| Author |
Message |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 05 May 2024, 12:10 pm
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
Double Retired wrote: Chiliwailer wrote: Thank you, I feel on the same page  I understand that your bride and you are both going to be going through a stressful "adventure." We're available to compare notes.
Thank you, that’s very kind, and appreciated  |
|
 |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 05 May 2024, 12:09 pm
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| I guess they are offering free emotional support, to a limited degree depending on the relationship. Sometimes it means they cut you off and hug you then leave, other times they listen for a bit and offer basic problem solving and empathy. In general for me I do talk through things, but honestly it... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 12:14 pm
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| ^ Maybe sometimes it's meant like that. But I think there are times when it just means what it says, and that it can be sincere reassurance that you're welcome to lean on them. Absolutely, i agree :) What I meant, and took from the comment, is that it can be another observation of how I’m different... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 2:42 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| I'm with you on this one. I don't know if it's an autistic thing or if it's just me, but 'I'm here if you need to talk about it' has always sounded to me like 'You should be talking about it - it's what normal people do.' Of course, almost nobody actually ever means it that way. ' Thanks, 100% agre... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Too old for family? |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 2:28 am
|
|
Replies: 6
Views: 4,006
|
| I really respect your closeness to your family, no matter what age you are, 21 or 101 :) Each of us have different experiences growing up, and with our families. So if people judge you, I see that as their ignorance or blinkered perception. Attachment theory is interesting. I wonder if reading about... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: What is Autism? |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 2:19 am
|
|
Replies: 4
Views: 8,979
|
| I hear what you’re saying. This recent book may answer a lot of your questions and put your mind at rest. If you buy it, get this green cover version, the blue one is for diagnosis professionals - though I aim to read that too soon https://www.routledge.com/Is-This-Autism-A-Guide-for-Clinicians-and-... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 12:45 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| . A lot of the times when I hear that phrase "I'll be here for you" it's usually been a lie so I don't even bother. Maybe that's a little pessimistic but I find that it's best to be selective when it comes to sharing things with others. Especially subjects that are very sensitive. Thank y... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 12:40 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| Since I am talking about my bride's medical history I did not want to join the discussion until she did. And, yes, as a husband who's bride had breast cancer, I agree, being there for her is top priority. - I tried to keep life "normal". Including trying to get her to act normal, do her c... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 04 May 2024, 12:39 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| I come at this from the opposite side - I went through the entire gamut of breast cancer-related experiences as a ND (ADHD) and my support system (you may know him as Double Retired) was my ASD spouse. I talked to my other support system people, but I spent most of my time talking with him. Or just... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 12:49 pm
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| In some areas, there are charities for those who have been afflicted by breast cancer. Groups and so on of people who have been afflicted by breast cancer and are in recovery and who wish to seek out, support, compassion and those who have a lived-experience of breast cancer. It is worth researchin... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 12:05 pm
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
IsabellaLinton wrote: I bet you're a very good listener. .
Just had a delayed processing moment… You’re kind of right, the irony is that friends and colleagues always open up to me, and I’m happy to listen 95% of the time. Other 5% is when I’m overloaded and just need silence and space, so delay the chat. |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 11:53 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| I bet you're a very good listener. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to be part of the process. Go to doctors with her when you can. Encourage her to talk to you or whoever she trusts. Listen. Stay on top of appointment scheduling and do a bit of research for second opinions, a... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 11:50 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| Sorry to hear about your wife's health problem. Hope it turns out well. My wife had cancer a few years ago but after an operation and therapy we're cautiously optimistic that it's gone for good. I'm OK about a friend offering me the option of talking to them about a problem, though I've never been ... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 11:22 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| I'm really sorry about your wife's diagnosis. It sounds like you're a strong team and you'll be supporting her the best ways you can, along with her doctors. Does she feel the same way about "Here for a chat", or is it something she likes but you don't? Personally, I don't open up to many... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: When people say ‘here if you need to talk about it’ |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 03 May 2024, 10:38 am
|
|
Replies: 23
Views: 11,391
|
| My wife received a breast cancer diagnosis today. Friends and family have text me to say ‘here if you want to talk’. This is of course very kind of them. However, although I get how talking helps some people, it’s always been pointless to me, and I’ve been through quite a bit in my life. Regarding m... |
|
|
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: My apology letter about encouragement of Activism of Care |
| Chiliwailer |
|
Posted: 09 Jan 2024, 1:11 pm
|
|
Replies: 5
Views: 28,527
|
Just want to say that I fully respect your reflection, remorse, and honesty.
From experience, I think if you can learn and move on, as a more informed and thoughtful person, then you’ll be ok down the line. Time heals. Balance your guilt with the humbleness of your original post perhaps? |
|
|
| Sort by: |
