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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Help again - food issues |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 15 Dec 2012, 4:43 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,351
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| They are only coming for about 3 hours en route to somewhere else. We are spending Christmas with my parents who he normally gets on with. Last year we hosted Christmas for his parents and he managed to hold it together so I don't really understand why this is such a big deal. It is affecting the ch... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Help again - food issues |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 15 Dec 2012, 4:20 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,351
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| I agree, he should take responsibility. But what do I do when he isn't and his not doing so is negatively affecting our children? |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Help again - food issues |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 15 Dec 2012, 4:05 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,351
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| These types of over-reaction to things relating to cleanliness are common. I have replaced many sets of plates etc over the years. I even drove 50 miles when 37 weeks pregnant once to get a new set because he hadn't eaten in a week and wouldn't accept a set bought from any of the local towns. I stil... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Help again - food issues |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 15 Dec 2012, 3:43 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,351
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| You guys were really helpful before so I hope you don't mind me coming back. I am not on the spectrum; I believe my husband has Aspergers. It's not diagnosed as he doesn't think there is anything unusual about any of his behaviours and so he won't see his GP about it. I really think he needs to as I... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 15 Jul 2012, 1:44 am
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| Just wanted to say thanks to all for advice, it really helped. I will stick around, I think and see if I can offer another NT perspective where needed! (According to the Aspie test, I am 24/200 Aspie and 176 NT, so I think that's quite categorical! I think most of the Aspie traits were down to my co... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: My Crumbling AS/NT Marriage |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 2:53 pm
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Replies: 31
Views: 4,738
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I agree this is more than AS.
But I am not sure I agree someone who was AS would not go to a whorehouse. Surely it's the classic way for relations without small talk? Doesn't matter how socially inept you are, as long as you hand over the cash, your lady of the night won't complain. |
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Forum: Parents' Discussion Topic: Guardianship of our daughter. |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 1:36 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 1,369
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| I think you are worrying more than you need to at this stage. You have an appointment with the lawyer, nothing has been set in stone as yet. All you need to do is say to your wife 'Can we talk some more about the guardianship of our daughter? I'm not sure I am happy with X because.... What do you th... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 1:30 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| The store no longer did the original set so I had to get a different set but I got two so we had a spare. I could see he wasn't 100% happy it wasn't the same set but he didn't make a big deal about it. It wasn't all plain sailing though. When we agreed on a solution, he seemed to think 'sorted' and ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 12:01 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| OK well we seem to have found a solution to this particular meltdown and he actually came up with it himself, which I'm somewhat in shock about. Normally the meltdowns either end with me giving in or with a very gradual thawing. After he'd blown out my first proposed compromise, I came back with ano... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 3:21 am
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| I don't think he thinks he is lucky to have me! I suggested a solution. I suggested we go together to the store, I buy a new set of sandwich boxes and he buy some ant bait which we also need. He said what about the flour. I said what flour. He said the flour he used to make the bread he 'had to' thr... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 2:10 am
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| Something just occurred to me that kind of validates what's been said. He never had a job before he met me. When he met me, he was 27 and on the dole having dropped out of a PhD because he didn't get the results to the experiment that he wanted to. He had a Masters in Physics. He didn't appear to re... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 14 Jul 2012, 1:46 am
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| Thanks for all the replies. We both work and we earn roughly the same amount, though I work slightly fewer hours so have more time at home than he does. (I still work 5 days but I'm home at 4.30 rather than 6.00). I don't mind doing the lion's share of the housework/childcare so long as I can do it ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 13 Jul 2012, 4:28 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| Thanks. We kind of already do that, the study is unofficially his space and he always puts his coins, watch, phone, keys etc there, although it's a hell of a safety hazard with young kids around. But because I do the washing up, he gives me the box to wash up and if he uses it the next day, it's fin... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 13 Jul 2012, 3:54 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| I guess that makes sense but I don't know how to get him to take any kind of responsibility. Whenever he has a meltdown he acts like it's down to me to put the situation back how he wants it. I think this may be because his mum always did that when he was young. (He's 38 now by the way.) Even now wi... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Husband with possible undiagnosed Aspergers - how do I help? |
| dallandra |
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Posted: 13 Jul 2012, 3:12 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 5,989
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| I believe my husband has Aspergers. He disagrees and thinks he is 'normal' and the rest of the world is 'wrong' (his words). He won't speak to his GP or research it or seek any kind of support. This is his choice but his behaviour which I believe is a result of his Aspergers has a very negative effe... |
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