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Message |
Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 27 May 2018, 5:30 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Glad Kraftie cleared up the cattery thing for you Aspie Dad! I'm not doing too well. The suicidal ideation has been getting the better of me, and I self harmed quite seriously last night to try to make it stop - consequently I am in hospital today for treatment of my injury. I'm hoping I'll be disch... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 23 May 2018, 4:24 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Hi YellowBannana. Are you still on your vacation? Just got home today. The weather was nice and the food was good, but being with my parents for that length of time was challenging, and the suicidal thoughts never waned. I am pleased to be home and looking forward to my cat being returned from the ... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 13 May 2018, 1:08 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Hi YellowBannana? When's your vacation coming up? I hope it's a good break for you! My holiday is now :D I have been in Greece the last few days enjoying the weather, family and good food. But also my suicidal ideation has been pretty strong which is horrible when I'm trying to enjoy myself and rel... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 04 May 2018, 12:33 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Glad you're seeing someone who hopefully understands self harm from your perspective. Since my diagnoses I've come to realise that my obsessive behavour (contamination) is my way of coping with my anxiety, (one that forces me into a distance from other people). Does self harm do a similar thing for... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 29 Apr 2018, 9:39 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| I don't mean to berate, but it's time for an update! Sorry, was just watching the A-Team. At least I didn't say "fool". Hehe. This week has been a little up and a lot down. Had my initial meeting with my key worker at the self-harm service. She was very nice and explained that she was pee... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Thanks Samaritans for treating me like dirt |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 25 Apr 2018, 4:10 am
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Replies: 11
Views: 282
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I'm sorry you have had bad experiences with Samaritans. I have used them but only by text - I really struggle with the phone. Sometimes I don't find them helpful, sometimes I do. But I've never felt they've treated me badly.
I'm glad you enjoyed the art gallery. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now? |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 23 Apr 2018, 3:18 pm
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Replies: 35,433
Views: 1,892,588
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2018, 1:58 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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fluffysaurus wrote: Glad you're feeling a bit better than last night. Where are you going on holiday?
Southern Greece. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 22 Apr 2018, 2:47 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Thanks Anthracite - definitely not intruding. I didn't sleep well but did manage to get some, and in the periods when I was awake I was having a text conversation with Samaritans which was helpful. I'm still feeling very low and suicidal but the urge to do myself serious harm that I had last night s... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 21 Apr 2018, 6:39 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| I feel so low tonight. I have so f****d up my life. I'm trying to look to a possible future by investigating college, but the reality is I have no future. My parents are taking me on holiday in a couple of weeks time and I'm trying to get as far as that, but tonight it has been really difficult to f... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 21 Apr 2018, 12:56 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Unfortunately the next lot of courses at the college don't start until August/September so I can't get involved there. I have my supported work placement on a Tuesday morning and may be able to pick up another shift (I was doing 2 shifts before I went to prison on remand). My support workers are try... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 20 Apr 2018, 10:42 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| I've had a mixed week. I've not been sleeping well because I keep having nightmares about going back to prison. I spoke to the CJSW about it yesterday, and she assured me there would be no way she would recommend a custodial sentence for me when she prepares her report for the court in August. I kno... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I could use some encouragement RE: P.T. Clinicals |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 10:34 am
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Replies: 97
Views: 2,260
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| Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Aspie Dad |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 14 Apr 2018, 8:26 am
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Just checking in. Been struggling quite a lot and not had much to say. I did email the college on Wednesday and they wrote back asking about my availability for a face-to-face guidance meeting, which I responded to but am still waiting for them to get back to me with a date and time for the meeting.... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 10 Apr 2018, 2:02 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| I think she's supposed to be sentenced in August. If she gets a conditional discharge, she won't get a criminal record. August! All that uncirtainty doesn't help anything or anyone :evil: A conditional discharge is extremely unlikely, especially as a I pleaded guilty. The most likely outcome is a C... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm such a f**k up |
| YellowBanana |
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Posted: 09 Apr 2018, 12:51 pm
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Replies: 162
Views: 3,799
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| Have had a mixed few days since I last updated this thread - been feeling really low and suicidal again, but at the same time have been really over-focusing on trying to sort out any possible future. It's like the sorting it out is touched by guilt over upsetting others with my death and that is dri... |
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