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Message |
Forum: The Haven Topic: Wrong Planet Indeed *possible tw -> suicide, self harm |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 21 Nov 2019, 6:40 am
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Replies: 17
Views: 449
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| Hi In my family there is a lot of undiagnosed ASD, as well as suicides over four generations. Hm. At your age I also felt utterly alienated from my surroundings and was extremely depressed and confused. In my country there was no awareness of ASD or applicable therapies, advice etc. Absolutely zero.... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Coping with suicide of my son? (trigger alert - not graphic) |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 21 Jan 2019, 2:09 am
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Replies: 13
Views: 686
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| thank you for your replies and ideas. I do a lot of physical work and exercise which helps and monitor my heart rate and sleep with a fitbit. I am not usually interested in gadgets, but it reminds me I am still alive and not to fool myself with how much sleep I'm getting. It also has a short guided ... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Coping with suicide of my son? (trigger alert - not graphic) |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 18 Jan 2019, 2:34 am
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Replies: 13
Views: 686
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| I am looking for ways to cope with the suicide of my son. He moved out in October, returned in December and killed himself a week later, aged 17. There were a number of reasons for this; he was grieving over his father, his girlfriend had left him, he had crashed his car and quit his job. He also wa... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: The 'No Children' question |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 31 Oct 2018, 3:45 am
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Replies: 39
Views: 2,585
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| I had 2 kids before I found out I had ASD. I would have to agree with czarsmom; motherhood was almost impossibly difficult for me also. It was also extremely difficult for my children. Cue the remainder of my life, spent in regret. Basically, I have come to the conclusion that having kids is not a s... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: If you knew then what you know now |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 29 Oct 2018, 3:15 am
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Replies: 46
Views: 1,497
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| I would have advised myself to join a Buddhist monastery. No money, no kids, no complex social structures. Simple tasks, mindful routine, and plenty of quiet time to contemplate the vastness of time, space, existence etc. Come to think of it..... that high school career quiz did come up with "r... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Is the cultural picture as grim as I'm thinking? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 24 Jun 2018, 4:36 am
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Replies: 18
Views: 898
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| Hm, interesting interpretations there.... Regarding the idea that "red pill" is a preferred colour; that is not my point at all. In fact, many times in my life I wished I was part of the "blue pill" majority, whose lives seemed much easier, happier and more successful. They just ... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Is the cultural picture as grim as I'm thinking? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 22 Jun 2018, 7:06 am
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Replies: 18
Views: 898
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| oh.... so you've taken the red pill.... In short; yes, human society is precisely Hunger Games-lite... humanity gave rise to the story, after all. Now for ideas about how to survive it..... for those of you who enjoy reading... I work in middle-management type roles. After finding my arts degree use... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: How do you handle shut downs and withdrawals |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 23 Mar 2017, 7:15 am
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Replies: 11
Views: 1,303
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| I have a way of feeling shutdown happening in my body, which is like a wave. The wave is a physical pressure that starts lower in my thighs, and moves upward. When it reaches my throat, is when I can't talk or interact, and I will withdraw totally. At that point there is nothing in my mind, it is ut... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Coming to a level of understanding with NT spouse |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 23 Mar 2017, 6:42 am
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Replies: 15
Views: 1,916
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| Hi I can relate to your difficulties in this situation, as my partner of 6 years (and father to our daughter) dumped me after I found out I was on the autistic spectrum. Admittedly our relationship was not in great shape, but I thought it was salvageable and was willing to put in effort to improve i... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: manipulation or misunderstanding? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2017, 11:00 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 866
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| thank you for this feedback, indeed keeping up with the conversation is something I am working on... so that I can respond more in "real time", rather than recording and revisiting the discussion afterward (even immediately afterward). What I have noticed, when I do question his statements... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: manipulation or misunderstanding? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2017, 6:08 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 866
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| thank you for your question: "May I ask, does this only happen when you ask him to clarify "problematic" statements which you feel a lot of emotion about or also with more neutral confusing statements?" The answer to this is that there is a wide range of situations in which this ... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: manipulation or misunderstanding? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2017, 4:15 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 866
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| Thanks for your reply. I have read about (and experienced) gaslighting, and it does seem a possibility in this case. However, I don't want to assume that it is gaslighting, when it could be something else that I am unfamiliar with. For example, talking in a dissociated state as a result of PTSD. Doe... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: manipulation or misunderstanding? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 01 Mar 2017, 6:33 am
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Replies: 6
Views: 866
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| Hi I would appreciate some feedback about communication issues; in particular how to differentiate between manipulative behaviour compared to misunderstanding. Also, people's emotional defense strategies. In other words, what counts as dangerous, what is mutual confusion, and what is their (generall... |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Jobs for autistic people? |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 05 Jan 2015, 3:14 am
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Replies: 28
Views: 2,858
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| I work in mechanical engineering (trade, not theoretical). I work in a small company making gearboxes for modern rally cars and classic motorcycles, which people refurbish for racing. I work in assembly and also middle-management of the workshop. I have very little interest in car or motorcycle raci... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Dismayed By Lack of Adult Support |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 02 May 2014, 4:17 pm
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Replies: 57
Views: 15,666
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| Hi. I agree with Tomas73, that practical help and advocacy, rather than "support group" assistance is beneficial. I live in New Zealand, where autism/AS is not, er, how to say this..... as much in the news as in the USA and Europe. The population is much smaller, and people here tend to have a black... |
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Forum: In-Depth Adult Life Discussion Topic: Do your kids a favor and dont have them |
| manBrain |
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Posted: 01 May 2014, 11:40 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 2,510
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| Hi. I think a greater concern is the ability of the autistic parent as a parent, rather than the possibility that the autistic parent has an autistic child. After all, in any pregnancy there is a chance that the child will have a "disability". However, the parent with autism already has it for sure,... |
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