seems there are differing views whoever you speak to. Like I said, in the past we've tried it all. The softly softly approach and it hasnt work to be honest. He just takes it as a free ride. We've sat him down many many times and calmly ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 17 Feb 2019, 4:25 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| If you believe that computer addiction is the source of his problems (and it sounds like it is indeed a big factor in his behaviour) I would suggest finding a therapist with experience helping people with behavioural rather than substance addiction. He basically needs to go through detox and rehab ... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 16 Feb 2019, 6:31 pm
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| UPDATE Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows. His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset. Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider s... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 16 Feb 2019, 6:22 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| UPDATE Hes here but keeping out of everyone way in his bedroom. Probably best. Hes not asked for his PC back - he knows. His mother is recovering. Badly bruised but nothing broken. She is very upset. Spoke to his CAMHS psychiatrist. Made an appointment for a weeks time. He said we should consider so... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 16 Feb 2019, 6:07 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| ... It's like the roach motel. Once you get into the cycle of social services/police, it's very hard to get out. ... Well, isn't it a roach motel from very the beginning? Parents want to solve the issues only when the issues happen. But that's the wrong moment! When people do that, it shows a total... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 16 Feb 2019, 5:59 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| I would appeal to the kid to at least try to better behave himself. And ask him why he gets so upset like that. He's 15-years-old, and not cognitively affected, so he can respond to somebody reasoning with him when he is calm. I would have liked a little bit of that when I was a kid. I used to be t... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 8:51 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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jimmy m wrote: I would recommend Somatic Experiencing Therapy. This website appears to show the practitioners operating in the U.K. Find a SE Trauma Therapist
Thanks never heard of it  |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 7:01 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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Spoke to CAMHS (youth mental health service in the uk) (who are useless again - no change).
They said phone the police or refer to social services is all they can do?
Has anyone gone down either of these paths? How did it work out? |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 4:44 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| You know, I don't think he cognitively does not know what he does. But I suspect he emotionally can't get with it. I used to be a lying child. I have a lying 6yo myself. It's tricky but manageable - because I remember being on her place. So, cognitively, you know what is true. But emotions are powe... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 3:56 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| It sounds like he really needs to learn some emotional regulation. I struggle with that myself at times and did as a teenager especially, but at the same time I knew I couldn't get away with behaving towards my parents the way your son is behaving towards you. Have you thought about family therapy,... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 3:12 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| It sounds like he really needs to learn some emotional regulation. I struggle with that myself at times and did as a teenager especially, but at the same time I knew I couldn't get away with behaving towards my parents the way your son is behaving towards you. Have you thought about family therapy,... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 1:51 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| If he's only reacting in this aggressive violent way when he's done something that he knows is wrong and he's lying about it, I really don't think it's a meltdown you're dealing with. It sounds more like a tantrum. Unless your son is cognitively challenged he knows when he's done something he's not... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 15 Feb 2019, 1:43 am
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| Discipline. Discipline. Discipline. Taking away PC privileges is a good, non-violent form of punishment, but make sure you stick to it consistently and lay down ground rules about how the punishment is applied. If you fail to change his behaviour this way, then increase the length of time for which... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 14 Feb 2019, 4:57 pm
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| As I mentioned earlier, escalated a bit again earlier. Son got home and wife told he was still banned. One thing led to another and he shoved her flying over a chair. Shes got bruises on her back, banged her head, suspected broken wrist. I'm picking her up from hospital later (had to bring 5 year ol... |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Lying and aggression from 15 yr old - is this the Aspergers? |
| paulfoel |
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Posted: 14 Feb 2019, 4:53 pm
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Replies: 52
Views: 2,092
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| From my perspective, which is lacking because I do not even know what experiences your 15 year old son has encountered over the years, the problem is related to stress rather than behavior. If you can help reduce his stress load (primarily the stress energy stored in his muscles and nervous system)... |
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