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Forum: The Haven Topic: How can I get over a shameful past and forgive myself? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 14 Dec 2016, 5:53 am
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Replies: 43
Views: 2,552
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| Shame is not an inherent property of 'reality', it is a result of your own self-perception. In order to change your self-perception you have to first be aware of the perceptions you want to change in a cause-effect sort of way. It's not about contradicting yourself in regards to what you already per... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: In the trash it goes |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 3:05 pm
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Replies: 2
Views: 433
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| Boredom is indeed horrible, and risky activities do indeed reduce it. I say go for it. As you said, you've got nothing to lose. You don't like your life the way it is now, and insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result this time. Do something different. Seriously... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm either overreacting or I've messed up big time |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:53 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 599
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| I've never been the best at standing my ground, or indeed even knowing whether I'm really in the right or the wrong in the first place. The whole situation just felt "off" to me, but it's all over and done with now. From now on I'm just going to keep things simple and only go to events wh... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I feel like complete crap |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:37 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 534
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noumenon wrote: You are reaching a higher state of enlightenment, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you, if you allow it to be. There is nothing to fear, you are blessed. It will all make sense in time.
I concur. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: How do I convince my 8 year old sister to remain cute? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:35 pm
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Replies: 106
Views: 5,615
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Meistersinger wrote: Do I detect troll bait with this topic?
Trolls can be excellent teachers. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Why do I keep doing this to myself? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:27 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 402
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| I find controversy interesting. If you're saying things and they're not listening to you, there's a decent chance you're also not listening to them. About veganism: Getting angry, yelling, arguing, debating, etc. at someone who -eats living things and doesn't think twice about it- should be an expec... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Dry Skin? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:18 pm
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Replies: 2
Views: 320
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| Coconut oil, olive oil, lard. Glysomed I've heard is good for a non-food moisturizer, working in fast food where hand washing multiple times an hour was required (moving from food prep to handling money and back) it was the go-to moisturizer. I don't use moisturizer regularly, but when I have I find... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: So I asked that girl is she'd want to hang out sometime |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 2:01 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 1,373
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| Oh, also, going to her with a plan of something to do isn't a 'symbol' (well, it is, but that's not the important thing). It's important for purely practical reasons. Someone, either you or her, NEED to decide on what to do, or else nothing will happen. This is, like, a truth of the universe, not a ... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: So I asked that girl is she'd want to hang out sometime |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 1:54 pm
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Replies: 28
Views: 1,373
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| So coworker who talks to me sometimes asked her sister(who also works here) if she had a BF and was told she(the girl) isn't wanting bf right now. What's that mean? It means you're going to -truly- have a chance to spend time with her without worrying that you're dooming her life. It also means she... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Are some people inherently worthwhile? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 1:00 pm
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Replies: 9
Views: 696
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| Everyone is inherently worthwhile, you included. I truly believe this. I love my cat, therefore she is worthwhile to me, but she certainly does nothing 'worthwhile' in terms of, well, any objective measure of value. She sheds, she makes a mess, she costs money, can't look after herself, etc. But I l... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: How do I convince my 8 year old sister to remain cute? |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 12:32 pm
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Replies: 106
Views: 5,615
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I seriously hope this was intended to be tongue-in-cheek.
Social workers don't 'convince' people to grow up. People -freely- go to see people for help and they then freely take it or freely change, or they don't.
If neither one of these things describes you, then you were wronged. |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I'm either overreacting or I've messed up big time |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 12:21 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 599
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| Let me get this straight, your sister strong-armed(dominated) you into telling this person that you both couldn't make it, and you led her to believe that you were going to cancel for both of you, then you only cancelled for you. Good job lying to your sister. You're being upset because you are maki... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Christmas with family |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 12 Dec 2016, 12:04 pm
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Replies: 1
Views: 347
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| I'm 34. I live alone 1200km away from my parents and sister and her family, only 100km from my brother. I am on disability (government money) that is just enough to live on. I've been in and out of the hospital for suicidal ideation multiple times the past year. One of those times my parents came do... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Social etiquette and the effects of isolation |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 02 Dec 2016, 12:27 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 775
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| In order to be social with others you need to get up to their level. This is not a judgement, this is the best way I think I have of describing a perception of the working of people. This means reducing your level of self-examination. When the focus you have is something that you can share with othe... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Communication shapes my actions but cannot shape ME |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 02 Dec 2016, 12:07 pm
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Replies: 0
Views: 272
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| ... ..... I just realized that language itself is defined by how people view things outwardly. People use words to describe how they perceive others, but they don't use it to describe themselves. I shape my behavior on the language other people use. But because the language regarding internal things... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: I'm out of the loop |
| cavernio |
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Posted: 11 Nov 2016, 4:40 pm
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Replies: 10
Views: 724
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| No, wait, this is it, what I was trying to get at. I see myself as myself. I see other people's projections of themselves only. Other people only see me as a projection. But I think other people can see themselves as themselves and also as their projections. They can see their reflection. I don't se... |
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