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Message |
Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Marriage: he says "not ready", I don't get it.. |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 15 Jun 2012, 9:19 pm
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Replies: 26
Views: 10,459
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| There are lots of things that people can want 'someday' but not right at that moment? Many people know for CERTAIN they want to have children- in the future. I know for sure I want to do a parachute jump- when I am ready and mentally prepared. It's not that I doubt the thing that I want, I just need... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Sudden switches in behaviour- NT very confused!! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 15 Jun 2012, 8:52 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,454
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| I really want to think that (not that he's depressed or in a bad mood, but that he just needs space and that it's not personal) but I really can't help but feel that it's something that I've done- it's an awfully big coincidence that he started acting this way right after I expressed to him that I w... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Sudden switches in behaviour- NT very confused!! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 15 Jun 2012, 8:22 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,454
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| I dunno, I feel like giving up is my only option right now, it has been five years. I have been through the process before, and it is really difficult. When you get close to someone and get used to spending time with them, it is really difficult to know that they will cut things off for an unknown p... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Sudden switches in behaviour- NT very confused!! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 14 Jun 2012, 7:17 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,454
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| hmmm yeah thanks. I think, the 'needing space' i can totally understand, but as I said, he is still as social, just not with me. I've left him be pretty much, for around a month, and I dunno, it just seems to be getting worse and worse :-/ Incidentaly, around a month ago, I expressed to him that I w... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Sudden switches in behaviour- NT very confused!! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 13 Jun 2012, 9:38 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,454
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| yeah I dunno- I can understand if he gets caught up in his stuff and wants to be alone or is busy with work stuff etc, but generally, I find that in the quiet periods, he still continues to socialize- just not with me, so it doesn't seem like he needs 'quiet time'. If I ask the reason, I generally e... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Sudden switches in behaviour- NT very confused!! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 13 Jun 2012, 9:03 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 1,454
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| I don't really know if this is a common AS trait, but my AS friend will suddenly switch behaviour, and not see it, and not understand why it's alarming. For example- he will go through a period (let's say, 3 months or so) of communicating every day, and seeking my company very frequently, to then su... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I don't think I've given up... |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 12 Jun 2012, 8:39 pm
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Replies: 2
Views: 529
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| hmmm, it sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. It sounds that a big part of the problem is that he is addicted to computer games, and that the problems that are being thrown up in the relationship can pretty much be accounted for by the addiction- his lack of interest in anything else, his ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Friends don't like my boyfriend |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 10 Jun 2012, 8:56 pm
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Replies: 19
Views: 5,215
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| I have been, and am still at times, in a very similar situation. One friend in particular, who has seen me through the relationship from the very beginning (a few years) is at the moment very angry at me for continuing with it, due to similar reasons as yourself- that I confided in her when times we... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I screwed up a good chance of getting a girlfriend! |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 09 Jun 2012, 8:49 pm
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Replies: 13
Views: 2,222
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| If you were not attracted to her initially, then that is something that is very unlikely to have changed, unfortunately. It's hard enough to manage a relationship when you ARE, EXTREMELY attracted to a person, so I think the chances of you having been able to maintain one, with someone who you didn'... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: NT chooses AS |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 08 Jun 2012, 5:56 pm
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Replies: 25
Views: 3,382
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| I'm an NT who has chosen to be in a relationship (of sorts) with an AS man- I knew pretty much from the beginning (it's been around 5 years, though not consistently) that he had Aspergers, although I didn't fully know what it would entail. While there are some things that I do just kind of have to a... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Alone Time |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 07 Jun 2012, 10:58 am
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Replies: 20
Views: 2,349
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| NicoleG & Night_Shade917: Thanks :-D I kind of have been trying to do that a bit more recently, and it seems to be working okay :-) I'm just not used to being the initiator of things in any of my social interactions, and it does kind of feel like nagging (I have friends who will ask and ask and ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I think I dropped the ball... |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 07 Jun 2012, 10:49 am
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Replies: 25
Views: 2,824
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| In my own situation, I didn't reject the person, so obviously, it's quite different- but I do understand why she could be confused. You mention that she said 'I didn't want to drag you down something'- perhaps she felt the first time that she was pushing you to do something that you weren't comforta... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Alone Time |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 07 Jun 2012, 3:34 am
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Replies: 20
Views: 2,349
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| I do find this one of the more difficult aspects of knowing how to act with my AS friend. Often if I feel that I have been asking for too much time or contact, I will ease up and wait to hear from him, so as to give him space. I often will say 'oh, if you feel like company, let me know'. Then I may ... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: I think I dropped the ball... |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 07 Jun 2012, 3:26 am
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Replies: 25
Views: 2,824
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| As an NT who has KIND of been in her situation, I wouldn't say that all is lost. Firstly, she may have felt rejected the first time around, and be worried that it might happen again- you may be thinking that your signals are very clear to her, and that it's obvious what you want from her, or that yo... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Ways of dealing with/improving relationsips |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 06 Jun 2012, 11:34 am
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Replies: 1
Views: 628
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| Does anyone here have any specific ways or systems for improving relationships (most likely NT/AS ones, but any other). One NT in some post mentioned that she wrote down all the nice things that her AS boyfriend had said/done so that she didn't need to keep doubting his intentions and asking for rea... |
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Forum: Love and Dating Topic: Here is photo of me...am I attractive , soso, cute, ugly? |
| sinkorswim5493 |
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Posted: 06 Jun 2012, 10:30 am
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Replies: 161
Views: 19,270
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| Okay, I only read the first couple of pages, so apologies if I'm repeating what others said, but here goes: Firstly, you look better in the first picture. Your face is attractive enough- a little sharp looking, but many people like that. If I was flicking through a bunch of pictures, I would persona... |
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